After my husband's attack on my grandson the other day (and after filing a report), my son has come to the conclusion he's unloved, nobody wants him, and he can't do anything for anyone. He even said this: "I feel like an idiot. He told me I deserved it, he's right. I deserved it; I deserved being kidnapped; maybe even being raped."
I don't know how to convince him it's not his fault anymore.
PLEASE help me...
2006-10-27 02:46:22 · 12 answers · asked by Lisa X 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Getting help from others is often the most important step a person can take to improve his or her self-esteem, but it can also be the most difficult. People with low self-esteem often don't ask for help because they feel they don't deserve it.Sometimes low self-esteem can feel so painful or difficult to overcome that the professional help of a therapist or counselor is needed.try talking with your Grandson more, give him a few tip's at making himself feel better, such as, keeping a small notebook with him and write down whenever someone give's him a compliment or something he has done that he is proud of.This will help to remind him that there are many things that he does that are worthwhile.also let him know that he need's to find a way to forgive himself for any past mistake's that he has/might of made,Healing can begin only with forgiveness.let your Grandson know that its truely okay to vent and let him know that your there for him to do that freely without any question's.try telling him a list of thing's you love about him,This can help him to start seeing himself positively through other people’s eyes.let him know that it's okay to reward himself for his accomplishments.tell him to take pride in what he does and to feel great about a job well done, maybe you could also try baking him some cookies... just because...Each of us has an inner voice we listen to.tell him to Listen to see whether his is telling him that he is a failure or a success.tell him to Write down something positive to say about himself,and each time he hear's his inner voice telling him that he is a failure,reread his statement and over time he will begin to change what his inncer voice says.help him take inventory of his character.Decide what parts of his character are noteworthy and which could use some improvement. Work to improve those, but don’t lose sight of those that are already developed.I hope that this help's you and your precious Grandson out...best wishes to you both...May God Bless You
2006-10-27 03:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by rebelicious_angel228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll need to avert his mind from the trouble he's seeing and accentuate what he likes. Then capitalize on that. Find some hobby that he likes. Learn what his interests are, certainly talking to your husband couldn't hurt. For his negative emotions show in his
grandson as well, and this is no good. Your husband needs to have a softer approach to how to handle things where as far as your grandson is concerned! Finally an apology form your husband would not hurt either.
2006-10-27 03:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by reds1051964 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he's been through a huge ordeal. It's hard to say how to boost someone esteem if you don't know all of the facts. My suggestion is to find a good counselor or have your local pastor talk with him. His issue may be too deep for you to deal with and lets face it he won't tell you everything, most likely.
I know it's hard to watch someone you love go through feelings of depression and lack of self value. Let him know he is loved no matter what and get him some help other than yourself. It's better to have someone who is removed from the situation talk with him.
I pray for peace in your home and in your family. God bless
2006-10-27 02:58:02 · answer #3 · answered by spirit filled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be around other people who can understand how he is feeling. Ask him if he would like to go to a support group or a therapist to talk about this. He needs help and you should be the one to get him that help. You can only do so much, but he needs someone who knows what he is feeling.
2006-10-27 02:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda SSS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those sound like the types of issues that need several years of professional help.
In the meantime, be twice as quick to hand out praise as you are to give criticism.
2006-10-27 02:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by lee_anne301 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he's wrong, that it was the husbands fault, he had the problem. not him. put him through counciling or something if he doesn't improve. these type of things can lead to drinking, cutting, drugs...stuff like that when he's older
2006-10-27 02:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take him out to have a good time, like a comidy movie. AND I DON'T MEAN ON A DATE, just to let u know.
2006-10-27 02:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by Stretch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before that you have to find out why he is using the word "raped".. go see a psyche to find that out. Dont try to find it yourself. you may make eveything worse..good luck
2006-10-27 03:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by cretanturk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL YOU CAN DO IS LOVE HIM AND HELP HIM REALIZE HOW WONDERFUL HE IS! COUNSELING WOULD HELP HIM ALOT ALSO!! YOU'VE ALSO GOT TO DEAL WITH YOUR HUSBAND!! IS HE AS BIG A JERK AS HE SOUNDS????????????? I HOPE YOU CAN KEEP GRANDSON FROM HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-27 02:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by mamaexfour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most likely hes looking for attention just talking to him should help.
2006-10-27 02:48:22 · answer #10 · answered by Ray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋