What's the best age to be a parent?

Question

I had my first child at 28, second at 30, third at 38 and forth at 41!
I find I have a lot more time for my children as I get older, When I was younger I was always so worried about them all the time, now I seem to have a confidence I didn't have when I was younger! I am also still fit enough to go to the park etc etc etc!

May I just say my mum had me at 17, and she never did any fun things with me and mostly resented me!
However i feel the only downside to being older, is hoping that I am going to be around in my 90's! for my kids sake!

Answer 1

I agree with you. I was far too young when I had my first chld - 21. I was impatient and I did feel resentful towards my child. I didn't have enough money to look after him properly and although I loved him, I wasn't giving him the best life I could have done.
I was a lot older when I had my two daughters. I'm much more patient and kind.
By the way, I think it depends on your personality and your upbringing, not necessarily your age. My mother was brought up in an orphanage and was religious so I didn't have a good role model. You have to learn about love and kindness and if you've got a bad background, you have to "unlearn" it before you pass it on to your kids.

Answer 2

I had my first child at 22, and my second at 24 and I feel this was a good age for me. I think any younger and I'd be now feeling like I've missed out on my youth...going out, girly holiday's, boyfriend's etc. Any older, and I'd be too old to carry on with my life once they've started at school etc. This way, my youngest will start school when I'm 30, which means I can find a job and do things for me...which I might not be able to do if I was 40.

I also think that as you get older you don't have enough energy to do things with your children...you might, but other's certainly wouldn't. I climb up slides, go high on swings, and go on all the horrible rides when we're out...I think this might fade with age...unless I'm going to be a rollercoaster granny lol.

My mum had me at 17 and she wasn't a very good mum. She did the best she could, but she was young, easily irritated, short tempered and she didn't seem to have any time for me. So for me, age really isn't the issue, it's making sure I do what I want to do for/with my children, and ensuring that I'm a better mum than my mum was.

Answer 3

well i think it depends on maturity really, i had my first child at 20, my partner was 23. Now 22 and 25 we are planning our second, i have lots of friends with babies who are around the same sort of age but i also have friends that still live with parents and can only just look after themselves let alone a child.
We give our child lots of time and love although we both have to work, me part time and my partner full time as being young parents meant we had no savings, we manage about 2 family holidays a year- we are off to tunisia december and new york in feb. We also go away with out each other and have friend holidays which are great cos you dont see your friends as much when you have a house and children and its nice to have a bit of me time. i know that when i am forty my eldest will be 20 and hopefully independant so that i will gradually get more free time and be able to whizz off to places that id not explored.

Answer 4

I really think all those ages are good. i was too young, and I worried constantly about doing what was right. so much, that it became harder to stop and enjoy my kids. I worried about the future for my kids (my first at 18). I was too young, and though i was a good parent, i over did it, and became very protective. I don't think its healthy to be this over protective. I was too young and already saw the world as a dangerous place to live in. Now I'm 32, and i have changed my ways alot. I think i would have liked to have my child later in life, where i was more mature and felt more confident about life and the future, and it would have been easier to pass this attitude to my child. But at the same time, my kids are blessings, no matter how young or old, I am. ;)

Answer 5

Agree with u. I was 32 when i had my first and 38 when i had my 2nd. I found that being a little older i had more patience, tolerance and understanding. I see a lot of young mums in my job and to be honest think that a lot of them lack life experience, tolerance etc. I am not saying that they dont love their children, of course they do. My sister had her children when she was young and we both discussed when we were older that she agreed with me that it was best to wait till u r a bit older to have kids. But then as long as u love a child then any age can do that. I have a young grandson now who is the apple of my eye.

Answer 6

I had my first at 18, second at 20, and twins at 22. I prefer being a young mom. By the time they are 22, 20, and 18, I will only be 40. Still young enough and hopefully healthy enough to travel and do whatever we want. I also wanted to be around when my children got older. I want to see my great grandchildren. (although i am aware I could die tomorrow, you never know)

My mom always says that she wishes she had me and my brother younger. That way she had more energy to keep up with her grandchildren.

Answer 7

30 35

Answer 8

I am 29 and pregant with my first, I am really glad that I waited some of my friends had children before they were even 21. I have traveled and partied and got to do things that people with kids can't do and I really enjoyed my 20's. Of course I waited until I was almost 28 to get married as well :)

Answer 9

It's not a question of age, it's a question of maturity and circumstance. If someone's mature enough and can take care of a kid at 22, then go for it. But some people are not ready until they're about 30, some 40, and some people are never ready. It sounds like you decided well though, so kudos.

Answer 10

I don't know if there is a right age. When your younger you tend to be able to keep up better, but when your older you seem to be able to handle the stress of parenthood better. Then, the more you have the easier it is, because of the experience and learning what to really worry about and what to let just happen, as kids will be kids no matter how hard we try to have them be angels.