I have been with my boyfriend for a long time (3years) and since we graduated college we've been in different cities. We decided we'd both move to NYC since that is where I applied to grad school and where I want to work. We decided this months ago and he has been supposedly applying to tons of jobs in NYC. Well last night I'm over at his house and asked to check my e-mail on his comp. His e-mail account was open and I saw (I know this is bad but it was SO hard not to, besides it was already open), he had TONS of e-mails from companies in California. Turns out he has job interviews there and he hasn't applied to ANY jobs in NYC. He's been lying to me. I didn't pressure him to move where I am going to be, in fact I was always open minded, but he is stringing me along. Do I break up with him? Or should I give him a chance to explain? But how do I tell him I looked through this stuff? Sorry for the length of this. Any advice I'd really appreciate. Thanks
2006-10-27 07:03:26 · 11 answers · asked by Kristina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Apparently he is stringing you along. He gets what he wants, so why not, right? His head is not into a committed relationship, more so, he's simply enjoying life, which in itself may not be a bad thing, but on his own separate agenda, which you are just a pawn. He's been less than candid, so if I where you, I wouldn't confront him, but rather just let the relationship end now. You move to NYC and he won't follow. Your life will go forward and so will his, just in different directions. If he asks why you've suddenly become detached, then you might just tell him that you're not stupid and that he very well knows why and that you don't appreciate any portrayal of being an innocent victim. You're done. He'll probably realize at that point that you saw something and he is busted. While he could say that you snooped...fine, but he shouldn't be hiding anything from you either. He's more guilty than you might be. Be glad that you found this out now. Enjoy your future.
2006-10-27 07:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without mentioning that you saw his Emails, ask him if he has applied for any jobs outside of NYC, to judge his reaction. Discuss any potential situation where he would consider a job in California and ask what his expectations are from your relationship should he decide to move. That should give you an indication of what he feels and what his overall plans are.
2006-10-27 07:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You saw what you saw without going looking for it. He gave you permission to to use his pc so I would confront him about it. You have been making plans with him included and have the right to know if he is indeed looking a different way. Breaking up with him depends on what he says and how you truely feel about him and living that far apart from each other.
2006-10-27 07:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mmmmm tough one...I would just say to him look i love you but you have to do what you want with your life i am always going to be here for you to help you and guide you through life... I have no idea how far aprt these cities are concidering i live down under in Aus... But just say to him that when ever you get a chance to meet up you will.... and tell him the truth about the comp just say when you where going to check your e-mails his was open you went to close it and it just caught your eye.... he cant get angry with you...
2006-10-27 07:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by Nat M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of you responded your person question, flow on! yet, in case you sense as in case you have lots invested attempt doing this: tell him that it makes you very uncomfortable that he remains a member and maintains to talk to different women, regardless of if it extremely is purely to make pals (why is he attempting to make woman pals however fairly? To me, it became the lamest of lame excuses). Ask him to end. If he respects you and the dating, he will. there is actual no reason that he needs to stay a member of regardless of internet site he's on. If he would not end, its time to p.c.. it up sister using fact he for sure would not appreciate you and is probable searching for a alternative or a playmate on the component. the two way, i'm particular you're too darn good to place up with or settle for that no count how lots you have placed into it or how long you have been mutually!
2016-11-25 23:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you self a favor and tell him you know about the jobs. but if you care for him give him a chance to explan whats going on. but listen with you head, not with just your heart. hope things come out good for you.
2006-10-27 07:16:23 · answer #6 · answered by mawma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stupid!!! If you have questions and concerns after 3 yrs. there should be no question of whaty ou're supposed to do...In case you didn't get it...
Ask him what the he&& is goin on.
2006-10-27 07:05:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you need to confront him. dont worry bout looking through his stuff right now. you guys need to talk.
2006-10-27 07:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by lil_missy06_10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him; if you want him; work it out;
if you are tired of him --- then just let it play out;
2006-10-27 07:06:29 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him maybe he is with someone else
2006-10-27 07:08:27 · answer #10 · answered by sambonesgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋