This tuesday is my birthday. My problem is my bf,whom I live with, is going hunting tonite and tomorrow nite and wants to go to some friends of his sunday(I'm going also) and starting monday he goes back to nite shift at his job. He has not mentioned anything about my birthday,but I will give him credit,he bought me a really nice camera earlier this month and said happy birthday! I'm I wrong to feel hurt that he has planned no time for me on my birthday or I'm I being childish?
2006-10-27 06:06:55 · 26 answers · asked by kelley1031 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No neither of you are being selfish I think that he thinks you can handle it and that he thinks nothing of it, he's not trying to be mean, he's not trying to be selfish he is just doing his thing and goign on about his business and the things he does and you, well you should do more of your own thing, take up a hobby, buy a sewing machin, read a good book, do crafts. Sunday he will be with you even though it is going to his friends house maybe you could ask him to take you out to dinner before or after you go or maybe to stop in at your favorite club before or after you go to the friends... All will be welll. elax and go with the flow!!! No you are ot being childish you are concerned that you will miss him deeply and just want to spend time with him. Do not feel hurt men think much differetnly then women he has no idea you are hurt or bothered.... and it is up to you if you are or not... Good luck and Happy B-Day!
2006-10-27 06:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think selfish is the right word. Some people were not raised to make a big deal of birthdays. I remember when my hubby and I were first dating, on my birthday he didn't do anything but come to the party my roommate had planned. I was stunned because birthdays were a huge deal in my house growing up. Then I realized he wasn't raised that way and to his family, a b-day is just another day.
I wouldn't be too hurt if I were you. Some people aren't sentimental on bdays. But you did say he gave you a camera and told you happy bday. That's better than nothign!
2006-10-27 13:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you are being selfish, but does sound like there needs to be better communication. Your guy, like most guys, probably thinks since he has the awesome birthday present covered already, then his birthday obligation is over with. If him spending time with you for your birthday between now and then is important to you, you need to let him know and see if he can either give up a night of hunting or post-poning going over to friends this weekend and go out and do something special as a couple. If you don't say anything to him and get mad at him after the fact for not reading your mind, then you are being selfish.
2006-10-27 13:14:01 · answer #3 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He bought you a really nice camera and said happy birthday. How does that = "not mentioned anything about my birthday"? And aren't you all getting together with friends on Sunday?
You're just going to ignore that and pout because.... why?
It sounds ungrategful, like there's just no pleasing you if things aren't "your way." I'm sure you are a much nicer woman than that.
2006-10-27 13:11:17 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be trying to surprise you.
And even if he isnt, let me give you some insight into the male mind. He LIVES with you. How much more bloody time do you want from him? He is about to go start his night shifts again, which means alot fewer opportunities for social outings. It strains his time with you, but it also takes away from his time spent with friends and family and I'm sure he is trying to catch up on that, because unlike his buddies, he LIVES with you.
Besides, does he treat you well every day or just on special days? If he treats you well every day you need to get over it. It's your birthday, so what. What is so special about that? Gee, only about 16.5 MILLION people were born on the same day as you. The birthday fairy is probably gonna run out of "Magic Day Dust" long before she gets to you, assuming she doesnt die of exaustion first. Try making every day a good day instead of worrying about the childishly perceived notion of your one "perfect day" a year.
Or better yet, if you want your birthday to be so grand, plan it yourself! But I do realize that that is not the motivation. You dont want the "perfect day". You just want your BF to give up something he wants to do for you. And the only cure for that is reincarnation as a man. Effectively it doesnt matter, as your BF will tolerate these desires until you are secure in your relationship (read: fat) and trade you in for a younger model with less upkeep.
I wish you better luck in the XY lottery in your next life.
2006-10-27 13:37:26 · answer #5 · answered by Ace Morningstar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my boyfriend pulled a stunt like that and thought it was all right he'd be in big trouble. So what if he bought you a camera "earlier" this month? He couldn't WAIT to give it to you on your birthday so he half assed it? You're being childish for even assuming that you're the one who's selfish. It's your birthday - it should be about YOU.
2006-10-27 13:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you have every right to be upset. But if you guys are going to spend time together in the weekend then that should be fine and it's not like he's going out partying at your birthday he has to work But if you really insist on him spending time with you for your birthday then tell him without trying to be whiney that you want to spend time wth him for your birthday instead of just getting a present. Or maybe the day after when he doesn't work you guys could spend tie together just you and him to celebrate.
2006-10-27 13:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by Ms_Apple_Bttmz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that all depends.. how old are you?? im happy with the fact that my husband spends majority of his time with me.. its not everyday he gets to go fishing/hunting etc.. or just hanging out with his friends.. at least he got you a gift.. there's some men that can't even remember the month a their woman was born nevermind the day.. i'd say just appreciate the time you to spend togehter.. after all your birthday will come again next year.. and the year after that.. and so on..
2006-10-27 13:10:48 · answer #8 · answered by TwigEboneS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe (just maybe) he has something special planned for the night of your birthday. I know it would feel hurtful as I NEVER get anything for my birthday so i am used to it but be hopeful!
2006-10-27 13:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by athomemommy_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The camera was a nice thought, but I think he should at least take you out for dinner. But maybe he has a suprise party planned at the friends house that you're going with him to.
2006-10-27 13:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by Beth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋