2006-10-26 21:10:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
my fiance' and her mother are the only who use spanish and yes both do speak english
2006-10-26 21:27:04 · update #1
Well, I am guessing it is in your best interest to have at the very least a cordial relationship with your future MIL.
You have a couple of choices...speak to your fiance and tell her that you feel excluded because you cannot understand them when they speak in another language. See if she will then speak English only at the table, regardless of what language the MIL speaks. Perhaps then the MIL will get the hint, but if not, at least you can sort of follow the conversation and contribute.
Or, you could just say, "excuse me? what did you say?" After every utterance in Spanish and see if that will get them to change languages!
What I have learned over the years is that you cannot control anyone else's actions or reactions, only your own!! So, you need to decide how important this issue is to you and that will tell you how you feel you need to respond.
Good luck!
ps - In my opinion it is quite rude to speak in a language that is not understood by someone who is right there! I speak 4 languages and do not do that unless it is of an urgent and private nature, and only then to ask the other person for a private word.
ALSO - I was going to say it will be great when you have kids and they can learn another language!! My parents and I speak only Spanish to my child, his father and his parents speak to him in German and English is all around us. It's a wonderful opportunity for any children you might have.
2006-10-27 04:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by seaelen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is *exceptionally* rude on her part! A private conversation with her daughter is one thing, but not at the dinner table in front of other people. That is not the place to have a one-on-one with someone in another language (when everyone has the ability to speak yours). No matter whose house it is. It is completely inappropriate, and you are right to be frustrated. However, in the interest of your future relationship, it would behoove you to find a VERY nice way to let her and your fiancee know. How would they feel if you pulled out a cell phone at the dinner table and had a conversation with someone right in front of them that they were no part of? It would be no less rude. It is not like you are expecting them to speak only your language all the time - just at the dinner table, when everyone is present. That is perfectly reasonable on your part. My sympathies.
2006-10-28 03:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by Jeannie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expressing your frustration will not achieve your objective of getting her to speak in a language that you understand or understand better. I suggest that you tell her that you cannot understand Spanish very much and that you want to communicate better with her and that it can only be done if she speak in a language that you can understand better. Of course she cannot speak anything that you understand expressing your frustration will not be helpful either.
2006-10-26 21:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by seekfind 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is Spanish the language spoken in your home?
Does your future mother in law speak your native tongue?
If she does then yes by all means you have a right to voice your opinion and in fact if this is a deliberate act on her part, I would say she is a very thoughtless woman and I am not sure I would trust her very far.
2006-10-26 21:14:47 · answer #4 · answered by theradicalwomen 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We need more information. How many people at the table speak Spanish? Do you? Can she also speak English? etc. etc.
2006-10-26 21:13:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is AMERICA, have some respect!! This country was founded on the English language, People should use it out of respect for those of us english speaking Americans who have been here since this Country was started! "Speak English or get the hell out!"
2006-10-27 04:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal A 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to express your frustration, but IMHO a mother has the right to speak to her daughter in whatever language she chooses.
My husband's family only speaks French as a family, and I am perfectly willing to speak only French to them (my French is pretty decent, but when my husband and I first started going out it was nowhere near as good as my father-in-law's or brother-in-law's English) but there is NO way I'll speak anything but English to my own kids. (By the way, you better sort out what language your fiance expects to speak to your kids, if you're planning on having any.)
2006-10-26 23:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Goddess of Grammar 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
How about write NOTHING. My kids sometimes read things on here and when there is foul language it is kind of to tip toe around them. How about Refraining from the language. Believe me I know how frustrating things get and you just want to say, " BAD WORDS". Just say the word, " bad word, bad word, bad word". You should have seen me the other day. I dropped something on my toe and I was jumping up and down, screaming this " BAD WORDS BAD WORDS BAD WORDS BAD WORDS!!!!" over and over again. Did I look like an idiot? YES!! Did I say anything that my kids would be ashamed of me for using? NO! or is you must, do this: ^*&$$(^(*&()&@(&_&(@^ Self Explanatory!
2016-05-22 00:14:43 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your fiance. Tell her how rude that you think this is.Ask her if you and her and her mother can sit down and talk this out rationally. Tell her mom that you think that it is rude to speak another anguage at the dinner table. If that doesnt work- whip out a language that she cant understand and refuse to use nothing but that language with her.
2006-10-26 23:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
atha atha athatha ci
2006-10-26 21:15:46 · answer #10 · answered by adolfh 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋