My daughter and her boyfriend have recently become engaged.He lives in England ,and she lives in Wales, with us, her parents. The dilemma is, she really wants to get married locally, and the vast majority in the wedding will be our family and her friends. He has a small family, and the issue is, that his mother is suffering from ME. In think he's worried that she won't be able to make it. 5 years ago my son got married and I was too ill to attend owing to depression. I would not like to see anyone else miss out. However, is it fair to even consider having the wedding where my son inlaw to be is from? I know it wouldn't be the same for my daughter, and it would cause a lot of anemosity in our family. His mother could even be too ill to attend if it was local, as her illness is so unpredictable. I can do without this. Seeing as we would be paying for the wedding and the majority of guests are on my daughter's side, what do you think please?
2006-10-27 05:57:57 · 28 answers · asked by Linda 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I believe I responded to your daughter last evening.
I advised her to continue to make wedding plans. Without alot of extra cost, she can have a private ceremony at the mother's house. Rather than an actual wedding, they could save the ring exchange so the mother could witness her son being married.
There are ways to fix this problem. You all need to find a solution that works for you.
2006-10-27 06:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was just over from Canada for a wedding in Wales. It was held in the Bear Hotel in Cowbridge. It was really beautiful there. Because it was a hotel the guests could stay for a night or two and make a weekend out of it. My husband is Welsh and I'm Canadian. We were married in Canada. I have a large family and him a small one. A wedding in Wales was out of the question. Because I had the majority of the guests we held the wedding here. Most of the UK guests stayed in hotels, but we entertained every day at our home. The wedding was more for me than my husband anyways. It was my dream day, everything was what I wanted. Weddings are usually more for the bride than the groom anyways. Look into a location like the Bear where your guests can stay on location or very close to the location, maybe that will smooth things over. Remember you will never please everyone. Do what the bride and groom want, it's their day and if the family doesn't like it that's too bad.
2006-10-27 16:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its best to let your daughter and son in law to make the final decision in there wedding, but perhaps your the wedding could take place in wales and his mother could either travel over a few days earlier so to make it easier on her, or still get married in wales and have a small blessing after the honeymoon at your son in laws local church. And perhaps some special photos taken of them and his mum. It would be great to get the wedding dress on for a second time.
2006-10-30 00:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure some kind of arrangement could be made to get his mother to Wales. I would suggest someone drives her up in easy stages, in a big comfy car with reclining seats so she can rest, and further, I would suggest she comes a good week BEFORE the wedding. That way she can rest and be as fresh as she is able when the big day comes. Remember, that even if the wedding is held in the groom's parish church, it will still be a huge effort for her because of the emotion, so they may as well have the wedding they want and simply make appropriate arrangements to transport and accommodate his mother. I am sure your daughter and son in law can get round this with some forethought and planning.
Good luck to them on their marriage and I hope they will always be so happy.
2006-10-27 11:35:26 · answer #4 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it fair on the man side as he does have a sick Mother who also would like to get the chance to see her son getting married, I'm sure you have thoughts of missing your sons wedding but things can't be helped, a wedding is expensive now ( I know married 3 times) so try and do it where it will save her money rather than costing extra,
2006-10-27 06:05:04 · answer #5 · answered by Ivan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What about gonig on with wedding in Wales, as planned, and then the couple can have a small ceremony for his family in England. Many couples do double ceremonies when travel is not possible. It may not be the perfect solution as I'm sure she would like to be at the "actual" wedding, but something quite nice can be done for her enjoyment, too, and if is from England he surely has other friends and family who would not be able to make it Wales.
2006-10-27 06:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
im my parents only child and when i got married in London no-one from my family came to the wedding(my parents live in Egypt with my dads family and my mum's side in middlesborough are such an embarrassment i didnt want them to come). My mum biggest regret is not coming to my wedding and i also regret her not coming too. Im sure your daughters b/f will feel the same. I hope that this special day that only happens once can be attended by both sets of parents, im sure your daughter and her b/f will come to the right decision. By the way Congrats
2006-10-27 07:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is up to you, whether you're paying for the wedding or not. It's up to your daughter and her fiance.
However, I think it would be very rude of you to have the wedding in Wales if his mother won't be able to make it because she's too sick. Family before a party.
2006-10-27 06:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family & friends really love your daughter, they will understand the circumstances and either follow her to her wedding or stay put without any anemosity. I think it would be kind of you to allow his mom to attend. Especially if you know the feeling of missing your sons wedding in the past. Good Luck!
I hope your daughter makes the right decission.
2006-10-28 17:15:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your would Inlaw, your son-inlaw's mother is ill and may not even attend if the wedding takes place in your son-inlaw's place, it would be better to have the wedding in your locality so that your firends and family members can attend and reduce any animosity that would have existed. I do think your would be son-inlaw would understand.
2006-10-27 06:12:17 · answer #10 · answered by Andrew O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋