need help from the adult ladies out there, it would be greatly appreciated. I need to know how to read this situation so I don’t make an a** of myself tomorrow (I’m 30, and this girl is 34, neither of us have ever been married). I went out with this girl twice, the last time was a year and a half ago. The first time we went out things went ok and we made plans to go out again. Then one of her longtime friends got in the way and they began seeing each other. She lives one hour away from me so it would have been a long distance relationship. She broke up with him a few months later. We went out again shortly thereafter. I went to see her. At the end of the date, she said that she would have to come down to see me next time. she had indicated previously that the distance turns her off because she has to drive 45 minutes everyday to work and that was what was precluding her from starting a relationship with me.. It’s really complicated, but like an idiot I never asked her down because I kept coming back to the “she doesn’t like the distance thing so she isn’t really interested”. I didn’t want to have to deal with the rejection because she is an awesome girl and I could have seen myself falling hard for her and then end up hurt. If I missed my chance with her I’ll never forgive myself. Here’s the thing. We’ve kept in touch consistently for the last year and a half and email nearly daily (sometimes to the point of excessive since we are both at work!). Sometimes about absolutely nothing at all, but other times about life and what’s happening in each of our lives. Over this time I’ve begun to realize that I have some serious feelings for her, like she might be THE ONE. Back in January I realized this and I asked her out to lunch but she said that she had started seeing someone and “didn’t think it would be fair for all of us involved” to get together. So we went on like usual. I casually mentioned to her about a month ago that I had started seeing somebody (I’m not anymore but she doesn’t know that), and she immediately responded by suggesting that we needed to get together sometime. She is planning on coming down to my town to do some shopping and wanted to get together with me afterwards. Today, she mentioned that she’d like to switch up the schedule though, that she wants to see me first then do the shopping later. Can you give me your interpretation of the situation? Am I in the dreaded “friend zone” or is there a chance she is waiting to see my reaction and if I still have interest? I need the female perspective. Thanks in advance for your help, I am an absolutely pathetic mess
2006-10-27 04:48:35 · 5 answers · asked by kjhenkel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, you sound like such a great guy. My guess is that she does like you, but just doesnt want to be seen as being too clingy. Perhaps she isnt even aware that you are still interested in anything more than friendship. So, my advice is, when you do see her talk to her about the situation, tell her how you relly fee, and ask her to be straight with you too. Whatever happens at least things will be out in the open and you will finally know where you stand, which has got to be better than all wondering and waiting.
I wish you the very best of luck, would love to know if it works out for you.
2006-10-27 04:59:19 · answer #1 · answered by Pauline N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, you're a mess for nothing. So after all of this time, she's suddenly interested because she thinks you have a girlfriend. So, set up a lunch date and "feel out" what is going on. I think the "distance thing" in the past was a "guy thing" she didn't want to tell you about. I also think you're wasting your time. But I do believe you need closure on this thing. Go have lunch...it's just lunch...and she's putting you first so she has an excuse to leave if she feels uncomfortable..."oh, I need to go shopping"....she won't have the evening free or she has other plans. Truly she sounds like she has alot of boyfriends. A woman who is interested in you will go out of her way to see you and she's not doing it. Maybe that's why you are attracted to her...the one that got away? it might be the thrill of the chase. But I think she's playing you. Go to lunch. Be on your toes. Don't commit. Just enjoy the lunch and then back off. Let her take the lead. If she doesn't, forget it, honey. Her dance card is full. Godloveya.
2006-10-27 04:55:23 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen dude...what i could actually interpret is that this lady of yours isnot that interested in you....but on the other ahnd she doesnot really want to loose u as well...probably she doent want to loose ur friendship...but what all reactions and the way she behaves tells taht she is not interested in you like the manner you are....as in...probably she takes you just as a FRIEND and nothing more than that....!!!!! one example proving this is the excuse she makes for that distance problem of urs...see....a girl wouldnt really get bothered by just the distance if she is really interested in you...i mean...she try and find out the best possible way to just come and meet you....!!!! seriously this is true...
on the other hand..there could be a second possibility that she had some kinda soft corner for you but since you never told her about ur feelings, even she didnt.....girls generally dont take the first step for getting into a relation...as in generally they'll prefer that the guy only comes and proposes...which u didnt...but now when u told her that u r into a relationship with someone else, she have realised ur worth and this fear of loosing you mite be teh reason that she wants to meet you and make things clear with you....!!!!
i would suggest you that you meet that lady and see what she has to say...and then in the end of the day...u go and tell her your feelings....seriously...u had been knowing each other since long and if u really think that she's the lady for you, then go ahead dude...what are u waiting for...!! just go ahead..!! take care...and...ALL THE BEST....!!!!!!!!
2006-10-27 05:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by ..ss.. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she was more interested in being more than friends when you were unavailable. women are like that sometimes. i really do think you should tell her exactly how you feel. why not go to her neck of the woods one weekend and visit her?
2006-10-27 04:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by anklebiter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy a nice red rose and stick it on her car window wiv a note saying i love u (from whoever u r)
then if she talked about it wiv u like oh thanx that's really sweet etc... this means she really likes u,if she didnot talk about it at all then forget it
2006-10-27 04:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋