I'm 5 months pregnant, and my b/f of two and a half years just dumped me...he says he doesn't love me anymore...i feel terrible not just for me but for the baby....i know that it can hear already, and i'm afraid it won't recongnize my b/f voice...i really love him with all my heart and i want to know if i should just give up?
2006-10-27 08:52:39 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Sounds like things must be feeling a bit grim at the moment to say the least. A lot of changes are going on for you - and not all of them are good. I am not quite sure what you mean by giving up - but this is not the easiest of mediums to do "chat-type" conversation in :)
Giving up is a choice you could take - but would be a pity, both for you and for your baby.
Perhaps spending time with family and/or good friends at the moment would be a good plan - not to try and "hide what is happening" - but to give you a little support while you find your feet again - and work out how you are going to make the best out of, what for the moment is, a difficult time.
I am sure other folks will come up with ideas and points too - hopefully without needing to "take sides" which proably won't help too much - especially if you still have strong feelings for him.
It is a terrble cliche I know, but time DOES soften the hurt - and you do need to bear in mind you will soon have the chance to love, guide and nurture a brand new little life - someone who will love you as unconditionally as you will love them.
I am hoping you decide to give life all you have got - and enjoy brining up your son/daughter.
Good luck
2006-10-27 09:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by Mark T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My heart really goes out to you. I know how shattered, angry, lost I felt when my boyfriend left me some years ago and I wasn't pregnant then.
I know it is hard but you need to focus on you and the babies health first - try and block him out and use your friends and family for support. I also talked to a lady doctor which really helped sort my head out and calm down.
If you beg him to come back it will just scare him off completely. In my case there ws another woman involved; even though he denied it for months. (There often is as in my experience men are cowards when it comes to owning up to meeting someone else, sorry guys but true). Give yourself a month for time to left the hurt and anger subside and don't contact him. It may be that with the space he realises what he has lost. It maybe that he is terrified of being a dad and just needs time for him. Screaming at him and crying will have no effect other than to push him away.
After a 12 months break with my boyfriend during which we both had other relationships we did end up getting back together and are now married - but I am convinced that not chasing after him and getting on with my life helped. It is very hard but the right thing to do. I'm sure when you have your baby you will feel like the luckiets person in the world and will be determind to love and protect him/her with of without your boyfriend.
2006-10-27 16:04:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sorry ahole. I would definitely dump him and file for him to support you and the baby. It was his sorry a-- that helped you get in this situation and a man who won't stick with you in this time when you need him the most isn't a man at all but a slimmy creature that needs to be taken for what ever he has and support his baby. Why did he decide on leaving, has the well suddenly dried up for him? You are beautiful as a soon to be mommy and don't forget it. Why would you want your baby to recognize your sorry BF's voice? He seems like he didn't love you at all just what he could get and when responsibility starts knocking he starts walking. I say finding out about him now is better than later.
2006-10-27 16:04:19 · answer #3 · answered by Chuck C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think that maybe it is because he is afraid of having this baby, he now has to grow up? I know you said that you have been together for 2.5 years, but having a baby changes things.
Give him a little space, and don't try to pressure him into making a decision. He's probably running scared- you're pregnant and going through so much that he doesn't understand. Encourage him to talk, or ask him to write the reasons that he no longer wants to be with you.
Please try not to get upset about it, it might blow over in a couple of weeks/months...
just be strong for you and your baby.
And if he does walk away from you, be grateful that it happened now instead of a year from now.
2006-10-27 16:18:27 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on your b/f you say you love him but does he feel the same for you? He says he doesn't love you anymore OK so how do you think your going to keep someone who doesnt love you? Are you just going to make it miserable for him if he stays with you and what if he starts to cheat? Your not going to want that. I was 4 months when my b/f of 4 yrs dumped me for the same reason which I just moved on for my childs sake and got my life toghter for my child and did my own thing, well he never came back and started screwing everyone he knows, Now he is the father of 7 kids which he doesn't do anything for and still no where in life. I am now married and have a life.. So my thought for you is get yourself toghter for your child, get everything ready for you and your child. and let him go if he comes back then keep him if not he wasn't worth your time.
2006-10-27 15:59:26 · answer #5 · answered by Alexis221 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give up on what? you can't give up on yourself because you have a baby growing inside of you. you can't give up on the baby because it's to late for that. you CAN give up on the boyfriend. stop trying to win him back with the "i'm pregnant with your baby." generally it doesn't work. more than likely your boyfriend is stressed from the whole situation. most of the time, the guy feels out of the loop because he's not the one getting to experience the baby growing inside, he often feels that you are unattractive (not b/c you are but b/c you look different now and he isn't feeling the same kind of love for you). let him make up his mind - i'm sure that he loves you but don't get to stuck on that idea. being a single parent isn't an uncommon thing so whatever you do don't make that unborn child feel bad that you are going to have to raise him alone for awhile. embrace the time alone with your child - it's good bonding time (even when he/she is unborn). don't regret the past, realize the future.
2006-10-27 16:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easier said than done,but yes you should just leave him alone. Give him his space he's probably scare any way with the baby coming and he's most likely listening to his friends. If it's meant to be it will and if it's not then that means that God has someone greater for you and the baby, someone who won't run out. I'm sorry this has happened to you but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and It is his lose for leaving you and his unborn child not yours. Take care
2006-10-27 15:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by Tammi R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.....not sure exactly what you mean by "Give up" but if it means seeking him out and trying to get him back...Right now you need too remain stress free so you can have a healthy baby, this child is innocent and doesn't know what is going on outside, so you have too take extra care of this child if you get too worked up meaning emotional that causes stress and your baby is going through those changes as you would naturally not eat like you would normally and be on the move....exercises is very important as this baby is growing within you and when you give birth you have to be strong enough to give birth! Too get back to this Boyfriend just do as I suggested above and show him the baby later, we both hope he will change his mind once he sees this beautiful child! If it doesn't workout you will have too pursue Child support it is very difficult too make it on our own without some extra help! And please don't use the your baby as leverage to get him back..that will just push him farther away!!
Good luck, Happy Mom....take care of that baby!!
2006-10-27 16:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by wordsteward 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what...he never loved you to begin with. He got what he wanted and is moving on.
Now it's time for you to do the same.
Go to your nearest courthouse and file for child support and get on with your life WITHOUT THIS LOSER.
He would be a poor influence on your child and possibly abusive toward you.
YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT and deserve to be treated as the queen you are.
God loves you with all of your faults, so do I. Now let God take care of you an dgive you the man who will treat you the way God does.
GOD BLESS YOU AND THE BABY.
2006-10-27 15:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by altolori2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let your b/f cause you stress, that effects your baby. Kick his sorry *** out and take care of yourself and your baby. That is the most important thing that you can do now. He has made it clear that he does not love you and apparently does not want anything to do with his baby. Sorry that you decided to get pregnant with a jerk.
2006-10-27 15:57:40 · answer #10 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋