He walked out on my mother and brother and I when I was 12. I watched him walk away. He would maintain a relationship with my brother but not with me. He invites my brother for xmas and holidays, not me. He was supposed to look after me for 2 weeks when my mum was out of the country and I was 15, he dropped me off home alone after 2 days. I used to go out of my way to try and maintain contact with him but it became obvious he wanted nothing to do with me so the last 12 years have come and gone without him in my life at all. I am leaving in a few months, moving abraod, eloping, and I won;t be back. Should I contact him before i go? I am sure he will hear about it from my brother and I am sick of always being the bigger person when it comes to him.
2006-10-26 19:28:39 · 12 answers · asked by BlondeBarbie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think metting him will do no good to you until he is ready to take the initiative himself too and has this love for you in his heart. Instead write a long letter avoiding all the pain he cause but narrating all the pain you felt because he was always so distant to you though you tried your best. Narrate all about your pain, your struggles to approach him and how you were heartbroken when he always seemed to be so distant from you. Do not accuse him but tell what you felt in all those times. Say that you are moving away but you would always miss the moments you dreamt you had spent with your father and the memories that you could have with him. Put all the burden of emotions down on paper. Leave him the letter with your photo and elave it at that. Pass on the burden. That will be the most appropriate way. You have done your best. Going to meet him will give him one more opportunity to reject you but he may or may not read the letter as he likes. Anyway, if he ever regrets his doings, at least he will have the satisfaction of having a letter from you. You may or may not mention your future contact number and address in the letter to give him the link. That is the best that you can do. Then, you can easily move on with peace at heart that you did the best that anyone can do, given your situation.
2006-10-26 19:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What goes around, comes around........he and his woman will have a lot to deal with later,,,.if it hasn't got to them yet! There is only so much you can do to keep a relationship alive and it sounds like you have done all you possibly could do and it's time to move on with your own life. Even if he finds out later that you left the country without saying "goodbye", do you think he will be "hurt"? I don't think so! I have learned that there will be a lot of people in our lives that really matter and those that really don't, even if they are of our blood. That is what this man was in your life for, a lesson, to show you what not to do, now his job is finished. Spend your love on someone who deserves it and when you have your own children, you can use this valuable lesson to know just how to love them. That's what adversity is, a lesson. Have a good life baby girl and know that you are loved by many people who count and especially by God.
2016-05-22 00:09:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that even though he has done all those things and has not been a part of your life for the past 12 years because he chose not to does not mean that you cannot make peace with him. before you leave go and meet up with him and chat and so forth since once you are moving abroad who knows when you will come back to see him or your family either. "forgive him but do not foget "that is what my bf tells me! let go of the past and make peace with him once and for all before you go! maybe go with him to lunch, walk around and talk and just spend a day with him trying to catch up. if you conctact him you seem more mature and as though nothing has been bothering you and as the better person! pray to God to give him some wisdom and to help you overall! and congrats on you getting married! best of luck!
2006-10-26 19:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by icycrissy27blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way your father is now with you has probably a lot to do with the main reason why he walked out in the first place. Yeah, you should talk to him before you leave, keep a soft tone to your voice and casually ask him why he left before, and the truth. (i'm assuming that you might not know his reason for leaving)...Closure and clarity will make you feel much better and have lesser burden in your mind and heart.
2006-10-26 20:00:11 · answer #4 · answered by kekoa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is right for your conscience sake........visit him before you leave. If you left and then God forbid something happened to him and you never got the chance to say goodbye you may never have peace within. You be the bigger person and that way you can leave with a clear conscience :)
2006-10-26 22:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FREE PASS. Move and don't look back. See your brother and leave an address with your brother though. Us brothers worry about our sister from time to time.
2006-10-26 19:32:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just write him a brief note telling him of your plans & leave it at that.
let him be the one to contact you after that.
it is NO excuse but some men just can't handle having daughters
2006-10-26 19:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send him a recent photo before you go.
girl, that man just doesn't care about you.
it's so bad, I think you probably aren't his child.
2006-10-26 19:32:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea hit him up. cos its the right thing to do. and if u dont, ull probably regret it
2006-10-26 19:33:25 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't keep in touch with him and go to take your live
2006-10-26 19:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by mohamed a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋