I have been in this wonderful relationship for a while and my son is really disrespectful. My boyfreind gets really upset with it but says nothing and doesn't want to be made out to be the bad guy,which I would never do. Should I tell him he can put his comments in and I won't say anything or do I continue to try to fix it on my own? I really don't want to lose him but in a previous relationship he went through hell. I don't want to put him throught that. I would be devistated if I lost him after being reunited after 20 years. Don't know where to turn or what to do. Just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-27 02:22:19 · 15 answers · asked by Bella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My son is 13 and he does have a relationship with his dad. My b/f wants the disrespect towards me to stop. My son treats me like his father did with the disrespect.
2006-10-27 02:28:15 · update #1
Sending my son to live with his father puts him in a potentially bad situation with my exs' psyco girlfreind whom doesn't want to share him with his kids. They live together.
2006-10-27 03:56:57 · update #2
How old is your son? Have you spoken to him about his feelings towards your new bf? Does your son still have a relationship with his Dad? Does your son hope that you & Dad will reunite and sees the bf as getting in the way of that?
You need to work this out with your son. It really has nothing to do with your bf and you shouldn't put the pressure on him to "fix" things with your son.
2006-10-27 02:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bella ,
Either way sounds like your son could be a bit jealous of the attention or protective of you. If its the time you spent with your man ...time and including him should fix (smooth over) the attention issue.....Try to have the man in your life be a friend and never a parental unit ... at first any way...get your son used to the idea of a "Co-Pilot" in your life .....
Now sit your butt down and talk with him ....sometimes emotions make it hard to see the forest because there are too many damn trees in the way. Your son may see something in this man your missing ... a potential for issues your not seeing ... it may be while you were in a line facing forward your guy was checking out a near by lady and your son caught it ..... ya never know ... but he may be more mature than you think, and he's just watching out for you!
Food for thought any how.
Conversation, dialog ...meaningful ... thats your only option other then selling both of them on E-Bay...
Remember this ... if it has tires or testicles it will give you issues!!
Good Luck !
2006-10-27 09:34:33 · answer #2 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try sitting down with your son, I know this is easier said then done I have a 13 yr old, a 16 yr old, and a 6 yr old daughter...so believe me when i say i know how hard this is...anyways try talking with your son let him know that he has no right treating you this way...also another thing that works on mine is, stop doing thing's for him...if he ask for money to go hang out tell him no, if he has something that he really enjoys doing take it away and keep your word...let him know that you are his mother and you will not put up with the way he is treating you.as far as letting your boyfriend speak his mind...well let him do it....it might make him feel better, and your son might then begin to realize that you two are not gonna put up with his BS....He is getting by with it now because your boyfriend isn't saying anything and isn't taking up for you let your son know that your boyfriend isn't in your life to try and take the place of his birth father...sounds like his real father is a real jerk....if you and your ex can talk and be adults try calling him...and letting him know that something has to be done about the way your son treats you...if you can't talk to your ex for whatever reason, maybe you could try getting your son into some counseling....best wishes dear
2006-10-27 09:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by rebelicious_angel228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with that kid and give him an ultimatum and stick to it.
Disrespect towards you shouldn't have been tolerated by you in the first place, and now you have to try to break years of bad habits.
Your boyfriend has nothing to do with it.
Don't take any disrespect from your child - it's your house and your rules, and your new life with your boyfriend. If he has a problem with any of those he needs to go live with his Dad or someone else or he can be grounded from now until he's 18 and then kick him out !
If he gets out of hand - call his bluff and have him put in a detention center for awhile, but either way, put on your asss kicking boots and lay down the line in the sand !!!!
2006-10-27 09:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by jarhed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your son? If he is fairly young and not a teenager it could sort of be a anger thing that he sees your boyfriend as trying to replace his dad. You never did mention if your son's father was invovled in his life. That always plays a major factor in it! Age is also another factor in it, I know when I was a teenager and my mom starting dating her now current husband I hate his guts and would be rude and do stupid stuff just to try and piss him off, but it never worked and he truly turned out to be a great guy! The thing should be if your boyfriend is anything of a man and wants to truly be with you for you and all of your problems he'll try and understand where your son is coming from too.
2006-10-27 09:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by Goddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the boy friend your feelings about the whole situation. Tell your son (you do not say age) where his place is and what his options are. Then depending on his choice give him the consequence. Send the boy to his father for awhile or better yet just somewhere he will not like so that he may realize how well he has it at home.
2006-10-27 09:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a prime example of why ppl should get out of bad relationships immediately; children learn from parents and think that their behavior towards the opposite sex is right.
Get to the root of the problem, your son may need counseling to help him deal with the problems he's facing.
Stop worrying about losing your b/f and get your son some help before you lose him.
2006-10-27 10:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
goodness thats a big one! i by far know it all but i think that after trying so long to fix things on your own you should try something new since your ways not working.first try praying if you don't and let the boyfriend help in trying to fix the problem it's not fair on him not to be able to and it will in the long run put a big strain on your relationship.it would be better for the child to see you both working to gether and in agreement when it comes to making him mine. every child should know thier role for you are the parent and he is the WHAT?
2006-10-27 09:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by BALEY B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit your son down and tell him to his face that you will not be treated like that by anyone. Set ground rules, be consistent, and follow thru. If you give in even on the smallest things, he will walk all over you. Tell him you deserve to be happy too.
2006-10-27 09:35:27 · answer #9 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should send your son to your ex ,so that they both can show each other disrespect is to each other, why do you want to live like this
2006-10-27 10:54:05 · answer #10 · answered by mrseahorse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋