My boyfriend and I have discussed that he looking at porn on the computer really bothers me. He said he wouldn't do it anymore since it bothers me so much. But the thing is, I found out he's been doing it behind my back and acting like nothing is going on. SHould I just ignore it and realize that men will be men, or should I confront him about it which will end in a fight anyway? what should I do?
2006-10-27 03:54:17 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Confront him girl! Don't let him think you are stupid and don't know what he is doing! Then he will think he can get away with anything.
If he is sneaking behind your back with something like this what makes you think he wont sneak behind your back for something worse? I know guys shrug off porn like its natural but I cannot stand it. My husband used to do it. He denied it at first but then came clean. Said he would not do it anymore and then did it again. It was hell for a few days I was so mad! I haven't saw of any evidence since.
2006-10-27 03:59:43 · answer #1 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is irrelevant if looking at porn while in a committed relationship is right or wrong. The relevant point is that it makes you uncomfortable and he does it behind your back even though you've asked him to stop.
Here's your choice, you can either learn to live with the fact that he will do things that make you uncomfortable or you can confront him. The end result will be a fight either way, you just get to choose when you want to have the fight.
I vote that you confront him now. If he defends his actions and keeps doing them, then it's time for you to find another boyfriend. Asking your man not to look at porn is a reasonable request, and if he can't abide by this request then he might not be the man you need in your life.
2006-10-27 11:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by M.A.X. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should examine yourself first. Why are you bothered by him looking at porn? Are you so insecure about your own sexuality that you feel you have confine his thoughts to only you? A lot of women feel like you do and it has never made sense to the majority of males. I don't see anything wrong with loving a woman with all your heart and having an interest or hobby as well. Would it be alright for him to take away something that you enjoyed in exchange for him giving up something?
2006-10-27 11:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men will be men. Personally I know that you cannot change someone. If you try...it might have an outcome for the worst. I was a little insecure about this issue also, but have learned that it is their human nature to look. I am no longer bothered by it and sometimes take a peek myself. There's no shame...we are all a little hormonal at times. Also...sometimes when you tell someone not to do something is when they will want to do it more. Hope this helps.
2006-10-27 11:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by tiffwadd77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask yourself why does it bother you? Does it bother you just becuase you don't think he should look at it? Or are you not getting enough attention from him?
Men usually look at porn to fulfill their sexual desires that they are not getting in real life. He might be ashamed that he wants to do certain sexual things and won't tell you about it. Do you guys have sex? If so, is it good? are you both satisfied. A lot of guys have extreme sex drives and would be happy getting off 3 times a day. But they know that, that is too much to ask. If you really want him to stop watching porn, you have to be ready to help him with his sexual urges. He is a human being first and boyfriend second.
Porn is only 'wrong' if you choose it to be wrong, or it keeps you from having a healthy sexual relationship with your partner.
Email me through my profile if you want to discuss it further.
2006-10-27 11:06:37 · answer #5 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the porn may bother you. There's no woman that it wouldn't bother. But if you are confident in the relationship, let him have his little fanasty moments. It's just a fantasy. Men are more visual minded. And to be honest with you, I am in a relationship with a man that looks at it. He don't know I know, but I don't sweat it now b/c I know he's not out cheating and our relationship is great. If I don't make it an issue then, he seems to appreciate me more. Pick your battles.
2006-10-30 21:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by ms_kiki00 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most men are just in the habit of looking at porn...and it's a hard habit to break. Trust me, though, 90% of the time it's got nothing to do with the girlfriend/wife. Try not to get so bent out of shape about it...it's not personal. What I would have an issue with is his lying about it, though. He shouldn't tell you he's going to stop if he doesn't plan on stopping...but he's probably trying to spare your feelings.
2006-10-27 11:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the exact same problem with my boyfriend! Believe it or not, I've told yahoo answers about this too. Just sit down and talk to him and explain how much tit bothers you and why. If he really loves you, you will be all he needs to look at. If he continues to do it and you cant handle it anymore then leave him. After I explained to my boyfriend how much it bothers me and why, he hasnt done it since. And you better belive that i will leave him the minute he does it again.
2006-10-27 10:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by Candace T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop complaining about porn. I like porn my guy likes it and I dont mind I use it to my advantage like for positions and clothing its fun. Think about it his not sleeping with this girls thats when you worry your guy will appreciate you more if you dont worry about it. Theres other things in the world to worry about. I use to hate it but now I realized I was the problem not porn had the wrong idea of it. Just be with him and not against.
2006-10-27 11:02:03 · answer #9 · answered by D'oh! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop being a control freak and let him do what he wants with some boundaries. He is not cheating on you, right?
Porn made for guys to look at. Nothing wrong with that, as long as he is an adult.
2006-10-27 10:57:10 · answer #10 · answered by Michael R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋