has anyone been realy lost, lonley and sad after loosing their mother or father?

Question

i lost my daddy 1 yr ago he raised me all my life. i had some troubled teenage years and we got through that. then in 2000, i moved out with my 3 year old at the time, and started my life with my current husband, i only moved across town but we had more children and i didnt see my father as much as i wish now that i would have. he had some drinking problems in the past and was sober for 10 years. he was a vietnam vet so he definatley had the p/t/s/d and when i moved out at some point he began drinking again very heavily! he was taking care of his mother there and the pressure was getting to him! i did not have any idea that he was destroying his body. one day my grandmother called me and said that he was sick and couldnt get out of bed i rushed over and called 911. the doctor at the hospital told me that he would not leave the hospital alive i lost my mind that day. 2 weeks he hung on with vigorous treatment. he passed away 2 min before i got to his room and i lost my world that day!!!

Answer 1

You must be strong, Your father is at peace! to ease your mind, God knows best, your dad is not suffering, he is in no pain, no more sorrow. Remember the good times that you had, and that is what you need to think about, make a scrap book, of your father's things, when you are feeling lonely, and sad, bring it out, share it with your children. this helps you to heal, but it takes time. When my Mom died, someone, said to me, God has a job for your Mom to do. and you do not know how this made me feel. So just hang in their, enjoy Grand-Mom, while you can.

Answer 2

I can completely relate to what you are saying. I lost my father when I was 23, he was only 51. I was on a trip a the time, I was a flight attendant, always out of town. I called the night before to see how he was doing and got no answer, panic set in, stayed awake all night and called again, still no answer. Now it was time to take my trip home, arrived at 10 o'clock only to be met by my husband and brother. My father had passed while I was gone, also. I lost my entire world that day just like you, but let me tell you something. You will once again think of him and remember the good times, and how much he brought to your life. I know now when you think of him you have only pain and tears. Time will heal this. I still miss my father every day, but I can now speak of him without breaking down. My best for you and your family. He knew how much you loved him.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's very normal to feel the way you do after losing a parent, so don't feel like you're abnormal in any way, because this is so very typical. You probably need to get some grief counseling though, you sound like you might even be depressed, which is normal. There are also support groups for people who have recently lost family members as well. Just try to remember the good things about your dad (and you will) and remember he wants you to have a good life, and to be happy. So try to make yourself happy and live a happy life. That way you'll be honoring your father's memory. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

I lost my mother and grandfather in the same year three months apart.I do know how you feel often when some one really close to use dies we begin to wish we would have seen a lot more of them been a better child or teenager .there is nothing that will make you forget what has happened its been 9years for me and every day i still feel that one day my mother is gonna walk in my door and tell me i was just having a nightmare .but the reality is its never gonna happen i have as well as you learn how to move on in some way .especially for your kid or kids .....i know its hard trust me i know it dose ease a little after time but its always playing in the back of your mind ..........just know that hes in a better place now where he doesn't hurt ............my mother died of a brain tumor that was the most agonizing thing to watch i am so sure that where ever she may be now as well as my grandpa and your father there in no more pain and in good hands .......................and don't worry about you not being by his side he most likely wanted you to remember him in his former state the best thing you did for him is to be his child and to a parent you know that no matter how bad our kids can be there still our babies and we will for ever love them you are no exception you are no exception may god bless you and stay strong .........

Answer 5

Not quite as much as you. But I think it is quite common to experience lonliness and guilt for a long time. When my mom passed away several years ago; I felt guilty for a long time for not going to see her sooner when she was sick. And then I did think about her for a long time and still once in a while think of her. My wife was very close to her grandfather and he died over twenty years ago; but she still grieves at times over the loss. So, yes it's natural to have the feelings you have. Sharing and talking with people who understand and care is a good way of dealing with the feelings. Remembering and treasuring the good times you had with your dad and the good traits about your dad are also things to think about. My dad was a vietnam vet too. I'm proud to say I had a dad who was a soldier and defender of freedom.

Answer 6

i can understand wat ur feelin rite now.i went thru the same depression and am still tryin to recover.i lost my grandpa 4 yrs bak and he meant the world to me.many ppl arent that close to their grandparents so my friend didnt really understand me coz they thought that im takin it too hard.but we were so close to each other.we sent cards,talked on the phone.he was a gr8 grand father.we even used to go shoppin together.he used to cook my fav meals. he used to arrange my birthday party every year.he was an amazin gandpa.i still miss him so much.he passed away jus 5 mins b4 i got to the hospital.i felt as if the whole world around me had collapsed.no words can express how depress i was and i still am at time.but now i pray for him every day.i visist his grave and talk to him.i remeber all hius advices and help my grandma.all these things make me feel good and i feel close to him.i hope you'll start feelin better soon.r prayers now will be r sign of affection now.so pray for ur dad.may god bless his soul and may he rest in peace.amen.u tc and we all have to go 1 day.this is the way worls works.i know this is v hard but try to do things that ur father wud have loved to see u doin.make him proud of u.:)

Answer 7

i feel the same when i lost my father 6 years ago. we been through a lot in life. he worked so hard to make our life better but not successful enough, i pity him but can do nothing because that time i'm only a kid. try to make my kids (4 of them) know their grandfather. all the picture and memory of him i show it to them. one thing that i cant accept till now is the way he died. i can't even type it here, so sad. as long as i can do the best in life i'm sure he will be more than happy. life goes on and i will always adore him, pray for him and remember him.

Answer 8

Yes , I know what you are going through. I lost my Mom 14 yrs ago. She died on my son's 5th b-day. But yes I felt very lonely for a long time. I still miss her with every day that passes, but as time goes by it gets easier. I feel for your loss and hope that with time your hurt will subside. What helped me deal with it better was I sat down and wrote my Mom a letter and believe it or not it helped a great deal to write out my feelings on paper. God Bless you and your family.

Answer 9

I totally feel you...my Dad had a lot of problems. He abandoned us when I was 10, I never saw him again....I next heard about him the day I got my college class ring....He was dead of a heart attack at 55....it been 10 years. I will always think of how much I will never know about him.

Here my advise: you need to speak to a counselor and move onto another stage of grief. You will always experience some level of grief but maybe not to intense....it take time to heal. Give yourself time and don't let the grief swallow you up. God bless.

Answer 10

i know what you are feeling i lost my father 13 years ago i cry almost everyday i was close to my dad he was my whole life i,am married but my husband tries to make up for my dad but he just can,t because i push him away i went for concealing but it didn,t help there is nothing noone can do it,s to help you i feel you have to grieve on your own that's the way i look at it i guess i miss my father dearlyif i only had one wish if i had to chose between money or my father it would be my father any time but i would wanted him to be the way he was before he even got sick