Fed up with my Daughter!?

Question

I am at the end of my rope.
I have a 9yr old daughter who refuses to be good in school.
Every week I get a note from her teachers that she wants to run the whole class, doesn't listen, and gets out of her seat all day long!
Now, its to the point where they call me almost daily!
I don't know what else to do...
Anyone have any ideas?
I have grounded her, taken away things, had a heart to heart with her.. and I am just lost now.
Someone please give me ideas or tips to help her!
Thanks

I am a very good mother!
I adopted her you a$$!!!

to the ***** who said for her to find her natural mother.. she knows her. She is my sister and was a horrible mother who did horrible things to her. my daughter tells me everyday how happy she is that i took her away from her!

Answer 1

dont punish her just use the incentive way it will work with she because she still young and not be able to make defrenciate between right and wrong

Children are not born knowing how to be well behaved. They need help and guidance from parents and other careers - and as all parents know this isn't always an easy job

Talking to other parents with children of the same age it may work and help u
Children learn that they get attention by doing things parents don't like.

A better way to encourage good behavior is to remember to praise them as often. This doesn't mean never reprimanding them for doing something wrong. But it's important to criticize the child's behaviour rather than the child as a person. Instead of saying, "You are very naughty", say something like, "I don't like what you're doing", or, "We won't allow that behavior".

Set limits for your child
Let children know what behavior is allowed and what isn't. Setting limits makes them feel secure. Be consistent about what is and what isn't acceptable.

Answer 2

Please have your daughter tested to see if she is gifted. She could be bored. I am assuming that you have had her tested for all the attention disorders that children can have. But please ask that she be tested to see if she's so smart, that she gets bored and finds some unpleasant things to occupy herself with.

If she's not gifted, then she's at the age that you can explain that she's going to end up in a special class. I know a girl, her daughter is so bad that she isn't allow to eat or play with the other children. She sits by herself in a room for recess also. The little girl is looking for attention that she's not getting at home, that doesn't sound like your little girl. She sounds like she's getting plently of love and understanding.

You may have to take her to a counsler. If she doesn't learn to control herself now, it may get worse. She could out grow it, my neice did. She was mean with a captial M, but she is the most loving mother of 3 now, but when she was little, a snake would have back away from her. It could be something that she can't deal with mentally from her time with your sister, before you adopting her. And she doesn't even realize it. I pray that you can find the answer for you and your precious angel.

God bless us all..............

Answer 3

You may have to sit in with her (or spy) to see exactly what triggers this behavior in her.
Is she bored?
Is she being taught on her level? Sometimes if the workload is not challenging enough or is too challenging kids will act out.
Mine use to be too easily distracted, so from my experience:
have this child moved to the front of the class, there's less folks up there for here to disturb, and she may calm down (some).
If she just naturally demands a lot of attention, you'll have to encourage (bribe) her good behavior in school with really exciting afterschool activities. It will take a while but she'll learn to control her behavior at school and save the extra energy or enthusiasm for afterschool.

Answer 4

I wonder if you can give us additional details if shes like that at home?
If she isnt, then obviously its not your job to keep her sitting in her seat at school, its the teacher's job.
The teacher is the one who must ''run the whole class'' what she is stating doesnt make sense.
Is it just one teacher? Does she get along well with her school mates?
I dont know what she told you when you had that heart to heart but does she get any praise at school from the teachers at all? Some kids need positive reinforcment sometimes taking stuff away etc backfires.
I hope you get to the bottom of what is causing this.

Answer 5

Go talk to the school social worker, or counselor and explain the situation.
Ask them if why they can-not control your daughter while she is in school...these people are supposed to be professional, and should know how to handle discipline problems!
She may have an underlying cause for being so disruptive..maybe something medical, or perhaps she is having unwelcome advances for a neighbor?? You need to find out the cause of her problems, and you will need help in doing that!
Good luck with your situation.

Answer 6

Time out does nothing for a 9 year old child. Honestly. Maybe you should try talking to the teacher and/or principal and see if there isn't some kind of in school punishment they can give her. You can't always be there to hold her hand and make sure she behaves. I think that something like an inschool detention or maybe making her sit in the principal's office would help.

Answer 7

I suspect that her bad behaviour did not just originate at school....it's been going on all her life, beginning at home. You just haven't noticed and are obviously not doing a good parenting job. I don't mean this as an insult, only as the probable reason for the kid's acting out.

As a teacher, I generally know and can tell the source of a child's actions and speech. For an explanation of HER actions, I suggest that you take a look inside yourself. The apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree.

I recommend some serious counseling for the both of you.....the sooner the better.

*********
In reading the questioner's followup to her question, I can see exactly why the kid is how she is!!! It's just like I said....The apple don't fall far from the tree!!

Mark one MORE up for the Zilla!

Answer 8

If you are a single mom and it sounds like you are, tell her that you are going to take your vacation time at work and sit in her class until you figure out why she is acting this way- if you are not working, then go sit in her class with her- and I bet it stops, if not you can always take her in the hall and talk to her when she does it in class-

Please don't spank- it sounds like there is something more along the lines of her feeling she needs your attention- if she is good for a week or so tell her that ya'll can go to the park and such.

Is there a new guy in your life? Maybe she feels threatened- Your personal life is not my business, but it's just some thoughts.

Answer 9

You are a good mum, slow down for a moment.

I sincerely do not think that your child is enjoying all this, it is beyond her help for the most part. You may be judging her for what she cannot control.

There are different types of ADHD and i would suggest that you have your daughter tested for this. I have afreind whose son was just what you described but after he was identified for ADD, and got the right support and medicine, he changed and you cannot tell that he is the same person today. And these services are free at the school districts!

Don't give up in her, you are her only hope.

Give her a chance.

Answer 10

Wish I had the answer!! I have a 15 yr old like that. She started at around the age of 12. I don't have any easy answers. I take her to therapy once a week (however we are now on therapist #5 because she didn't like the other ones) but it doesn't seem to help much. You might try talking to the school counselor to see if they have any suggestions.
Good luck!
Uh, yeah, I just read dogzilla's answer....not always true. Kids are people just like grown-ups. I have 2 daughters with completely different personalities. They grew up in the same house with the same rules. One listens, is laid back, easygoing, respectful and one is just the opposite. Don't blame yourself.