When we met (in a bar, where I was sitting there smoking) he said it wasn't a big deal to him that I smoked and he didn't. For the first few weeks, he didn't say anything about it. I never smoked in his house, or allowed smoke to blow in his face, or smoked in close quarters, etc., because I have respect for his airspace. But nowadays, all he does is NAG me about smoking, is always checking to see how many cigarettes I have smoked in a day, tells me that all the money I "blow" on cigarettes could be used for something "important", etc. I'm getting tired of it! I don't want to quit and have told him this many times. He keeps saying that I don't have to quit, yet, every time I light up, he says something mean or rolls his eyes, etc. It's really starting to cause problems for us, and I don't know what to do. I love him, but I like my cigarettes, and don't feel like I should have to put up with this, especially since he initially said he was okay with it.
2006-10-27 04:27:32 · 8 answers · asked by south_san_chica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
AND I AM TALKING ABOUT CIGARETTES HERE......I DON'T SMOKE ANYTHING ELSE!
2006-10-27 04:32:04 · update #1
Absolutely. It sounds like he is just worried about you but you need to let him know that IF and WHEN you are ready to quit...you will. Good Luck.
2006-10-27 04:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a good conversation about it, and tell him how you feel, and tell him your not choosing between cigs and him. Ask him why all of a sudden hes having issues with it. If he has any habits u dont like but you dont say anything about tell him of them and tell him that your being respectful in not harassing him because of them. I mean Im all for good communication and where-ever a problem or disagreement arises i sit and think logically about the situation and talk with my partnet ( if i had one :P ) but ya,....no hes gotta realize that him naggin you is only gunna push u away and possibly cause the relationship to end. Its your life, you live such as you choose. Im a smoker too, and i wont quit for anyone but myself. I enjoy smoking, it gives me re-assurance that im still breathing LOL:P Best of long, sorry answer is so long hope it helps.
2006-10-27 04:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by shortie_49 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a smoker too and although we all need to quit for obvious health reason's, some of us either can't or aren't ready. I honestly think that he believes he can't badger you enough that you'll finally get tired of it and throw your hands up and say, enough, I'll quit already!...If the guy truly likes you and wants what's best, he wont give up. I can't say I'd know exactly how to handle the problem, but, my brother-N-law did the same thing with his ex's, notice I said ex'S...he didn't smoke, they did......
2006-10-27 04:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by sred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not fair in the respect that he knew going in. I used to smoke and am so glad I gave it up and would not date a smoker. You should try to quit and not give up quitting but noone is going to 'get' you to quit. You gotta snuff it out on your own and perhaps a doc's assist. good luck. ps. Ladies do you know what dries out when you smoke? Think about it.
2006-10-27 04:33:45 · answer #4 · answered by donewithyahooanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it completely unfair of him to complain about a lifestyle choice that you have made and enjoy. He knew you were a smoker comming into the relationship. In fact he needs to respect you for smoking. He needs to be a gentleman and light your cigarettes for you. he needs to buy you nice lighters and ash trays and even folk up that spare change of his to pay for your cigarettes. Men need to grow up and start respecting women;s choices more.
2006-10-30 03:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by marlboro_100s_man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, whatever a person brings into a relationship is allowed to stay. You can't blame him for caring about your health, however, he should allow you to do as you wish. If you really do not want to quit, tell him you will not tolerate being nagged about it. Period.
2006-10-27 04:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by Dasher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe he initially said it knowing that you would quit smoking by yourself in the long run. Talk to him and see what really bothers him and maybe you two can come up with a compromise.
2006-10-27 04:51:39 · answer #7 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he loves u gurl and he cares about ur health
2006-10-27 05:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by Tara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋