I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now and cant get her to trust me. I've never cheated on her and love her to bits and have done since I first saw her. The problem is that I have a bit of a past as a slag, in 2 years I slept with about 30 people, and constantly had at least 2 girls on the go. That was a while ago now and I've grown up but how can I prove it to her?
2006-10-26 19:27:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi Jonny Be Good, huummmm, you are obviously trying at this relationship and your girl friend isn't helping to progress. Yes she has every right to be thinking what she does, but when you did those things, you and her weren't together were you? She's judging you on your past mistakes. So what if you slept with 30 people, you must have been a popular person. She's got to realize that you've committed yourself to her now. You've done your part by being loyal to her, unless she has been stung badly in the past, she needs to have trust in you, otherwise you'll both be wondering what your limits are. You've admitted to your past actions, what more can a girl ask, there's plenty of people in relationship who don't know a thing about their partner past relation history. Maybe your girlfriend feels a little left out on all the actions you've experienced. Good luck and I wish you all the best.
2006-10-26 19:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by Mezza 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find me anyone who hasn't led your sort of life when they thought they were free and available. We cannot change anything that has happened in the past but we can change what is happening in the present. Most people have multi partners because they love the physical side of the sex and the bodily contact. It doesn't mean that they love that person it just means that they love what is happening to them when they have mind blowing orgasms with people who are sometimes one offs and at others total strangers. It is possible that your girlfriend is judging you on how she was herself in the past. Maybe she was a slag and has changed but cannot see it happening to you. People usually judge others through their own previous actions. I suggest that you spend a lot of time with her. Don't make any excuses about doing anything else. The times when she is likely to be suspiscious of you is likely to be in the evenings when she knows you could pop off to the pub or the bar or meet somebody. Strangely she won't ever be wary of you during the day when you could be banging the secretary at the office. People have their lonely times during the day and you have to identify these times and then be with her, take her out, do a sport together to show her that you are for her, not make excuses about going off to see someone, buy her flowers with a message, take her for a meal, sit in a museum for six hours staring at the same painting and talking little but holding her hand, never talking about your past, never comparing her to anyone you knew before, always introducing her as your love. And finally when you address her try this one 'What do you think about this my love" ? She'll learn to trust you and it won't happen anymore. Believe me if you want her to trust you you have to give her all your time. Otherwise it won't work.
2006-10-26 19:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what has been said before - did you admit this to her or did she find out from someone else? That makes a big difference.
Tell her everything she needs to know - do not gloss things over, even if they are not pretty. Answer her questions but warn her she may not like what she is about to hear. She will respect your honesty - even if she doesn't like the facts and that will turn to trust in time. Do not hide things or act secretly as all it takes are silly lies to break the trust again. She will probably also then learn to trust you in that she can explain her insecurities without fear of rejection. I know this works from my own experience. Good luck.
2006-10-26 20:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by cognitionstudios 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Johnny
You need to give your girlfriend time, 6 months isn't long but you are still together. Although your past is an issue with her time is a healer, she will come round and see a change in you......thats if you have really changed.
Don't over crowd your feelings for her, let her see the real you.
Good luck.
2006-10-26 21:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by BigD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did u tell her about your past yourself or did she find out by someone else? i think the more u pay her lots of attension treat her good sooner or later she'l come round. but if she cant trust you fool stop then its a big problem as you cant just make someone trust you even if u and ur partner want to. comes natural with me and my partner. sounds like you really love your girl so hang in there things may chance, hope all works out in the end :)
2006-10-26 19:38:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might not be you, she might have a past which really hurt her and has a problem with trusting men, give it time she will come around.
spend more time with her show her that you love her, show her that you will never cheat on, it might take time for her to trust you but it's early days yet.
2006-10-26 20:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe b/c you had a bad experience it is normal she don't trust you but you don't have to give up maybe she needs time just for a while don't do any thing that will make her unsecure , as much as you can try to pass your time with her tell her you love her avoid your ex- s then she will come around
2006-10-26 21:39:31 · answer #7 · answered by kiki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell her you are a changed man..it will take a bit of time for her to fully trust you but Im sure she is worth the wait.
2006-10-27 08:24:08 · answer #8 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesnt want to hear your sorry, she wants to know what the hell you were thinking, right now shes embarrassed and hurt, make it sound like no big deal (you do deserve a big punch in the gut a$shole anyways...) Just be like "hun listen(dont say babe she might think your tryin to play her) I tell my guys everything i didnt know it would be such a big deal! I wasnt like, giving them details but being a guy I had to say something. Imagine like, going out with an amazing guy and your not aloud to tell your friends, would you be able to resist or would you have to tell at least one of your closest friends? We all make mistakes, its not like my friends think your a **** or something please forgive me, tell me how to make it up to you really I didnt mean to hurt you" if shes a good girlfriend shell be alittle mad and make you do something then forgive you but for the most part youll probly be good.
2016-05-22 00:09:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to show her that she can trust you, and for her to trust you, it will take some more time then just the 6 months you've been together so little time to be worried about being trusted like that, just show her, let her have your passwords and stuff, spend your days with her if you can.
2006-10-26 19:34:00 · answer #10 · answered by ParadoxZero 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋