I'm not talking about situations where a woman stays with a guy who she's physically afraid to leave. I'm talking about guys who have the girlfriend that treats the guy like garbage until she wants something or the girl that has the boyfriend that cheats that she always takes back. Do these people have it coming?
2006-10-27 03:29:23 · 14 answers · asked by Chris D 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think they deserve it but I do think that THEY think they deserve it. That is to say that they likely don't think they can "do any better" or else they'd make the changes to either end the relationship or not allow themselves to be taken advantage of. My hubby, way back before i knew him, had a long term girlfriend that seemed to use him for money. He's very generous and his "love language" is gifts. She took advantage of that. I don't think he deserved it, he's a bold strong man who can make sure he gets what he wants. But I do think at that point in his life, dating was new to him and he just thought this is how things were. As he grew, and as he heard feedback from his guy friends, he realized this is NOT how it's meant to be and he ended it. Now he's learned from it and he made sure to find someone who wasn't greedy or mean and who laughed at his jokes (ME!!). Hope that big long answer helped.
2006-10-27 03:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by mamatoshreksboys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can actually talk a lot about this subject. My husband didn't actually make me fear for my life... and now that I'm out and have been out for a good long while. I can't really think why I stayed.
I hated what he did to me. And I admit I've always had a low self esteem. I thought I loved him. I didn't know any other kind of love. I grew up in an abusive family. Everyone in my house was treated badly. I didn't know any different.
I never liked it. I never -wanted- it... I even tried to get help, to get someone to help me make him leave. Nobody would help me. Not the police, not the shelter I went to.
He would actually hold me down and force himself on me. Bruising my wrists and ankles. Then when I felt dirty and just wanted to go boil my skin off in the tub, he'd sit outside the door and taunt me through it, torment me about feeling dirty. About how... I was his. That I'd said yes any time he wanted it when I said 'I do'.
I can't honestly explain why I kept staying. Mostly because I couldn't get the help and support I needed to leave. Because I felt like I loved him. I wanted our marriage to work. I believed in my wedding vows. I didn't believe they should be broken.
Perhaps it was stupid of me. And I know it was. I often think how crazy I was to stay with him as long as I did (Only like 14 months, but still... that's a long time to put up with such treatment.)
Each person is different. They love the person and don't want the pain of leaving. Or they're afraid. Or they don't think that they can do any better. For me it was that I felt I loved him, he was my first and only lover... and we were married. All things that I took very seriously. And clearly things he didn't.
So it all just depends and no. Nobody ever deserves that sort of treatment from anyone.
2006-10-27 05:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by Erin R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been married for almost 22 years have two girls with her. theres been issuses that I hope can be forgotten. I did not stay for lack of choices, or my poor self esteem. I stayed at first for the simple fact that I truly did love her five years down the road the children and I are doing ok but the family has and still helps mom the changes that we have seen time and time again and tomorrow she is her prideful,non-caring looking for a disagreement self,which the girls and myself learned awhile back,that well we all do wrong everybody we put our time and efferts into helping the best we know and live our lives nobody ever deserves to give or receive physical or mental violence my love and pain go out to all you ladies dealing with your man that has this behavior.its not you they need help it gets worse and worse they love to inflict pain it seems to cost them little get them help but most of all protect you and yours there are people out here that care we always have love bcc
2015-06-11 19:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by paul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO !!! I'm sorry because every time they mistreat them they they are taking away from there selves (Low Self esteem) the person who stays is sick and doesn't know any other way and that's why they stay it's routine for them.They will leave when they are feed up and not a moment sooner.
2006-10-27 03:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by gail w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No no no... There are relationships the place the girls handle the adult males thoroughly effective and popular and regrettably caught themselves to a valueless guy. i'm no longer asserting one hundred% in each case the female is often the sufferer, notwithstanding it quite is real those issues ensue in lots of circumstances from undesirable adult males and the female did no longer do something. >_>
2016-10-16 11:20:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a confidence thing, combined with security...
i'll start with the security...
if partner 1, abbuses partner 2, and partner 2 doesn't leave... it may be that partner 2 see's it as he know's that no one else will take it, so partner 1 will never leave...
the confidence thing is that the one being abbused, may think they deserve it, or that no one else will care for them... (I refuse to believe there is any love at all from an abbuser, lust, sure, but never, ever, any love)
2006-10-27 03:38:05 · answer #6 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends, the person who stays could have some self esteem issues, they could believe that the crappy person is the only one who will love them (no matter how pathetic the love is).
I dont think they have whatever coming to them.. I think they need some counceling.
2006-10-27 03:33:28 · answer #7 · answered by billiecep2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say in a way no because no one deserves to be treated badly. But in a way yes because when is enough, enough?
2006-10-27 03:31:36 · answer #8 · answered by trinam04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no everybody deserve to be treated with love and respect, and also how they want to be treated in a relationship
2006-10-27 03:34:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, they always want something they can't have.......You know Evanescence? "You only want it cuz it's over".....they know it's over deep down (obviously, someone cheated and how could yo love someone that cheated on you?) It's like a challenge...
2006-10-27 03:32:16 · answer #10 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋