My boyfriend and I decided that the relationship was a little too stifling-- we spend alot of time wasting time doing nothing, sitting around "just hanging" and feeling that we're not connecting with our other friends enough. We decided to not break up or take a break... but to go into the day looking for opportunities to strengthen our other friendships... we thought that maybe then, our time together will be more precious and meaningful... and our love might grow? But I'm afraid that when this happens, we'll stop loving each other... or something along those lines...? Please tell me what you think of this! Thanks!
2006-10-27 01:14:28 · 17 answers · asked by reba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
or
"out of site out of mind"
I think if you spend less time together, it makes you miss that other person more, and appreciate them more when you do see them. just remember to set aside time to still see other another alone, so that you dont grow too far apart.
alternatively, why not do activities where both your friends are involved. this way you get to be in eachothers presence, but not suffocate oneanother, as you can split your attention between eachother and your pals.
I dont think that by spending less time together you will stop loving oneanother. Alternatively, it may even make you realise how much you do love and miss that person.
2006-10-27 01:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absence sometimes at the right time does the relationship alot of good, and after that absence you start to appreciate each other a little more, and perhaps grow a little more. A little absence does the realationship good.
And don't break up, because that is another can of worms, before you break up, take a break first, don't go and sabbatage the relationship. At least show that you want to work with the relationship... That you aren't giving everything to the dumpster!
Try it! and tell me I wasn't right!
2006-10-27 01:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by Salemn Hernandez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is healthy for a couple to spend time apart with their Friends!! There is that old saying absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think that for a relationship to work you have to be able to still be your own person and be able to trust each other when you are apart. It is not healthy for a relationship to live in each others pockets and lose contact with all your friends. Go out with your friends and enjoy yourself and that will make you a happier stronger person . Then also you and your boyfriend will have lots to talk about and catching up to do when you are together. Take care and all the best xx
2006-10-27 01:23:37 · answer #3 · answered by happyflamepepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I prefer not to have many friends around or do things with them only b/c in my experiences and as well as my husbands they have caused more greive then good! Even certain family memebers. My husband has a lot of friends but again most of them at one point or another have lied about him or I or have tried to fix him up with other women. We both had friends that when we've gone to do somehting with them they think it is funny to not take us home when we've told the other person we would be and well if you're not driving it's a little hard to just walk home when you're three cities away! This has happen to my husband and I more then once, actually it had happened too often untill we just don't trust to go with them any more! My friend would ask me just to go shopping and if I would tell my husband I would be home in 2 hours she would not take me home till' 4 or 5 hours later! My husbands friend does the same thing to him a Christmas shopping trip lasted 15 hours and not one gift was bought yet he was broke when he got home. Needless to say he won't go with that friend anymore! He has this other friend that puts things around in our house trying to make us think something is going on with someone else, and he has a couple of friends that hit on me, I tell him right away and I do not like it or thing these people are good friends to him and therefore we avoid them...
It sounds like you and he are board of one another, I say this b/c my husband and I are just fine with nothing to do and no where to go, just hanging out, doing nothing! It is deffinatly not wasted time life is short and we enjoy every minute that we're together. There are not many times we get to do this with work and house chores. There are times we just sit and talk, watch movies, take naps, do a small project together. It is just as fun, if not funer to hang out with him rather then our other friends. He is my best friend and I am his and we really like that!
2006-10-27 01:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound as though you guys had much going on in this relation ship from word go. A relationship involves good friends from both people becoming part of the life of the other, no sitting on ya bum watching the world go by. Get out hold hands and talk with each other and your friends, that's what its all about. No wonder you stopped loving each other you ran out of things to love.
2006-10-27 01:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by god 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably one of you has already stopped loving the other one. Or isn't as in love as they once where. Or one of you is interested in someone else. A good rule of thumb is a female is usually not ready to settle down til she is about 25, a male is never really ready to settle down but gets tired of chasing females. Opposites do attract, and you sound more like the two of you are more alike than opposites. Your idea sounds logical but love is anything except logical.
I agree it's a risky maneuver, but I see no recourse.
2006-10-27 01:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ANY good healthy relationship not only withstands extraneous diversion but often thrives- life goes on and a healthy relationship should NOT be a vacuum wherein the"participants" block out other friendships and/or social activities. Such factors are reality and ideally would breathe strength and livliness into one's love life.
2006-10-27 01:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a good thing, to have a relationship where you aren't "joined at the hip", that you can have a life outside of each other, yet remain together.That is a sign of a solid relationship. Providing, there is no cheating intended as the motive for the change.
2006-10-27 01:20:39 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you truly love each other there should not be a problem. spending time with your friends for a change will only help you. just give him a little personal time one the nights you see him and don't make him feel like he is less important. i hope things work out. good luck.
2006-10-27 01:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If true love is there your heart will grow fonder by the absence. I think you are very intelligent to take a break Good luck!!!
2006-10-27 01:23:43 · answer #10 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋