How to teach my son?

Question

He had habbit of holding my breast or to keep a hand on it while sleeping. He is 7 years now. I tried my best to let him sleep separately but he cries at night. As I am divorced and we two are alone at home, initially I did not notice much but now I found him playing with my breast when he is awoke in morning.

Answer 1

One. It is not shameful. You and your son were effected by the divorce and him sleeping with you is a way to feel safe. Secondly, you do need to be firm with him on touching your breasts, but you don't want him to be scarred by the talk. he just needs to be told that you have your own areas and he has his and those are not to be touched without the others consent. You can make it a conversation that isn't just about his actions but all unwanted actions in general. Thirdly, to get him into his own bed, you need to come up with a ritual and stick with it. Make going to bed in his big boy bed a fun thing. Read him his favorite story. Make hand puppets on the wall with a flash light. If possible a tent made out of sheets works well. You have to make him feel safe and secure on his own in his room. this will help you sleep better and help him grow into a more independent child.

Answer 2

Get a stuff animal and when he crys at night you and the stuff animal go to him. Tell him that you both are there for him. Keep the stuff animal between you and him. He will hold onto the stuff animal at night instead. A lot of kids have security issues when parents separate Chances are he's afraid that you will leave him also. So he figures by holding on to you you'll be there in the morning. He just need to know that you would never leave him. It takes time. for some kids to get over having one parent.. When my wife left my son my son was 7, he would not sleep in his room for 8 months. He needed tio know i was still there and the only way he could sleep is if it was in my room.

Answer 3

Just tell him you don't like it and remove his hand. Do it every time, "Honey, I don't like that, you can hold my hand or arm but I don't want you to play with my breasts." Please and thank you.

Don't worry about him sleeping in your bed. There is a theory in attachment parenting that says that he will be more independent because he has security with you. He will be more likely to go and try things because he knows you are there for him.

Although no substantive studies have looked at the issue of the long-term family bed, long-term family-bedders say the concern any difficulty getting them out is without merit, and springs from the same obsession American society has with rushing children through developmental milestones such as weaning and toilet training. Children who sleep with their parents leave the family bed when they are ready: earlier for some children and later for others, just as with other stages of maturity. Of all the families I know who sleep with their kids, I have never seen a teenager who still wanted to sleep with her parents on a regular basis.

YOU and no one else is the very best mom for your child. Trust your instincts and you will do what is right for both of you. The only thing you have to remember is that if you resent something then change it. If you are happy and healthy and so is your child, then no worries!!

Answer 4

Find a suitable substitute such as a stuffed animal, or perhaps a hot water bottle (filled with hot water and sealed tightly) with a cover. When he goes to bed, make sure he has the substitue near him. You definately need to establish some bounderies with him. He's old enough to be spending the night in his own bed. If he cries, go to his room and sit on the floor next to his bed until he's asleep. He's obviously in need of reassurance. Help him to know he's safe. You may have to ease him into sleeping in his own room. Make a habit of returning him to his bed and then together, figure out a reward for him when he stays the night in his own bed. Persistance may not be easy, but it's the only way you'll help him break this habit.

Answer 5

I know it's hard but you have to get him in his own bed. I let my son sleep with me when his father and I got divorced. Probably more for my comfort then his. He was 2 and he slept with me until he was about 4. But I got remarried and had to put an end to it, plus he was old enough to know things about my body and his and know the difference. Your son is way too old to still be in the bed with you. He knows you guys have different body parts now and he should be told that it is highly inappropriate to feel on his mothers body. You should be teaching him not to fondle you or anyone else and not to let anyone do it to him and at this point it is a bad thing. I taught my son that I am his mommy and he needs to respectful of everyones body and insist others do the same of his. That means no touching, or invading anyones privacy. I give my son his privacy in the shower, while he is using the bathroom and getting dressed. He is 6 now. But he knows that touching and being touched is inappropriate. You have to cut the strings though and make him sleep in his own bed. He is old enough to and shouldn't cry because of it and if he does stick with your guns and let him cry. He will eventually go to sleep and get use to sleeping in his own bed as time goes by. Crying won't kill him, although I know it is annoying. But you have to do it.

Answer 6

Make him sleep in his room. The problem parents have is that they indulge their children way to much. A child says "I don't want that," and the parents automatically become their slave, and they say, "Okay, I'm sorry." Children become controlling when parents are like that. Look at a lot of teenagers now. Do you want that as your 7 year old son?

Here's my theory... It may be hard, but do it. It'll help in the long term.

Tuck him into his bed really tightly in his new room, and kiss him goodnight, sing a lullaby (anything you regularly do right now before he sleeps). Enforce it. Stay up about 10 minutes after you tuck him in. If he tries to escape, just keep going back into the room and tuck him in. Don't say anything. Just firmly grab his wrist and lead him back to his room. If he refuses, spank him. Don't abuse him, because that's against the law. Keep doing that until he's too exhausted to take another step. It may sound hard, but he'll become more comfortable with his new bed and without his parents after a while.

Answer 7

Tell him "no" firmly, then explain why this behavior is wrong. Hopefully, you think it's wrong, too. Enforce the notion that's it's wrong he goes out talking to his friends about it, and it gets into the wrong ears. You could be arrested for stuff like that, no matter how innocent it actually is. To law enforcement and prosecutors, it's INCEST. And to have your son sleep in bed with you @ the age of 7 is just not right, no matter how much he cries. He will get over it!! Look up "Oedipus Complex". Hmm- don't let that happen to you...

Answer 8

If you don't enforce him to sleep in his own room, it is hard i know, but it is important that he becomes a little less attached to you. as far as him touching your breast at 7, he is old enough for you to talk to him about how that is sexual and if he does this to someone else he could get in trouble. Maybe with the law. at least get a separate bed for him to put in your room.

Answer 9

Wear clothing that makes it difficult for him to touch your breasts. Wear a sports bra to bed maybe?

Try having a sticker chart where he can earn a reward for staying in his own room for a certain number of nights.

Talk to him about why he still crys at night. Find out what he is afraid of. Give him a stuffed animal to sleep with and a nightlight.

Answer 10

could be a security or a fetish-wear clothing to discourage contact, tell him it's okay to touch to give hugs and kisses, but some places on people you shouldn't touch-maybe start with small bed in your room to sleep on and then move to own space--make his room inviting to him for rest(maybe include nightlight); reassure him you are nearby if he needs you..