Do you think my husband wants kids?

Question

My husband says he wants kids but then makes smart remarks about how aggravating they are & how much money they will cost. I am concerned & confused. Sometimes he says that he would love to have one right now (he even told his mom we would try in March) & that it probably wouldn't be bad to be a daddy but then at other times he is making those negative remarks & acting like he doesn't. He is very wishy washy. Is he just nervous & scared of becoming a father? Money shouldn't be a problem because we both make really good money & I work at home plus we have alot of money saved up for a house. I've been ready for about a year now but I'm waiting on him (I don't want to do this without him). We are saving for a house, which hopefully we will get this time next year so maybe he is stressed about that. I was thinking about asking him to let's try to conceive next year before we get the house since it takes 9 months to carry but he'll probably say let's wait. What do you think I should do?

I want to add that I am almost 27 & he is 31. We've been together for 8 years.

Answer 1

I would talk to him about it. You should both be on board before ttc. He might be torn right now because you are saving for a house.

In my opinion, I would buy the house first. The last thing you want to do is be trying to move and prepare a new house when you're pregnant. You'll be exhausted during your first and last trimesters. If you live in the USA, I just heard this morning that the national housing costs fell 9%. If you are going to buy a house, now is the time to do it. Although it's best to have 20% down, most lenders will approve you for little or no down. Also, if you were to purchase now, the money you would normally save each month could go towards the principle on your house, which would allow you to build equity faster. Once your equity reaches 20%, you can drop the PMI insurance.

Some men will never admit they're ready 100% for a baby, especially if they've never had one. But unless they're 100% against having children, then most likely they will be as excited as you are once you find your pregnant. Since your hubby has mentioned that he wants children, I'm sure he does. Other people's children will always drive you crazy.

In the meantime, start taking prenatal vitamins and eating healthy and exercising - if you don't already. It will make ttc much easier.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I think that He is "a little scared" of the whole process.
Even though you say that both of you have good jobs, and are trying to save for a "down-payment" on a house, He is worried about the cost for your home, prenatal care for you & the Baby (Doctor & Hospital), along with everything else (Diapers, Bed, Clothes, Formula, Etc. Etc).
From a Man's point also: He could be "petrified"-
(scared-sh*t-less) of you having problems during pregnancy, and worried that He could "Loose" you during the pregnancy!!
I think that He does LOVE you, and He is affraid of not having you with Him, for the rest of His life....
Your income will be "cut in half" for at least the first six weeks, after you deliver, so money will be "tight."
Sit down with Him and talk to Him about all of this; don't be angry, impatient, or self-centered with your feelings. Be honest and caring while you state your feelings, then listen to His. Encourage Him that "No Matter" what ya'll decide to do; ya'll will do it together!!
When He sees you being a "strong" Wife and acting like a Loving Mother (use Him for pratice). He will feel more secure, and encouraged to becoming a Father, because you are making His home feel safe, and secure.
Don't all Mothers make us feel safe, secure, and Loved??
Good Luck! Be Patient...

Answer 3

He sounds scared to me, which is normal. But, I do recommend that you get your house and get all moved in because it is really hard to move while you are pregnant or when you have a small child.

I moved into our new home when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. My entire family had to come move me and I couldn't lift anything. A year later, I was still calling people to ask them where they put stuff.

If you are saving money for the house, make sure you use it for the house. Babies cost money, too. Just make sure that you can do both in a very short time if you decide to try for both next year.

Answer 4

This is too important of an issue to guess at what he really wants. So I would recommend you actually sit down with him in a serious setting and discuss it with him. Guys will do that - make jokes about how terrible kids can be and how kids change your life so much (for the worse) but they don't really know what.

If you look at most men, there was always a time when they NEVER thought they'd want to have kids. They wanted to live their "free" lives and enjoy themselves without the "burden" of kids.

So just talk to him. I don't know if you just coming out and saying that you would like to try for a child and when would be the best approach. I think telling him that it has been on your mind and it is important to you to know exactly how he really feels would be best. Let him know that having a child has been on your mind, you have been anxious to start a family but you want to know if he is on board with the idea.

Answer 5

my opinon, I think he wants a child but at the same time he is scared. instead of saving up money for a house but have a baby right now doesn't make sense. i think you should wait until you GET the house and is settled in first then think about having a child. don't rush it. you want to make sure you both have everything in order and if you both are going to be able to get a house if you have the baby first.it cost MONEY to have kids. I would rather have a settled place to stay first then have children so that they can have a nice place to live.

Answer 6

What is your query?! And did you now not speak about whether or not or now not you desired youngsters earlier than you bought married? Would were shrewd... Sounds such as you have to sit down down together with your husband and determine whether or not there may be any method you'll percentage the equal imaginative and prescient for the long run, in any other case one in all you goes to be very unsatisfied. Good good fortune!

Answer 7

His negative comments are probably due to fear. A lot of men act that way. He might need you to take the initiative on this. Planning a pregnancy is wonderful but letting it happen is such an awsome surprise. I ended up doing this for the same reasons and my husband has never been happier. We just had our second child and he changes more dirty diapers than I do. He now laughs at the negative comments he used to make.

Answer 8

I am not sure how old he is..kids change everything because you go from thinking of just yourself and your spouse...and now everything revolves around the child. You have to be completely selfless to have a child. I question it myself and I am a woman. My husband wanted kids so badly but he is changing his tune a little too. We are learning how to take care of ourselves, a house, cooking, cleaning etc. I think we need to mature enough to be able to give 100% to a child. I think you and your husband should wait if he is on the fence about it. Give it time and discuss it in depth. I have been told "there never will be a perfect time to have kids" but you will find the right time. We will too.

Answer 9

The answer is simple.

You need to talk to him and get a straight answer from him instead of trying to decipher his unclear messages. No one can answer your question but him.

Answer 10

You can read my answer to the first time you asked this question.