Let's end the week with some laughs! Anyone got any funny jokes to share???
Have a good weekend!!
2006-10-27 08:53:41 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A man walks home drunk with his flask in his back pocket. As he stumbles up his front porch, he slips and falls back, landing right on his flask. It shatters and cuts his rump up bad.
Being quiet as a mouse, he enters the house and goes into the bathroom where he wouldn't disturb his wife. Looking in the full length mirror, he plasters up with band aids until the blood didn't show any more and he went to bed, congratulating himself on the first-aid he accomplished.
In the morning, he found his wife making breakfast and looking angry.
"You went and got drunk last night and got hurt, didn't you?" she asked accusingly.
"Whatever would make you ask that, dear?" he asked innocently.
Pointedly, she said, "The bathroom mirror is covered with band-aids."
2006-10-27 09:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As supposedly reported on CNN:
Undercover police, staging the wedding of "a drug kingpin's daughter", let it be known on the street that dealers were "invited" (i. e. Expected to attend).
The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was "S. P. O. C." (COPS, backwards), and the wedding went through the full ceremony, including the dancing afterward.
The long-sought dealers were arrested after the "band" took their break. The last song the band played before taking its break? "I Fought The Law, And The Law Won"
Boss asks secretary "Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Salad and a *******?"
"No", says the secretary.
"Great, Let's do lunch." the boss says.
There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She was very pretty and he liked her a lot.
One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly, and she was absolutely gorgeous.
He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing..." I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."
2006-10-27 16:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Fri day comes on Fri day only.
enjoy good week end.
2006-10-27 20:34:47 · answer #3 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋