I'm 4 months pregnant and so far the people I work with are telling me what and how I should be eating, nagging me about my ONE SMALL cup of coffee that I CAN drink. Me wearing a belt "too tight", and shaving my stomach because it causes stretch marks. WTF!!! I'm not an idiot, and I get enough of that from my mother in law. I've already tried the nice method of "thanking them for their concern" but I'm getting pretty pissed off with these people. Please help before I end up on trail for murder.
2006-10-27 01:09:29 · 28 answers · asked by ladyshy2226 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Hi, I just went through this a few months ago, and it pissed me off everytime someone opened their mouth. Usually the ones that open their mouth and give advice just don't know WHEN to shut up, right? You have a right to be mad. You know, after hearing the same comment, oh 10 or 20 times, it gets old as h*** & you don't wanna hear it anymore. i know the feeling. At first, I quietly accepted the advice, then I started voicing how i felt. I told a few people that kept telling me the same thing over & over "Thanks for the advice, but I heard you the first 5 time you told me. Please don't offer anymore advice, alright? I am grown, so I can make my own decisions & handle my own business. To be perfectly honest with you, I'm getting pretty tired of everyone putting in their 2 cents about what i choose to do (or don't do). If I need something, I have a mother I can ask for help."
Thats the nice, BUT VERY BLUNT way to say it. Good luck & congratulations on the little one.
2006-10-27 01:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I totally know what you mean. I had a baby last April. I look A LOT younger than I really am, people think I am 18-19 and I am 27, so the comments and suggestions just wouldn't stop!!! People would say basically "I'm older I know best". I read everything I can get my eyes on, so I am very conscious of how to raise my child and was very perfect with my eating and everything when I was pregnant and people would still say stuff. You can't win.
I remember taking tea to a class I was taking and a woman said that I was hurting the baby from the caffeine in my coffee. I said "no, I am drinking decaf and it is TEA!"
Tell them studies show that the amount of coffee you would have to drink to have a substantial impact on your baby is like 8 cups a day or more.
I used to want to commit murder too, eventually it got to the point that I was so rude, so sarcastic, my face so red with anger, and told them all the research info I could find about how there suggestions were wrong or outdated that people just stopped.
It only gets worse when you have the baby. You will hear tons of info from years gone by like "Give the baby cereal in his bottle he will sleep better" or "you're spoiling him/her by holding them".
There will forever be people telling you what you should do. I just "glaze over" when I am getting unwanted advice. Just say "Thanks, but I am actually very informed and good at judging for myself what is best for us". Then turn the other cheek.
Good luck! and Congratulations!
2006-10-27 02:03:28 · answer #2 · answered by Sexy_Bunny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whoa your hormones are running wild, I just had a baby and I ran into the same problem, it sure got on my nerves, It's like hello? it's my body, It's my baby, leave me ALONE! I drank a small cup of coffee on the cold days to warm me up and my son is so beautiful and a very healthy and happy baby. I think it's part of the cons of being pregnant as if we don't have enough stuff to worry about already. all I can say is bite your tongue, not too hard though, :-) people really need to mind their own business and we'd all be happy! oh and a warmest congratulations to you, good luck!
2006-10-27 01:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by sweetme 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say that "my doctor said..." and fill in the blank with whatever you want. People usually (or at least they should) feel stupid contradiciting a doctor. You'll need that advice, too when you have the baby. I'm constantly saying "but my pediatrition said....". It sucks. It's endless. Or, if you get really pissed (as I did a few times) just jokingly say you are trying to see how much the baby can take - toughen him up. If you say it jokingly people get confused and don't know how to react and shut up. Works if you just can't take it anymore!!
2006-10-27 02:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by In Luv w/ 2 B, 1 G + 1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait. Dont push him. He could have disorders to take on on his aspect, and such a lot men may not allow that impact any one and solved by means of others. So wait and simply provide your organization. Go along side whats secure for him. Send him one well morning and one well night time everyday with out fail, this suggests you continue to care, however dont do some thing extra that he can see as disturbing, Give him the distance he wanted however stick with him.
2016-09-01 03:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jus b honest n tell them how you feeling when i was preg with my first child i literally wanted to kill everyone who spoke to me specially if they did not know me i mean what an invasion of my privacy. anyhow i also had problem with being nice to people at work and as soon as i got home was fine so i told them "look nothing personal but you really pissin me off at present" they were fine and knew it was my hormones.... That lasted for the duration of my pregnancy and i'm still very good friends with them ( allhtough one girl did think about leaving).
so my advice would be to be honest
good luck
2006-10-27 01:32:32 · answer #6 · answered by Trying 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't retaliate, just take the comments in, and put them in your baby book of the worst advice you received and show them the baby book. I did that to my mother in law. Tell them that it's your new life into motherhood and you would like to have a peaceful memory and tell them that their comments are helpful, but not needed since you have it under control. Congrats on the pregnancy and soon new baby!
2006-10-27 01:28:42 · answer #7 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These people are only saying these things with GOOD intentions because they care about you and your new baby. It's not like they are saying it to be mean to you. I think your hormones are probably running wild right now, and you're perception of things is probably off. It's not like they are calling you an idiot. But if they really are bothering you, just politely ask them to stop.
2006-10-27 02:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I told my husbands family I was pregnant at 12 weeks and from that moment on they insisted on telling me how I could live until one day I looked at them in their face and said you want to tel me how I can do this or not do that why dont you carry the baby or me then you can do it your way. Everyone quickyl shut up and left me alone. Tell them you know what you can and cant do and you wont hurt the baby. I know its hard to stay calm thru it but do it nicely. Good Luck
2006-10-27 01:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell them nicely what you just wrote here. Tell them that, with your mother and mother-in-law, you're pretty much set for information, and if you needed to know something you'd look it up yourself.
You could also say the baby's your concern, please stop worrying about me.
Or if they give their opinion on something, and you don't think it's correct, try asking them where exactly they heard it, and if they're sure it's correct. That'll shut a few up.
BTW...congrats!!!
2006-10-27 01:13:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋