Will someone please explain why you need to have a ceremony to be considered married?

Question

If the couple genuinely love each other, why can't they just commit themselves to each other in the presence of God? Why is the ceremony neccesary? If they're sleeping together, doesn't God already consider them married? Like the woman at the well who had many lovers that Jesus called her husbands?

Answer 1

Malachi 2:14
"You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant."

This verse among others shows marriage as a covenant. A ceremony would make the covenant public. I wouldn't see much wrong with making a covenant between the two of you w/o having a ceremony, except that there is absolutely nothing to keep you accountable to that covenant.

God does not consider people to be married if they are sleeping together:

John 4:16-18
"16 He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back."

17 "I have no husband," she replied.

Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true." "

The woman has had 5 husbands, but is divorced and is sleeping with a man that is not her husband.

Answer 2

If they commit themselves to each other in the presence of God, that IS a ceremony. Most couples want to celebrate this ceremony as it is the single most important decision you will make, it bonds you to another human being.

Traditionally, ceremony is necessary because we want to be sure it is a mutual thing and not forced. This is why in most traditions there is a moment where anyone, including the bride and groom, may speak up and say "No" to the commitment.

No, sleeping together and being married are two different things. I've done both and can testify they are not the same.

Answer 3

If a couple isn't willing to put forth the effort to solemnize their vows before witnesses and civil or religious officials, I'd say the level of commitment isn't there to make the relationship last in the first place. And a lot of couples for that very reason probably don't want to be bound by marriage and divorce laws because they'd want an easy way to get out if they don't like it. And that's just a total copout. Marriage has become about as dispensible as yesterday's garbage. If a couple really loves each other, they should love each other enough to formalize their marriage. If they don't love each other enough to do that, then at least they've got someone who has as little respect for the relationship as they do.

With regard to Jesus talking to the woman at the well, He told the woman to go call her husband, and when she said she'd didn't have a husband, Jesus said in fact that she'd had five husbands and that the man she was with at that time was not her husband. Jesus never called that man her husband, but told her to send for her husband so that He could confront her in the way she was living. Nowhere in Scripture does it say Jesus condoned the way the woman was living.

Answer 4

When you live in a Society, it is quite normal to have a ceremony announcing your marriage so that the others around you know who is your husband or who is your wife, etc. Otherwise, we will all end up in such a mess that one man's wife will be sleeping with other man or vice versa and there is no way of knowing who is sleeping with whom. More over the question of legacy or lawful heir etc. need to be acertained. Further, the legal question of husband/wife issue need to be addressed. If it is only sleeping together matters, anybody can sleep with anybody and no need to celebrate. That is why the Society has created something as "Marriage Ceremony" wherein the friends and relatives come to know so and so has married so and so. Of course now a days this issue is tackled by getting your marriage registered in a court whereas in the earlier days, there was no such provision. Also, if two minds of opposite sex are getting together, it is an important and happy event and so why not celebrate. Also the institution of marriage is not only about sleeping together but also about procreation, carrying the genes forward with the best chosen and seleted man/woman relationship, something your forefathers have nurtured for so many thousands of years. It is also about pedigree just like other animals like dogs, cats, etc. and hence the institution of marriage is sacred. To put it bluntly, it not about putting anybodys dick into anybodys pussy and it means much more than that.

Answer 5

Ok, A. we live in a society that likes to keep things neatly in a box. If you don't want a wedding ceremony, you had best have a marriage license, otherwise your SO is not entitled to your insurance or benifits by law. B. if you are sleeping with your SO and have no plans on making it legal, then you are doing a diservice to the other person. AS I mentioned, your loved one isn't entitled to anything. Should anything happen to you, your SO is SOL. ANd no, God doesn't concider them to be married. C. The lady at the well didn't have many lovers. Her husband died, and his brother took her to wife. This happened seven times, but she was widowed each time. She did not have seven husbands at once.

Answer 6

In Bible times, once the women moved in with the man, they were married. No changing minds and moving out, they were married.

Engagements also was serious and could not be easily broken either.

Where local laws require a ceremony, so does God.

Ceremony.
As to the wedding itself, the central and characteristic feature was the solemn bringing of the bride from her father's home to her husband's home on the date agreed upon, in which act the significance of marriage as representing admission of the bride into the family of her husband found expression. (Mt 1:24) This constituted the wedding in patriarchal days before the Law. It was altogether a civil affair. There was no religious ceremony or form, and no priest or clergyman officiated or validated the marriage. The bridegroom took the bride to his house or to the tent or house of his parents. The matter was publicly made known, acknowledged, and recorded, and the marriage was binding.-Ge 24:67.

However, as soon as marriage arrangements had been made and the parties were engaged, they were considered bound in marriage. Lot's daughters were still in his house, under his jurisdiction, but the men engaged to them were termed Lot's "sons-in-law who were to take his daughters." (Ge 19:14) Although Samson never married a certain Philistine woman but was only engaged to her, she was spoken of as his wife. (Jg 14:10, 17, 20) The Law stated that if an engaged girl committed fornication, she and the guilty man were to be put to death. If she was violated against her will, the man was to be put to death. However, any case involving an unengaged girl was handled differently.-De 22:22-27.

Marriages were registered. Under the Law marriages, as well as births resulting from the union, were recorded in the official records of the community. For this reason we have an accurate genealogy of Jesus Christ.-Mt 1:1-16; Lu 3:23-38; compare Lu 2:1-5.

Answer 7

most people enjoy a ceremony to share their commitment to each other with family and friends; it's a time of celebration and we all need more of that! but the ceremony doesn't make you married, the marriage license does.

A married couple in the us has numerous legal and economic benefits and can be seen on this page:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/mar_bene.htm

some that you may not have been aware of is joint insurance policies for home, auto, and health, joint benefits such as annuities, pension plans, social security, medicare, and automatic inheritance in the absence of a will. this website has a helpful list.

the Common Law marriage has been either eliminated in many jurisdictions or replaced with the Civil Union, whose benefits are substantially limited. For more reading on that, check out:

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/marriage_law.html

without a legal agreement there is no community property, no joint custody of children, no automatic inheritance, no joint leases, etc. there are significant financial and legal benefits to marriage.

i also understand that the much-debated divorce rate is shocking and therefore creates reasonable angst among those considering marriage. good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 8

Some say a legal ceremony is not necessary as long as the couple is married in the eyes of God. Others say that in Bible times there was no such thing as a legal ceremony. But notice how the Bible guides us in this matter. Titus 3:1 commands us to be in subjection and be obedient to governments and authorities. When a couple legally marries and registers such marriage, their name, marriage and any children they have are above reproach. Also, the property rights of family members are safeguarded should one of the mates die.

Moreover, Hebrews 13:4 commands us to let our marriage be honorable among all and the marriage bed be without defilement because God will judge fornicators. Getting married legally goes a long way toward allowing the marriage to be "honorable" among all. Furthermore, 1 Peter 2:12-15 admonishes us to maintain our conduct fine among the nations. A marriage legally carried out and registered puts the marriage as well as the spouses and any children above reproach – even among unbelievers who will see our fine conduct. And all of this brings honor to God.

Hannah

Answer 9

There is no need for a ceremony. But if you want to be recognized as married by our gov't, you still have to get the marriage license and have witness' sign it. But you can do that at the court house without the ceremonial stuff. There isn't anything in the Bible (or anywhere else) that says you have to have a ceremony.

Answer 10

well there once were common law marriges,... where if an adult man and woman lived together long enough they'd become defacto married after a certain time...

but in modern society when theres bonuses like tax things, medical and legal priveleges and such... something a bit more formalized is useful.

though as far as I know technically you only "need" to have a marrige liscense and some sort of public official with a couple witnesses say its so.

or something like that.

so techncially the ceremony isn't needed to be legal, and the legality isn't neccesarily needed to be religiously so.