I am 21 years old and having a lot of problems with my parents, my mom and dad weren't the ideal parents growing up, so they are trying to make up now. Well the prob is I am 21 and they won't let me make any decisions on my own, they still treat me like a little kid, my sister does the same thing to me, shes 28, and lives in another state. How can I prove to them that I am doing whats best for me? You know I don't think I turned out all that bad, I have morals, but somethimes I do let people take advantage of me. My parents sometimes treat me like crap and take advantage of me, I just want to get away from them. Now I am dating someone that they hate and say will never accept, he's older than me, and has children. I don't think I can have kids because I had a miscarraige 2 and a half years ago, so I like being involved in his kids lives. I need help convincing my parents that I wasn't born yesterday and know what I am doing, they can't protect me forever. I must learn from my mistakes.
2006-10-26 23:57:18 · 16 answers · asked by alleybug_2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I do live on my own and have a full time job... to all those who said move out or whatever!!! I have been paying my way since I was 17 yrs old. I am tiredof these dumb games with my parents though. Thanks you guys for all of your answers : )
2006-10-27 01:03:29 · update #1
The 1st thing u need 2 do is learn how 2 stand up for yourself. No1 can take advantage of u unless you allow it. Based on what you said,(I don't think I turned out all that bad) I sense that u made some poor choices in your past. If you depend on them financially,(even a loan here & there) of course they're going 2 treat u like a kid. People tend 2 hold mistakes u made over your head,especially if you've asked them2 bail you out of situations all the time. You're right u must learn from ur own mistakes, that's where your wisdom will comes from. Mom & Dad made some mistakes,they just don't want u 2 follow in their steps. Parents don't want their kids 2 make mistakes in fear of watching them get hurt, that's all. You're only 21 which is still young. Just because you had a mis doesn't mean u can't have kids unless a Dr. told you otherwise..Sit them down & just tell them how you feel.
Good Luck
2006-10-27 01:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by BK1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have already moved out on your own than about all you can do is try to stand up for yourself more and put some distance between you and them. That may mean not accepting every invitation to come over for a visit, not calling them or answering their calls as often.
When they realize that you now have your own life and are really too busy to continue to drop everything each time they want, they will back off if they want to keep a good relationship with you.
2006-10-27 02:59:35 · answer #2 · answered by jarhed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its typical of parents to act this way, i am a parent myself, and have a 20 year old daughter, its hard to let go, because in my eyes she is still my baby :) and she is even moved out on her own.
i had this problem also with my parents, and i had to move out, but if you are living in there house you have to follow there rules, or do what i did,move out on your own. as far as the boyfriend, i'm not saying to not respect your parents, but if he makes you happy then you stay with him and be happy, life is to short.
and just a little something i caught while reading your story, just becasue you have a miscarriage does not mean you can not get pregnant again, normally when you have a miscarrige , something was wrong with the baby, and thats your bodies way of telling you...i had 1 miscarriage also, and have 3 beautiful children :) so don't worry so much, if its a problem, see a doctor. he/she will help.
keep your chin up, things have a way of working themselves out!! good luck, :)
2006-10-27 00:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by donttalkjustplay05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not know about your situation because since i was 16 years old until i became 25 years old me and my mom were oceans apart. me being in the philippines and her being here in the US. so she was not present physically when i started college until i graduated from college. she was my sole financial support. i could not graduated without her money invested on me. i did not work then. i mean i never think of working while going to school. i always thought i would work after i get a college degree. i did not even see her since i graduated from college until 2008. i last saw her august 2000. and i finally saw her again december 2008. so it was a long long time since i saw her again. i do not have a dad. so he is out of the picture. so nobody told me what to do and what not to do since 16 years old until 25. when i got here in chicago dec. 2008 until now, i live with my mom. we do fight a lot. she is just so annoying. am really glad she was not present when i was at college. because we only fight all the time here. but its not like we fight all the time. there are several moments of enjoying each others company as well and stuffs like that. am actually happy that i am with my mom again. i do not want to live without her anymore. am 26 now. if she ever dies or something i will ask my money loving boyfriend to marry me. if he doesnt wanna marry me then its better i die because my mom and him are the only people worth living for.i can live either of the two. but i would die without the two.
2016-05-22 00:23:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be a lonely day, when they cease to exist on planet earth. If God must have it this way, go with it. It is imperative, you are taken care of, as a direct result of, not a twisted pass, but a royal pass life. it is sort of a destiny. However, change will come along. Please be grateful.Forgive your family and yourself.
You will flow with this man and his children, until it is meant.
God bless us all...
2006-10-27 00:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by lee f 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can convince them is to go ahead and achieve great things so that you too can move out and they can as well see the level you have attained.
Good luck!
2006-10-27 00:09:43 · answer #6 · answered by Sage_Learner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not grown up till you stop letting your parents from treating you like a child. Telling your parents like an adult and being nice about it is your first move.
Adults stand up for themselves.
2006-10-27 00:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Mit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to have a heart to heart talk with them. make them understand that you are already 21. An adult who is willing to take risks and accept any consequence of her actions. But do listen to them too, because they may be right..They just want the best for you.
2006-10-27 00:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are living at home you need to change that. They are probably trying to protect you in their own way. If you don't like it move away.
2006-10-27 00:31:11 · answer #9 · answered by doglady 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They love you,thats all.MORE THAN THE MAN YOU WANT TO BE WITH.they cant choose for you though,mistakes are inevitable in life i agree,but if we can avoid it,its much better.move out and call your own shots if you wont abide by their rules.
2006-10-27 00:50:37 · answer #10 · answered by lace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋