2006-10-27 08:54:07 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Just be loving and let them know you are their for them. Keep the communication lines open. Be involved in their everyday life include them in things. I do not know how old they are but this advice is for all ages. Even if they act like they don't care, they do. If they are older let them know you do not intend to take the place of their Dad, but you would like to be a part of their family. Best wish to you. Try not to be over powering. Give them time and they will get to know you and you guys will become friends and then they will love you.
2006-10-27 09:07:07 · answer #1 · answered by CHAEI 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you can do for your stepkids is to love and nurture as if they were your own. Kids need to love and attention from both parents and since you are marring their mother, you are their dad. Kids that do not get enough love and attention from either parent tend to develop some problematic behaviors. As far as disciplining is concerned, you might want to talk to your wife about it first to make sure that you guys are on the same page. because your words might not be accepted so eagerly in the beginning because you are the new member of the family. It will take time and persistence. But right now the best thing is to love them and spend time with them. Good luck.
2006-10-27 11:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jeannette E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself. don't try to buy the childs affection. be there to listen. be there to play. and just from having had a stepfather myself, let the mom handle the punishment for awhile. you and her discuss behind closed doors so you have input but let het actually hand down the punishment. at least until the child becomes comfortable with you as a parent in all the positive ways.
2006-10-27 12:14:04 · answer #3 · answered by heather l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the age of the kids. My son (whom I have always referred to as my son, and he has always referred to me as his father) was 4 when I entered his life. I was his friend first and eventually his dad. I was able to do this partly because his biological father wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.
With a younger kid, just assume the role of a father. With an older kid, assume the role of friend. He can have a biological father, biological mother, and still have you as a best friend (not to mention if his other father is still in the picture you won't be stepping on any ones toes)
Also understand that his bonds with his mother will always be stronger than they will be with you. At times, I am as much a father to my son as I believe anyone can, but I also know that he can talk to his mother about things that he won't talk to me about. I respect that, though for a while early on it did hurt.
I speak as though your children to be are boys, they may be girls, or a combination of the above. Good luck and enjoy your new life!
2006-10-27 09:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once remember saying to a mate in the same situation, 'How lovely! that they accept you!'
He corrected me and said 'How lovely it was for them to accept him' and I have since then in my own situation realised that to accept another persons child as your own must be really hard, cos my man don't accept mine ~ they can never be blood. If only I had ever known that! well that's another story.
Good luck and be kind, kids grow up to love or hate you, just remember that they are little people waiting to grow up.
The very best of luck :)
2006-10-27 09:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on kids ages, involvement of biological father etc. Personally I was glad my step dad never tried to replace my actual dad, he was more like a friend. Best advise is take your lead from them, if they approach you, how respond to you etc. Just be there if they need you, or want you to be. Just be patient (even if they start arguing with their mum), it;ll take alot of time to get proper trust and respect between you.Good luck
2006-10-27 09:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love your new wife's kids as if they were your own. It's gonna be a new experience for the kids, too, having a new dad, so you must both take it one day at a time, & not expect too much from each other.
2006-10-27 08:59:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it really depends so much on age of kids and how involved their biological dad is.
if really young kids and no dad involved then be just like the dad.
older kids will not accept a new dad.
kids with an involved dad won't accept another one, either.
if they are teens then just be more like a wise advisor.
there are lots of conflicts if the kids are older.
2006-10-27 09:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by Sufi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them come to you, if your too friendly they might not like it but how old are they? if they're really young there should not be a problem but if they've grown up with one dad and now have another, it could take time to gain confidence.
Good luck though.
2006-10-27 09:09:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise is to have stepdad be just a friend to the kid. Take the parenting / discipline one slow step at a time.
2006-10-27 08:59:54 · answer #10 · answered by auntiepamma 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋