My husband is in the navy and I have Anxiety and Depression and we have one child (15months) amd we are expecting another baby and with this pregnancy i have had a hard time taking care of out first son. I already have a bad back and joints to it hard for me to do daily things I cant sit or stand for to long so its hard to do much witout my husband here and everytime we try to tell his commanding officer all he says is that i should go see a phyic. and i have to go to the military hospital but everytime I go its the same thing they dont do anything for me. So is there any other way i can get my husband out or just be home alot more.
2006-10-26 23:16:55 · 14 answers · asked by joeya_anthonya 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Why force your husband to get out of the military?? It sounds to me like with mental condition, a child and a baby on the way, that you need the medical benefits. Can you afford to live without a military pay check??
We've been in the Army for 18 years and I know that often, the medical care isn't the best. However, I refuse to believe that you have ALL those conditions and they're unwilling to do anything for you. At the very least, they'd treat one condition at a time. You have to keep going. Just because they tell you once that nothing can be done, doesn't mean they can keep telling you that. You have to have repeat visits. You also need to specifically ask for a referral to a pychiatrist. You do need mental help, there's no question about that.
I know the Army offers the EFMP program. That's the Exceptional Family Member Program. I don't know how much more different the Navy is than the Army with a program like that. They have it for various reasons, one of them mental instability. It doesn't promise your husband will be home more, but it does make everyone aware that you have a condition. Any moves you make will also be within a certain distance from available medical care.
I'm not sure why with everything you have going on in your life you'd want to bring another child into the world. You obviously can't really care for the one you have. You need to work on healing yourself before you have more children. However, it's too late to think about that now. Get medical help for whatever conditions you have now. There's also support groups available to you. If you can't get satisfaction, ask to be referred off post. I don't think getting out of the military is the answer. Especially since it's YOU asking how to get out and not your husband. My guess is you just want him out. However, that's not my judgement call to make, so get what help is available and don't add any more to his stress level.
2006-10-27 02:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by HEartstrinGs 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok First off. Dont be so quick to bail out of the military. You have an infant already and are expecting another child on the way. You are already suffering from Anxiety and depression. I am assuming that you are on Medication. Now while the Military doesnt pay all that great, The medical and pharmacy are free as long as they are done on base.
Instead of dropping everything on your husband (please dont get me wrong, he is your husband and has an obligation to take care of his family) and expecting him to be home with you and take you everywhere, get in contact with the Unit's Family Readiness Group. (Dont know what it would be called in the Navy but it is a FRG in the Army. FRG is made up of other Soldiers/Sailors/Marines/Airmens Spouses. See if the FRG would be able to assist you in getting to and from Doctors appointments, Commissary shopping etc... If it isnt called FRG in the Navy then contact your Fleet Service Center and they will be better able to assist you. Also there is the on base Chaplains Office who might be able to assist.
Have you gone up and spoken with your Husbands First line supervisor ? Explain to him/her what the situation is and what you have done to rectify the issues. Enlist the Supervisor to assist you in going up the Chain of Command. When you have gone to the Post Hospital and nothing is being done, have you asked for a referal to another Doctor ? Have you spoken with the Hospitals Patient Affairs Representative (cant remember actual title) and filed a complaint ?? The one good thing about the Military is that there is a Chain of Command. Use it ! Sit down and gather up a course of Action. Identify the problems, what actions you have taken, How those actions have suceeded or failed. If they failed why they failed or came up short. What you would like to see happen etc... Be flexible and if no one wants to assist push it further up the Chain of Command.
Prepare also for what if the Chain of Command seperates your husband and family from the service. Where will you go and live? How are you going to pay bills ? How are you going to survive ? All valid questions that need to be answered and more or else you will have other issues with no safety net to fall back on.
Good Luck
2006-10-27 08:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by JohnRingold 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh.... reality check. Wives don't "get their husbands out." His enlistment will end sooner or later. He can always get a "section 8" discharge... basically, he would be considered insane. Just do crazy stuff all the time. Or, maybe you could run him over with your car, then he could get a medical discharge. However, if he leaves the military, where will you get income??? He will still have to be away from you for most of the day. Maybe what you really need is some hired help.
2006-10-27 10:18:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lamont M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way he could get out is if HE really had major health problems; including mental. But he still would have to go through many tests to prove that. Sorry for what you're going through. I raised 4 practically on my own with health disorders---it can be done.
2006-10-27 20:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not check to see if there is a support group you can join. I have read where military wives have them and they help each other out and you make new friends. There are many women with your same concerns and if you get together with them it will help out alot with your anxiety and depression.
2006-10-27 08:55:16 · answer #5 · answered by Captleemo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully he will get a hardship discharge to take care of you.
And you will need to win the lottery so that he never has to work again becuase all of his time is going to be taken up caring for you. There is not a job out there that is going to let him leave work at will just to "help you out."
2006-10-27 07:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by DW 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some of these people on here are rude and I am sorry they are to you. My thought for you is to have your husband apply for the hardship status and see if he can get out. I hope everything works out for you'll.
2006-10-27 06:49:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try it the CO's way first. Get yourself a full workup by a head-shrinker. My guess that he's right, you are nuts. There might be some meds you can take that will fix you up just fine.
2006-10-27 08:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by Yak Rider 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
See a base pastor. He(She) should be able to point your husband to a hardship discharge.
2006-10-27 06:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it is early in the pregnancy get an abortion, you obviously cannot handle it. I do not say this to seem mean but Yates had the same stuff and look what she did. You are obviously mentally unbalanced and enough kids die. Get mental health help, now!!!
2006-10-27 07:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by Meow the cat 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋