please give me some funny blond jokes best jokes get 10 points
2006-10-26 21:13:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
www.zelo.com (another site) www.blonde-jokes.info
There are 500 of them here. There are also redneck jokes and others.
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
Q: What do you call a blonde in a Volkswagen?
A: FarFromThinking
Submitted by: Michael Sharp
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'
The Unites States government has issued a recall on all cars and trucks that have a headlight dimmer switch on the turn signal switch. The purpose for this is to cut the traffic accidents at night by 90%. Apparently that the 90% that they plan to cut is from blonds, because they keep getting their foot stuck in the steering wheel. Submitted by: Randy Hutton
Q: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
2006-10-26 21:16:49 · answer #1 · answered by Just Bein' Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's a few for ya....LOL:
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license back?
Because she got an ''F'' in Sex.
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
2006-10-27 04:22:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a blonde who happened to find a document containing top secrets of the army. She went to the astrologer to ask what should be done to the message in the document to use it to her benefit. The astrologer pondered and finally said that she should put the message in a least-used location.
Soon afterwards, the blonde was feverishly memorising the contents of the document. A brunette came along and asked why she was memorising the information. The blonde replied, "Isn't my head the least used location?"
2006-10-27 04:27:05 · answer #3 · answered by Hardrock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to htpp://sexy.blonde./good joke.yahoo.com
Q: What do you call a blonde in a Volkswagen?
A: FarFromThinking
Submitted by: Michael Sharp
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
2006-10-27 04:27:01 · answer #4 · answered by abhishek j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so a thug, a chinese chef, and a blonde were stuck on top of a burning building.
the fireman yelled from below "jump down, and i'll catch you with this net!!"
the thug jumped first, and at the last second, the fireman moved the net out of the way, and the thug died.
the fireman said, "thats what you get for stealing my car."
the fireman yelled up to the chinese chef, "jump, and i'll catch you!!"
but the chef was hesitant, so the fireman promised not to move the net.
but when the chef jumped, the fireman moved the net again, and the chinese chef crashed into the ground.
the fireman said, "thats what you get for cooking my dog."
the fireman yelled up to the blonde, "jump and i'll catch you!"
but the blonde, upon seeing this, yelled back:
"no, i saw you move the net when those other guys jumped! PUT THE NET ON THE GROUND FIRST!!"
2006-10-27 04:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by ajakhatarinaak47 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was
too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to
print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in
typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6
months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went
out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't
fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a
lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
learned later that other swimmers cheated, they used
their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car
swamped because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't
it???
October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....
instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no
"eleven" button on the phone!!!
2006-10-27 04:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by Zodiac_Child 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you call a smart blonde?... a labrador..
what did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory?.. she was throwing out all the w's
there are soo many more.. i can't think of them right now..
2006-10-27 04:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by kath m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
2006-10-27 09:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did the blonde break her arm while raking leaves?
SHE FELL OUTTA THE TREE
2006-10-27 04:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by lotusgoddess_1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋