What is appropriate gift giving etiquette for my girlfriend's family?

Question

I have been dating my girlfriend for 9 months and in addition to getting her a gift for x-mas, I was planning to get a small gift for her mom/dad (not individually, but a gift they could share and both appreciate). Mind you, just a nice gesture. Anyway, she has been hinting that I should get her Mom and Dad individual gifts, as well as a gift for her brother, sister, and nephew.

Is is me, or is this really appropriate. I have never done this with past girlfriends. And, it's not like I'm trying to be cheap -- I am just wondering: who's tradition is out of whack here, mine or hers?

Answer 1

Your tradition is more appropriate by general standards. It's a bit rude of her to ask you to buy gifts for a tonne of her family members - especially if you aren't really close with them. She probably just doesn't want anyone to feel excluded, but it's not fair to put that kind of responsibility on someone she's been dating for nine months.

I think one gift and a nice card would be appropriate for her parents. I don't think there is any need to get a gift for everyone in her family. Otherwise, you can do a different approach and try getting a gift the whole family can share - like a board game or bottle of wine (depending on the ages, of course).

You're not obligated to buy every family member gift. Maybe next time she hints, explain that you don't feel comfortable giving everyone a gift but you want her family to know that you've thought of them.

Answer 2

omit Manners tells us to deliver a present formerly the marriage or after the honeymoon, extremely than carting a present wrapped equipment to the reception, as though it have been a small youngster's party. Her motive is that hosts are already very busy and don't decide for the extra burdens of accepting presents, protecting music of gave which equipment, securing presents from injury and theft, and then freighting all that shipment homestead on the tip of an prolonged stressful day. Use your ultimate stationery for a handwritten letter of congratulation and goodwill. On a separate piece of notice paper, tell the couple to assume a equipment once you have recovered from the confusion of moving. carry this to the reception instead of a present.

Answer 3

Just gifts for the girlfriend and something small for the parents, if you want. You are not obligated to buy for the whole family. Its the spirit of the holiday (Holy Day) not the gifts that matter.

Answer 4

maybe her parents are about to divorce (in which case individual gifts would be better).

noone's tradition is out of whack. you are giving the gift. do what feels right to YOU.

trust me when i tell you that her parents are NOT expecting anything. you are young and need to be spending your money on things like college, rent, engagement ring, etc.. they understand. don't get them anything 'over the top'. the family gift was a good idea. (someone else's answer)

Answer 5

You don't need to get stuff for everyone. That's weird in my opinion. Some small thing for the folks is a nice gesture, like a bottle of liquer or some chocolates or something.

Answer 6

I think it would be appropriate if you got them a gift for their home, not individual gifts. She can gift everyone she wants, however she wants.

Answer 7

I would get something small but nice for the parents. perhaps a nice gift basket with things they might enjoy.

Answer 8

i think you're right on this one. #1 - you've only been going together for 9 months...you're not married. #2 - you do what you're comfortable doing.

i think a joint gift for mom and dad is a great idea.

Answer 9

hmmm I think a joint present is a good idea as its somehting they can share together. Even something little like a box of chocs is still a nice treat. Id stick with this.....