Had a few Q's already today and the answers compel me to try and figure out WTF is going on w/ my gf. No need to worry bout the details, but she says I deserve someone better than her and gives me the sad look when she says it, but then tells me she can't even begin to tell me how much she loves me. How do I convince her that I want her to be honest w/ me, that if she loves me but "not that way" I want her to just tell me so? I am so confused! we go out (sometimes!) and flirt like crazy w/ each other still, but the only real emptions she ever shows is this crap about how I should be w/ someone better than her. Isn't that selfish? That is my decision to make for me.
2006-10-27 04:29:18 · 32 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Simple.. she has low self-esteem.. she might feel al ittle under you... she loves you.. yeah she does.. but maybe she messes up sometimes and she might feel you are a good person and that someone out there is probably better than her.
It is sort of a mind game too cause maybe she wants to hear it form you that she is what you want and that you love her.. maybe it's wa y to ask for a compliment.. the best thing you can do is really start comforting her.. tell her how much you appreciate her and tell her how great she is ( if she is these things).. let her know that you dont think there is anyone better than her for you and that right now you want her with you..
it's a mind game.. women are like that and it's really up to you to either cater to this or to leave her and find a women that is a little more stronger and wont make you feel so bad.. you knwo what i mean? i;m not trying to be harsh.. but I am a woman and i know how we are..
i love the fact that she loves you and that she thinks you are so great.. but she needs to work on building up that confidence cause in the long run.. that is gona cause YOU problems... :)
2006-10-27 04:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like I always say, there is ALWAYS more to the story.
She may sincerely think you may need someone better than her. Maybe she doesn't feel she's treating you right (this could mean ANYTHING) - and since you're typically a super-nice guy to her, she'd rather see you whole and completely happy with someone else.
I believe that she'll HAVE to come forward and be honest with you. If you break it off now, you're going to continue having guessing games, wondering WHY the HECK she kept saying you deserved somebody better.
There is definitely a reason for her feelings. She loves you, but maybe doesn't want to hurt you. Maybe this is not the right time in her life to be with you (and she cannot give you her all). It could definitely be a series of things, but let's not jump to conclusions without finding out the real facts first.
Talk to her. Tell her to be honest - it'll mean more to you in the long-run instead of trying to figure it out for yourself.
2006-10-27 04:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be one of two things...
A) She's extremely depressed and feels she's unworthy of you or
B) She wants to be with someone else.
I don't know her so I won't jump to any conclusions but those are pretty much the only things that could be going on. You have to help her and remind her that you're with her because she's an amazing person, she's beatiful, and you love her, ect. OR she has gotta grow some b*lls and be straight with you. Either way you two need to sit down and have a long talk, regardless of the outcome, because it's better to know now then find out later when emotions will be stronger.
2006-10-27 04:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by IceyFlame 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think she did something that is making her feel guilty, like cheat somehow? I think you should just sit her down for a true heart to heart. Pour your heart out to her and make her feel good enough. Sometimes we women, when we have been with a man for a while, get the feeling that our man is starting to get bored and that we dont satisfy him enough, therefore we think we are no longer good enough. We are emotional roller costers k! and men arent so when you arent showing affection she feels its her fault and she doesnt feel good enough for you at the time thats why she says you deserve someone better. The best thing to do is sit down together and tell eachother how much you love one another and why and so on, then ahve really great sex. Ha! Good Luck
2006-10-27 04:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by raylenejade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh this sounds like classic "I need attention". You know how some people will say things like "ugh my hair looks awful today" and then you jump up and give them all kinds of compliments trying to make them feel better. She is probably insecure and looking for a strong validation from you. I honestly think that these kinds of people are looking for us to make them feel better because they don't feel good about themselves. I would point out little things to her daily. Tell her how beautiful her smile is. Let her know that when she walks into the room, it brightens up your day. Saying small phrases that are positive throughout the day will give her the validations she is looking for without having to deal with the "oh i don't deserve you" crap. Good luck!
2006-10-27 04:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of things leap to mind.
First she is perhaps trying to be the poor little girl that just want to hear you love her. This is something that is for me like the nails on the blackboard thing.
Second is she isn't sure of herself enough to be up front w/you about the relationship and is looking for acceptance.
I wouldn't tolerate the whole thing but that's just me.
She may not be able to be honest w/you because she hasn't been honest w/herself.
2006-10-27 04:33:51 · answer #6 · answered by sideways 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has esteem issues and needs to hear it from you that she is everything you want.
It's a mind game to try and get you to constantly convince her of something she already knows.
Assure her that you love her, but let her know that you are turned off when she puts herself down. If she keeps it up, you may have to drop a hint that perhaps you do deserve someone who thinks better of herself.
If that doesn't stop her from beating herself down, then you really do deserve someone better.
2006-10-27 04:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right, tell her to be honest with you. although it sounds like she does really like you (not in an 'i love you' way) but is just having a hard time telling you the truth. if thats the case and if you are strong enough, tell her that you think you two should break up. this way, you wont be wondering about it and causing you all sorts of pain. if she cant be honest with you, shes definitely being selfish and thats not ok. good luck.
2006-10-27 04:32:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to listen to her be with someone else. Her confidence is very low for what reason I dont know but that does feel like shitt when they say stuff like that she needs to stop and know your with here because well you have your reasons. Maybe she wants you to feel sorry for her or just likes the attention you give her when she says that. Sounds childish to me I wouldnt take it tell her its a turn off.
2006-10-27 04:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by D'oh! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's someone else, she's not sure of whether or not she really wants to be with you, or she really think that she's not good enough for you, or she did something or someone and she doesn't want to cause you any unneecessary hurt. Either way, what she says really is selfish, and it is your decision.
2006-10-27 04:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by Cathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋