Swinger lifestyle... thoughts on it please?

Question

Just joined a website out of curiousity... why is it that there are more men than women? I mean this could be to my benefit but not necessarily in my partners best interest...

Want to thank all for your honest answers... especially "golden angel" with her profound method of insulting people on this forum... but honey, u r correct.. I am the sh!t. Hater..

Answer 1

My word, we have an uptight bunch here don't we? For God's sakes people, the woman isn't interested in facing the moral fiascos associated with the matter, they are easily made peripheral. I know couples who have an ideological love, but swing, for them sex and love are seperate and mariage is merely peripheral because mutually consentual acts adhere to our conception of love.
It takes a lot out of women and certain social comforts are at risk of being sacrifised.
Women, some of course(especially those inconsiderate feminists), have trouble making distinctions and this is a reason why the site might feature more men than women.
Be warned though, sites can often be unreliable and various fetishists can wreak havoc with arrangements made.
Try some quality correspondence first and then go for it.
Also there are plenty of couples out there on the swinging scene, so your problem vanishes there.
Have fun, keep your commitments straight and it's a helluva ride. Call me up sometime if it works out(couldn't help it, your avatar turns me on)

Answer 2

There are more men then women on swinger sites because they think it's an easy way to get laid. The preception of swingers from outside the lifestyle is that it is a 24/7 orgy and that swingers will have sex with anyone. These guys (many married posing as single) think it's an easy way to get some without the hassles of a relationship.

There just aren't as many women looking to just get laid and nothing else. And the single bi-female looking for a threesome is very few and far between. We call them "unicorns" because they are about as common to find. LOL

If you want it to be more even consider swinging with couples. We started that way and over the years have had single males and females, too.

Most of all, have fun and don't take it too seriously. ;-)

Answer 3

You have to pursue it as far as you're comfortable -- and that may take time to get into the swing of things, tee hee.

One question for me is -- how would doing it for real compare to the fantasy? It's pretty hot to talk dirty to each other about all the things we might get up to with different people, but could actually doing it be so intense?

Typically single men are not welcome in the swinger community (of course there are exceptions) and couples typically gravitate towards other couples or adding a single woman. I think this speaks to the notion that women are usually more comfortable exploring their bi-sexuality than guys are. The single men you see on the sights are probably just guys wanting to get some no matter where it comes from (i.e. the relationship status of the women being pursued).

I'd say go for it, but apply your own sense of caution as you see fit. The people going on about monogomy in here all have hang-ups of their own -- if you can liberate yourself from that and be happy then more power to you -- you're forging the way of the future. Good luck!

Answer 4

Men usually are more open to multiple sex partners. They do not equate sex with committment. And they aren't as insecure in their appearance. Women on the other hand, are insecure when confronted with a "prettier" female, especially in the nude. They fret, "will he like her better?"..."will I lose him?"...etc. When in a relationship, most women are committed to just him. Yes, having more men than women would be a benefit to you if you want to be a swinger. Your partner would be able to find a female if you check the balance in each "gathering" situation. I am not a swinger and therefore not an expert in any way, but I am a nurse that have a counseling background so I relied on that to answer your question.

Answer 5

Been there done that. What I have found is that actual swingers clubs are different than websites. Websites allow anyone to sign up so they can collect a fee. But most clubs either restrict the number of single people (one single male for every single female) or they only allow couples to join. Also, the singles have to be "sponsored" by a couple or in other words, they have to know someone who is willing to vouch for their character.

Swinging can be a wonderfully erotic experience. It is not for everyone, but for a couple that is secure in their relationship with one another and communicates openly about their limits, it can be a wonderful experience and something that you will want to experience with greater frequency.

While there are going to be people that suggest that it resulted in a failed relationship for them, all I can say is that their relationship probably wasn't that strong to begin with. The key is trust and communication. If you are open to the idea it can be wonderful for both you and your lover. So, I suggest you go for it!

Answer 6

Sexual behavior is a reflection of human nature, and the desire to procreate.

There are two types of people in this field.
Type A will try to have sex with as many people as possible, to ensure as many births as possible, in order to ensure the survival of the species.

Type B will try to pair bond, choosing an exclusive partner to raise their children with, ensuring the survival of their clan/pack, and therefore their species.

Both methods are successful in evolution. However, you will find that more men are Type A, and more women are Type B, although men and women are not exclusive to either category.

Of course, these are simply instincts. People who utilize their intelligence to overcome their instincts can choose to belong to another category. Thus, even a "player" can be "tamed."

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that you must have a very very trusting relationship with your partner in order for a swinger lifestyle to be successful. You must clearly communicate your boundaries, and respect eachother's wishes. If either of you can't agree on all counts, your attempts will fail.

Answer 7

first, there are more men than women because men more actively persue strictly sex based relationships.
as for the lifestyle... here are my thoughts... if you are curious, it's ok to experiment... be cautious and be careful... keep an open mind and open eyes. and always practice safer sex. most people I've met are just honest, everyday people trying to fulfill a need. many are like me... after getting burned by 2 failed marriages... have given up on love and just want sex and are done with the whole courting/relationship thing... others are couples who just want variety in thier sex life and are comfortable with the arrangement as long as both are sharing the company of others together... good luck... who knows, maybe our paths will one day cross.

Answer 8

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for years. We have found it is better to go to clubs that require couples, or at least no men that come alone. This keeps all the single guys looking for women out. It also helps keep the women from being out numbered and overwhelmed.

Answer 9

There are more men in the lifestyle because there are lots of men who are just trying to get laid any way they can, so they join up with these groups.

Fortunately, the better groups are very selective and restrictive in allowing un-coupled men to join; they usually require them to be sponsored by a couple or female.

Answer 10

Only works with a lot of communication between the partners. More guys, because it is a lot easier for woman to find partners than guys!! Good luck!