I work full time, and my mom watches my son and hes 3 months.... is it normal to feel bad leaving him everyday?? b/c when u think about it he spends most of his time at her house with her, and when I get home at 5, I only spend 3 to 4 hours with him, and then he’s off to bed..... Does he still know me as "mom"???? Is anyone else going through the same thing?? why do i feel so horrible????
2006-10-27 07:49:53 · 14 answers · asked by hotsoccergal0310 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Thanks so much for all the answers I feel a lot better now that I know I’m not the only one!
and to "kat"s we did PLAN our son and I knew I would have to keep him with a sitter, (my mom) b/c I have to work to support my family, I just didn’t know it would be this hard....
2006-10-27 09:31:46 · update #1
ohm dear! I gues you miss your child so much and you wouod like to spend more time with him. and I gues you are all the time molesting yourself with theis question if you are good enough mother: So here is what i think, hope it will help
First of all, it is great for the kid to grow up if not with parents, than with the closest relatives! It is sucha gift from life. Imagine, all the rest of mothers who have to give their children to kindergartens or unknown persons! So your baby is having a very good person to take care of her. And also grandmas relate differently to granchildren, than mothers do to their children, so this makes you mother, full time. And also, I think that it is not the amount of time you spend with the child but the quality of it, and the quality of the relationship you build between you and him, which matters really.
I grew up in kindergadents, having working parents...and they are still myparents...
So go on,and have much fun with your baby! Enjoy the moment you have with your baby and all the wonderful help received from your mom. That is what I think!
2006-10-27 07:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly normal to feel how you do. I went back to work full time when my son was 2 months old. My mom watched him for me also until he went to school at 5. He knew me and still loved me as his mommy. Your mom is the next best thing to you and it's GOOD that he is with her if he can't be with you. My mom and my son are really close because of that and he loves her to death, and she feels the same about him. They have a special bond but it didn't take away from his bond with me. Sometimes he loves to spend the weekend at her house for several weeks in a row and then sometimes he has had enough and misses his mommy and wants to stick under me all the time. So don't worry. Just try and spend as much of your time with him as you can when your not working. Once he gets older and stops sleeping so much it will be easier. I know you feel bad but trust meit's ok. I went through the EXACT same thing and it was fine. I just made sure that when I was home and on my off days I was with him. I didn't go out or anything. I just poored love into him. And he is a true mama's boy today, he is six. Don't feel bad though your doing what a lot of moms do and your relationship with your son won't be harmed from it.
2006-10-27 07:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by Lovemykids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to feel like that. Even though I work at home and have a nanny to take care of my kids, I still felt that way because I didn't spend every minute with them.
They DO know that you are the Mommy. It's good for them to have attachments to other people. Trust me, it's worse when they don't. You never get a minute to yourself when that is the case.
That happened to me with my second child. He didn't want to bond with his father. For 5 months, weekends have been hell because my husband couldn't watch the baby for a mintue while I tended to my two year old.
If I needed to go out shopping, I had to take both kids with me, which makes it impossible to buy a basket full of groceries.
Just make sure that you spend quality time with your baby whenever you can. He'll appreciate it and it will make it more special.
2006-10-27 07:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you work full time and you decide to have a baby you should have thought about all of this before you knew you would have to leave him at a sitters. Any way just be thankful you have you mom watching him. And you will get use to it. It is the American way as they say.
2006-10-27 08:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by CHAEI 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont think your feeling guilty at all I personally think you just have alot of love (thats obvious)for your child. You dont feel bad about paying your bills and getting things done you just feel bad because he cant see you like you want too. Thats not guilt thats love that you have for him. When he gets older he'll understand that ya just gotta do whatcha gotta do to get things done. As long as the time you spend with him when you do get home is good quality time. Dont feel guilt be proud.
Just my take on it.
2006-10-27 08:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by Robyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because our society makes you feel that way. They say that if you don't spend such and such amount of time, you're a bad mom, and the at-home moms (with no education and no skill) make it seem as if you are missing out.
Just know that he won't remember missing anything! If you feel that bad, wake him up and play with him...it's not like he's gotta get up for work the next day! lol, he'll just sleep more tomarrow while you're at work.
I'm proud of you for choosing life, and I bet your son is too!
2006-10-27 08:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh hun he know who you are. i think every parent goes through this. I have 3 kids and that was hsrd leaving 3 kids at a sitter all day but you find time to spend with them even if you dont think its enough time, they love you just as and more much as whom is watching your kids
2006-10-27 07:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Beth B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're leaving him with the next best person. Your Mom loves him and loves you. Your baby will always know you're his Mom and believe me, he will always love you as long as you are doing what's best. My brother and his wife are helping to raise their daughters son and he's just getting that much more attention and love. You're doing the right thing. Keep it up.
2006-10-27 07:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by cajalyn1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately it's our role in life as mothers to feel guilty - we feel guilty for being at home and not bringing money into the home, we feel guilty for going to work and not being at home with the kids, it's a losing battle hunny. i work full-time, i have 4 kids and just about feel ok with it now that my youngest is 10. good luck and try not to give yourself a hard-time. xxx
2006-10-27 12:23:23 · answer #9 · answered by mousie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do about it.
That's the way the world works.
You feel quilty because of ideas that were put ijn your head as a child about what a parent should be like.
2006-10-27 07:52:30 · answer #10 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋