she's only 10 years old, but i've found a notebook of hers which has doodles of Hilary Duff's name with hearts around it and "S. J. + H. D. 4 EVER" (S. J. being my daughter's intitials)
this seems really wrong...
should I take away her posters and dvds of hilary??
2006-10-26 20:51:32 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Do nothing. She has a crush on her idol, but this is not a sign that she is gay or something.
My daughter is 9 and I secretly suspect that she overly idolises my best friend, but I'm not worried. It's just a phase.
She is so young and has so much to learn about life. Her feelings will not be sexual, I think she is too young for that. In a year or so, she will find some cute boy to daydream about. I know I changed my idol about 3 times a year.
Don't worry!!
2006-10-26 21:00:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give her time. It may just be a young kid thing. But get ready for your talk that you to will have to have over how she feels about it. If it comes to that make sure you stress the fact that you love her. Because if is a sign on how she will feel when she is older her life will be put to the test enough with out having to add losing you or having you reject her. I WOULD NOT punish her by taking her things. That tells her
1: you read her private thoughts.
2: That she needs to build a wall between you two so you wont judge her.
3: That she is dirty and bad.
4: That you are ashamed because you are punishing her.
5: And that you will not be supporting her if she ever did make a decision later when she is older about her sexuality.
Here a question- How would you be reacting if it was a guys poster and initials. I would not acted any differently to her than I would if it was a guy. And at ten do not bring up the subject of gay or not gay. She don't know yet, and even if she is later, right now she is just a kid. Let her stay that way as long as she can.
2006-10-26 21:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by JOYCE U 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not uncommon for people to have a crush on the member of the same sex. It's doubtful that it's a romantic crush. It sounds like your daughter looks up to HIlary Duff, and sees something in her that she wants to emulate. If it becomes an obsessive problem (ie something that interferes with her daily functioning) talk to a doctor. But, I wouldn't worry about it. There are worse idols your daughter could choose!
2006-10-26 21:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by Annette T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For God's sake she is 10!!!!!! She loves Hilary Duff..so what. She loves you to that doesn't make her gay. If she still loves her when she is 18 then maybe but who cares. Love your daughter and get your mind out of the gutter. She admires someone who isn't the worst person in the world. Next year it will be someone new. Leave your daughter alone or you may her screw her up in ways you homophobically do not want
2006-10-26 22:29:16 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i doubt your daughter's crush is sexual at all. girls of all ages have "crushes" on other females by admiring their looks, style, whatever. these are not related to sexuality whatsoever.
remember that what is attractive to a 10 year old girl is much much much different than what is attractive to a heterosexual mature person. she is probably infatuated with the "grownupness" of hilary's image. we are in a society that idolizes women for their beauty, and she's picked up a little of that. it does not make her a lesbian.
i don't know your religious views, but i don't think that homosexuality is wrong. i'm not going to go into that though, because i think i made it clear above that i don't think a 10 year old's crush on hilary duff makes her a lesbian.
in short: relax!! :)
2006-10-26 21:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by elyse 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would set her down and ask her what it is that she feels for Hillary Duff. Maybe it is just her idol and this is her way of expressing that she is aspiring to be like Hilary Duff. My niece is 11 and absolutely loves her but it is a love in the way that she just wants to be like Hilary.
2006-10-26 21:00:57 · answer #6 · answered by Tasha J 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had a crush on my best friend when I was about her age. I think it is harmless. Both of us being female. It didn't mean that I choose to be with the same sex partner as an adult. My sexual orientation is for the opposite sex. But crushes happen all the time let it play out on it's own.
2006-10-26 22:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by D J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im pretty certain that at 10 years old, your daughter doesnt quite understand what she's symbolizing when she draws stuff like that.
I wouldnt be quick to jump the gun and start punishing her. Why dont you talk to your daughter about it instead?
2006-10-26 20:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. She is not having any unusual feelings for Hillary. She is young and lots of girls have crushes on females without any need for concern.
2006-10-27 00:47:44 · answer #9 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my..she is just 10, and looks up to her, that's all, she is a healthy normal 10 year old. when I was 14, I had 265 framed pictures of Elton John, I grew out of it, but still listen to his music sometimes, so take it easy on her.
2006-10-26 20:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋