How do you cope with EVERYTHING?

Question

I don't think I can take any more, I'm fed up and I've had it up to here (points to neck!)
I feel like I have to do everything for everyone, even at work I have these balls and chains around my ankles. I feel like noone gives a sh*t about me, noone ever makes me a sodding cup of tea, never mind a meal. I don't want to make that effort anymore cos I get bugger all in return, nothing nada zilch. Not even the slightest appreciation. And I've got 2 bloody jobs, having a kid IS a fulltime job too!
How can I cope with this? I really feel like I'm teetering on the edge of something here, people have started noticing my hollow eyes and total despair! Finally! I mean I've lost weight, I'm exhausted!
And if I don't do everything then nobody makes dinner and we live in a pigsty with no clean clothes to wear and at work we don't meet the deadlines. Seriously it's like I'm the only one who cares.

Answer 1

i guess this sounds crazy but if more people made the effort to try as hard as you do maybe there wouldnt be so many abused and neglected children in the world i know its hard right now but someday you will be proud of yourself for being strong and taking care of your children just dont give up i will pray for you keep up the good work and try to have a good weekend

Answer 2

You sound exhausted, tired, fed up! I can see you're overworked, for sure... Are you a perfectionist or feel like you must be in control ? I mean, if there any problem anyone faces, the person has to look at herself and ask, am I doing anything to contribute to this problem? I am not saying it's you're fault, but a certain personality definitely will get you into a situation like this.

Learn to delegate tasks (ask others to do something). But that takes good speech skills. Knowing to ask in a non-threatening and nice way without sounding like a weasel...that sort of thing. Realize that YOU don't have to NEcessarily do everything. Let someone else to things for you ...for the office...for the home.
Let go of control... life won't fall apart necessarily and you'll be happier. If you're a working mom, or the only member of the family that keeps things tidy and food available, I can understand your frustration. But relax, tell others to do it (if they can) or think outside the box and get take-out. Whatever to preserve your sanity.. Do what suits you best. My words are really crap if nothing suits you.

Answer 3

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. It is heartbreaking. Perhaps you need to speak to your co-workers and employers and make them aware of the fact that they need to have a share in the work as that is what they're getting paid for.

As for the children - that is as you said a full time job - i'm not sure how old your children are but maybe you could work something out with them, like they get a treat for helping you around the house.

Also, try to get your parents or a friend to babysit once in a while so you can get out and have some fun to help you cope with the hard times.

I hope your situation changes :o) Don't do anything silly though, you're needed in life!

Answer 4

Is there anyone around like a partner who can take a bit of the pressure off you. It is no good you going under with a child to look after they need you they should be your first priority, if your job is getting you down chuck it in and find another one or explain how you are feeling. I would take a visit to the doctors and tell him the situation you are in cause by Christmas you will be on the floor if you dont act now. Chill out a bit good luck..

Answer 5

I hear ya. I have felt the same way many, many times. Still do most of the time. I don't have an answer for you, just letting you know that you're not alone in this. When my kids were younger I used to take a night out. I don't mean a night out with the girls, I mean a night out and went to a hotel. I just wanted to be alone and read and not have anyone call my name. I was also the mommy at work. It means we're great people, but we have to stop and take a break for ourselves. Do it, somehow, before you lose it and everyone thinks you're nuts. Good luck.

Answer 6

I know that it's hard..I've been there, in fact I am now..but keep you're head up high, find things that relaxes you, have a bath, read a book, go for a walk, go out with your friends, draw, listen to music. Things that will keep your mind off of the things that are bothering you. Have you tried talking to someone about the way you feel, stuff that's bothering you? If you're under 20 search the kids help phone on google,and go to the website it super helpful and benefits you a lot.

Answer 7

remeber you were at fault unfortunately from the very beginning. You teach people how to treat you. You obviously ran around doing things for others at the beginning and now realise that you get nothing in return. Sadly you give more than you receive...good news though, we do learn by our mistakes so next time take care of No.1,YOURSELF, and just make a Cuppa for you. Let the people who tend to take and not give F$*? Off.
Stop caring so much, the world isn't going to cease once you stop caring. Its time to take a stand and get these changes by taking a different approach. Obviousl peolple expect you to do these things, so surprise them! If you really want to change, I believe you can :)

Answer 8

Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and let it all fall apart around you. As long as you keep covering for them and picking up the slack, other people are not going to worry about what should be getting done.
And spending time with your child is the most important thing, 20 years down the track there will still be housework to do.
So just quietly do the stuff YOU need to do to get through the day and leave the others to grow up and look after themselves.

Answer 9

Well, your main job is of course being a mother. Do whats right for the child(s). Life is like an elivator....it has i's ups and downs and sometimes it gets stuck in either of the possitions, but it always gets fixed. A possitive outlook, is key. Take charge, Make people get off their butts and help or just simply.....leave.

Answer 10

Try and make time yourself, it is very important! Maybe join a gym, yoga, swimming or something that can get you away from everything for a hour or two. It will make all the difference. If people don't appreciate you at least appreciate yourself, you and your family will benefit from you being more relaxed.