as we know christmas is coming up and for the first time i am going to stay at my partners parents house iver christmas with my partner but anyway the problem is his father cant stand me if he had his way i wouldnt be aloud to stay over but his mother onsists that i stay but need tips on how to try and get along with him dont want to spoil christmas for my partner or the others that will be staying too pleeeeze help.
2006-10-26 22:48:50 · 17 answers · asked by baby dust for me 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Be a gentleman(if ur a guy) a lady(if a woman) to pacify the dad~ throughout the night be, respectful, polite, and considerate regardless of how he treats you. If the dad still treats you like scum, at the end of the night you'll have PROVEN to all that YOU are the bigger person! Best o' luck!
2006-10-26 22:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by red2queen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You haven't said why your partners father can't stand you. What did you do wrong or what happen? there has to be a reason.
Carry yourself with some dignity, dress for the occasion, say the right things and don't try to be the center of attention. Maybe your partner can give you some advice as to what his father likes or dislikes. You can then start conversations around these items. Try and help as much as possible around the kitchen so his wife can have more time with guests. Try and help with the influx of children so they will be under more control so the adults can have a better time conversing and be cordial all the time, especially around him. Good luck.
2006-10-27 05:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I am reading your questions corrrectly you just had twins and are trying to concieve a child with your current partner.
Maybe your partner's dad has issues with him raising another man's kids, and trying to have another one right after you just had twins. Maybe he feels his son is being taken advantage of.
You are going to have to indicate to these people that you are capable of making responsible decisions. Decisions that do not financially drain your household and emotionally and physically drain yourself.
When you have conversation with his family speak with respect. Respond to what they are telling you. Do not react. Respond. Take a breath, think of what you want to say and say it calmly and respectfully. This teaches respect. If a conversation is heading south then you can say, " I can't talk about this right now." and end the conversation.
Consider addressing the issues you have now without adding to the distress. In other words, you are young, you have twins that demand all of your time and strength right now. Give those babies a chance. Prevent another pregnancy and let your household fall into a consistent routine.
Let your partner know you love him enough to trust that in time there will be another child. His. But you aren't doing anyone any favors by getting pregnant while you are caring for two newborn babies.
Maybe all of this has dad fed up. He's been there, done that, and he knows what it takes.
You are both scaring the man.
2006-10-27 06:54:41 · answer #3 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try and catch him alone and give him the low down:
I know we dont get along, I am not trying to force it, however, this is Christmas and I would like for your son/daughter to have a great holiday, so can we be civil and not have any complications while I am here?
If need be, go out of your way to not be any trouble (dont walk on eggshells, but be respectfull obviously) just try and be low key and not drag your partner down with how bad his/her dad is treating you. If all things work out well, you should both be surprised by how 'undramatic' it will be. Good Luck.
2006-10-27 05:55:19 · answer #4 · answered by Ivy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
by partner you mean more than a friend
well, there are no universal tips about bonding with
another persons father; i'd recommend that you inquire
through your "partner" - and find out what reservations the father has against you (thats a start)... from there you can make efforts to disintegrate these negative correlations
its kind of hard to offer you anything more for advice with such vague details...
what reservations?
is the father just a bitter person?
why does he think you're staying over?
is father projecting anger at your partner to you?
etc.
2006-10-27 05:50:40 · answer #5 · answered by oracle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be respectful and polite.
No matter how hard you have to bite your tongue, be polite!
Yes, sir, No, sir, that kind of thing.
Since it's the partner's mother that's insisting on your staying, focus on her. Help in the kitchen if you can, offer to help with the clean up or the cooking or setting the table. Or keeping the younger kids busy so they're not under foot constantly.
I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. I just don't have the patients for it any more.
2006-10-27 05:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, fingers crossed you're going to be with this guy for a long time so you and his father are going to have to learn to get along. Lots of manners as no one can argue with a polite girl . Be very selfless and try to prove to his father that you are perfectly suited for his son. Try not to make too bigger impact on anyone, polite, sweet and generous is the way to go. Good luck!
2006-10-27 06:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by Elle :) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u should know more abt his dad, what he likes what he doesn't and learn about a subject that he is into it and start talking, well i think this is the season of being united and open hearts but for u also should be fun so if u need to talk with him then talk smthing u know that he likes if not stay as much as possible with your bf ........this way u would enjoy Christmas also.
2006-10-27 05:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by black_cat_heart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be polite and courteous, and if your partner's father chooses to be rude to a guest in his home, he'll be the one spoiling Christmas, not you.
2006-10-27 06:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH you poor girl
Why don't you approach his father and ask him what his problem is. If he tell you try and work things out with him. Then you all can have a nice Christmas
2006-10-27 05:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋