Their extended stay means that they are no longer guests. I am stressing because I simply wanted to help them out-that's it. Not for me to be burdened. I am not used to anything like this. They aren't paying me or helping out with my bills. I just want things to get back to normal. It has been a little over two months already. Two "deadlines" have already passed and anything else was not part of the initial agreement. I didn't want to see them homeless but they are eating me out of house and home and sound mind. Suggestions? I just don't want to say the wrong things.
2006-10-26 20:51:44 · 13 answers · asked by Devee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She works nights, he doesn'twork. They do buy their own food-eating me out of house and home was a figure of speech for the costs incurred, ie rent, bills, etc. They sleep all day and when I get home they are asleep. Up all night. They seem evasive; like they just want to avoid me so I won't say anything but I am not sure.
2006-10-26 21:25:14 · update #1
Sounds like they are using you for a door mat - who on earth gets a completely free ride in life for 2 months?? No one. They are being selfish and self centered. The time has come for you to ask them to leave and mean it - do not delay the deadline. Ask them to leave or ask them to pay rent/groceries/bills etc - I bet they will be on their way quickly when you ask them for some cash...
2006-10-26 20:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give them a newspaper ad with apartment listings and tell them that as much as you enjoyed their stay with you, you need to reclaim your space and cannot afford to support two extra people anymore. If they need help finding a place, you'd be more than happy to check out the apartments with them.
However, if they still beg to stay with you, remind them of the agreed timeframe, and let them know that you are having a hard time supporting 2 other people since you're the only one spending money. Tell them that they should start buying their own food, because the money you earn is primarily for mortgage/rent. I think giving them a month's notice is more than enough. Say how you feel, they're taking advantage of your niceness and that's not right.
2006-10-26 21:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a lot like your brother and his girlfriend are taking advantage of you. From what you've said, I'd say it's time to put your foot down and tell your brother straight out that it is time he moved on. You agreed that he could stay for a set period of time, and that time has finished.
Are your brother and his girlfriend actively searching for somewhere else to live? Is there a way you could help them do that to hurry it along a bit?
Failing all else, perhaps it's time to give your brother an ultimatim - either they go, or they pay a *fair* share of the bills.
2006-10-26 20:59:49 · answer #3 · answered by dawni . 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply call a family meeting. Explain that what they are doing is wrong....As a brother myself, I would love them to stay as guest. But as the person renting out a house for free and no pay.....I would tell them, they get out on they own.....or you'll do it. Family is family...thats why they have been there for so long. But everyone has their limits.
2006-10-26 20:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to set them down and tell them that you have helped them all you can. They need to start helping themselves and that doesn't mean that they can continue to stay there. You have a right to a life. I know that it is hard because they are family. Give them one more dead-line and if they haven't gotten jobs to help support themselves and pay you, then you cannot help them any longer. It is obvious that they are taking advantage of your good nature and should be working on getting on their feet and making their own way. Be tough! It will work out if you are honest and stick to what you have set down. It is your house and your money.
2006-10-26 20:58:47 · answer #5 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're in a very hard place with this situation and I'm sorry for that.Start with the truth they are eating you out of house and home and aren't contributing to help themselves.They aren't your responsibility remind them of that.Sadly you have to be very adult and there's no light way to put heck there's really no diplomatic way to put it either.It's hard not wanting to hurt their feelings but they obviously aren't taking yours into consideration either.Which in my opion is worse...Respect is earned not freely given so respect yourself and take a deep breath.And then tell them calmly you've done what you can to help them now they need to help themselves and they only have (as much time as you're willing to offer) to get their ducks in a row get their own place and get the heck outta yours.
Good luck hun and remember sometimes the truth is hurtful but family who know you will respect you more if you speak it out loud and up front...
Harboring is bad so set your thoughts free on this.
Good Luck
M.G
2006-10-26 21:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by Malia G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say something along the lines of:
"Having you guys here has been kinda fun, but I cant pay the bills unless you help me out"
You could stop buying food altogether, and see how long your bro's girlfriend can survive on granola bars. ;)
2006-10-26 20:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by brian-upstairs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well why dun u tell ur bro tt u need them to pay u some rent or else they need to leave coz u cant afford to pay the amount of bills whc i guess more of it is used by them....eg elec ,water etc..
just tell him tt u really cant afford ....tell him to help u out....u cant be going on like tis forever gal.....
be firm but in a nice way ....means try to talk things out with ur bro hopefully he ll u'stand....if u really cant get them out i think u ll have to get help from ur parents....whc i think mite end up in a big issue try talking to ur bro 1st and see how things go...
if things dun turn out rite than u ll have no choice but to get ur parents help....
good luck gal!!
2006-10-26 21:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by SexyPrincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you get home and they are still sleeping, go in and wake their butts up. tell them that you have done all that you can, and that your sorry, but it is time for them to go. not next week not next month, but now!! you have done all that you can and it appears that they are not doing what they need to do for them selves, so why should you?? be strong, tell them its time to go. and please don't feel sorry for them when they say they have no where else to go. if they were able to convince you into letting them stay I'm sure they can convince someone else. tell her to try someone in her family.
2006-10-27 14:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said the wrong thing when you you said sure move in with me rent free...you let deadlines pass.
why dont you just be honest and tell him either start helping out or get out.
2006-10-26 20:56:55 · answer #10 · answered by bizzyboneissexy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋