i receantly found in the kitchen cupboard a delia smith cook book and its the similar one to the my mum has lost and dont know how to ask my boyfriend if he nicked it out of my mums house he likes cooking u see but thing is the cook book is realy old and belonged to my gran who has passed away how do i ask him with out starting an arguenment i love him very much i dont think he knows i have spotted it plus my mum was telling me yesterday that she still doesnt know where that book has gone pleeeeeeeeeeze help.
2006-10-27 02:43:09 · 12 answers · asked by baby dust for me 5 in Food & Drink ➔ Cooking & Recipes
I would recommend just confronting him about the book. Obviously its very special and important to your mom, to her its not just a cook book. If it seems he gets offended or upset just try to explain to him that you just wanted to know because obviously your mom is devastated about losing the book. Just remember when you talk to him its not what you say its how you say it.
2006-10-27 02:47:42 · answer #1 · answered by h0n3y_l1ps_27 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not quite sure this is a cookery question. Is your boyfriend the type of person who would nick stuff? Does the book have any distinguishing features (inscriptions, handwritten bits, food stains etc) and if so, does the one he's got have those distinguishing features? If yes to both of the above, why don't you nick it back, give it back to your mother and dump him. If he's dishonest about something like that with you, you're only headed for heartbreak down the line. If he is a trustworthy person, ask him if he's borrowed the book from your mum, because it could be a misunderstanding.
2006-10-27 11:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Do nothing
2. Give to your mum - say to boyf that you found it in the house and forgot YOU must have borrowed it - but your mum has wanted to know where it was - so you gave it back
3. Ask boyfriend if book can be lent to your mum as she cannot find hers
4. See if there are any distinguishing marks / notes / scribbles / tears on the book that your mum could describe / recognise.
Various options really - but option 2 might be a way for mum to have book back, boyf not to lose face and for you not to have to put him on the spot. It DOES however leave a bit of a question on trust hanging around.
Mark
2006-10-27 10:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mark T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the book worth anything, do you honestly believe your boyfriend would steal a Delia Smith book. I know he likes cooking but he could buy the book himself or a better one. If you do think he has "stolen" it you can't accuse him of stealing just on the evidence he has the same book, I made that mistake once and trust me I won't make the same mistake again.
Instead what I would do is when you are with him, "find" the book and casually mention (in conversation) your Mum has the same book you can then go on to say she can not find hers. He might own up to borrowing it or it might be a coincidence. Tread carefully if you two are serious.
2006-10-27 09:55:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not give it to your mum and ask her if it's hers. You don't have to tell her you suspect your boyfriend nicked it.
Then, since you're getting rid of stuff, get rid of the boyfriend, too - the klepto! That is, unless, you want to take your children to visit him in prison on weekends and holidays.
If the guy can steal from your mum, he could steal from just about anybody - think about it! And something so trivial as a cookbook?
2006-10-27 09:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by NEWTOME 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go back to the kitchen cupboard while he's around, pretend as if you've seen it for the first time. Then, ask, "my mom would love this book, where did you get it?" Listen to what he has to say and see how he reacts. Well, if he says he's borrowing the book, then that's fine, you can always get it back later. Otherwise, if he said he bought it, tell him you would like to get one for your mom.
Good luck! :)
2006-10-27 10:14:19 · answer #6 · answered by j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much of a genius on this one but i think that what you should do is give the book back to your mam and your boyfriend asks where it is say that you don't know. And if later on in life you find out did he did take it you can use it s leverage over him (don't think of it as blackmail just as punishment)
2006-10-27 09:49:53 · answer #7 · answered by firestarter 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask him outright if the book was picked up by mistake or if he borrowed it for some reason and tell him it is important to your mother because it was your grandma's. Why would you want a boyfriend that would steal from your mother? If he did take it, he will probably lie but if he picked it up or borrowed it, he will say he did and return it to the rightful owner and apologize for borrowing it without asking. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
2006-10-27 09:58:45 · answer #8 · answered by Libragal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Confront him. He very well may like cooking but if this used to be your Grandmothers and is now your Mothers it will be yours one day and is classed as an hierloom as far as I'm concerned.
My Mother died a couple of years ago and I recieved hers and her Mothers cookbooks and recipes, they are like gold to me. This cookbook obviously means a lot to your Mum and you reallly should make an effort to get it back.
2006-10-27 10:06:32 · answer #9 · answered by Curious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just like he took i think you should take and give it back and he will ask you the same question where is his cook book,the rightful owner has it.
2006-10-27 09:46:55 · answer #10 · answered by tyrell w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋