I'm a 29 y/o female who has just started dating a 35 y/o male. We met online, and have been talking for a couple of months. We had sex on our 2 date and have seen each other 4-5 more times and each time had sex. Because of work schedules we can't talk on the phone sometimes we go several days without talking. I've been hurt badly in the past and would love to believe this could be "the one" but i find it hard to believe some of the things he says. So i guess i wondering is did i ruion my chances by sleeping with him too soon, or is there still hope, and if there is hope, how will i know. I need some guys advice.
2006-10-26 19:18:38 · 11 answers · asked by nicuajw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
At 29, you should be able to determine how this is going by yourself. You are the only one that knows how he talks with you and treats you.
Has he given you any kind of reason to think he is "the one"?
Most people have had sex by the 1st date these days. So at least you held out for the second one. lol
BUT only seeing each other 4-5 times in a couple of months, that does NOT seem right. You are his sex partner when you both have time. Leave him alone and wait for "the one" to show up. "The one" will spend alot of time WITH you, not just having sex.
It seems you want more from this than he does, so stop now, or you are going to be hurt again. If you find what he says hard to believe, don't believe him. Chances are, he is lying and just getting you in bed....
Take care of your self. The Internet is a great way to find "sex" partners, but not always soul mates.
2006-10-26 19:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by Mary D 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is not knowing you nor your partner then it's hard to answer this question fairly....
Yes he could see you as a sex object, but also it all depends on the relationship in the end.... If you just meet up and have sex and not spend quality time together then yes to him you could be just a sex object.... Not necessarily having sex too early can mean this.... But a majority of the time it could be seen like that....
When you say due to work schedules you can't talk on the phone who made that decision, seems weird... You can still text each other and communicate... Just because you don't talk all the time again doesn't mean the relationship is bad....
Next time you hook up try jsut talking instead of just hopping into bed with each, spend some time being with each other....
We've all been hurt in our lives some more than others... You'll learn from your experiences, in time you're know if he's the one....
It's hard to explain each person considers love in a different way but you yourself will know that you miss hearing his voice, being with him, need to see him, want to talk to him, have an aching feeling when not around him, love every minute you're with him, hate being apart....
Asking for guys advise is the worse thing no disrespect to men but some will give you bad advise and other will try and help you as much as possible.... Others will just see you as a sex object because they're that type of guy and don't know you from adam.... Jsut because someone sleeps with someone on the 2nd date doesn't mean they're a bad person, these things happen in the heat of the night and deep down most people have done the same thing....
Keep communicating throughout your relationships as this is a very important thing....
Remember be you always and trust yourself and what you're thinking, try and keep your self respect, try to hold back longer if you can, let them like you for you and not what they can get out of you....
You're still young enough to still enjoy yourself and have so much life ahead of you....
Ruined your chance not necessarily he's come back, but for how long I can't say.... To test out this theory like I said next time you get together don't have sex and see if he contacts you again... If he didn't then that really answers your question.... If he does you don't always have to have sex each time.... I know it's hard or harsh but you're still in the early stages of your relationship, hopefully you'll have a happy ending.... If not then I'm so sorry, but it'll make you strong and more wise for the next time....
Take care and good luck....
2006-10-27 02:39:31 · answer #2 · answered by K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well at his age sleeping wit you should not be an issue unless he is morbidly immature. I think the distance between the two of you plus your work schedules is causing the problems. There has to be a happy medium somewhere ...don't throw the towel in so soon, things may change for the better you never know..
2006-10-27 02:34:09 · answer #3 · answered by chubbie dumplins 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hurt your feelings but he's probably having sex with someone else he's met online. Anyone will say anything to eat *****. In the future - stay away from sex and try to know potential suitors as people first.
2006-10-28 22:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, yes.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??
You should have started the relationship off by getting to know eachother and seeing if y'all are even compatible, not by putting out.
He got what he wants, and I doubt he'll pursue it any further than a sexual relationship, especially if he doesn't call often or seem interested other than only for sex.
Wam bam thank ya ma'am.
Sorry and peace.
2006-10-27 02:24:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've got a lot to learn. Yes you have screwed it up. Do not go sleeping with someone so quickly. Make them prove their feelings for you first, then you won't have to wonder about exactly where he stands. Make him prove to you what he says to you. You put that stuff on lock down until you are sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is sincere (preferable the night of the "I do's").
Remember, men always lie to get laid. That's a fact of life.
2006-10-29 20:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by HazelEyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ruined. You are forever in his mind a sex object instead of a person. Bummer!
2006-10-27 02:21:19 · answer #7 · answered by Star 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if u love each other than there is not the problem.bcoz what happenned was from the both side.dont worry ask him that he loves u or not
2006-10-27 05:17:10 · answer #8 · answered by kp91082 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's ok, you needed some sex.
there's no law says he's only using you, but how are you two going to have no-sex dates when you both don't have time??
2006-10-27 02:51:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
r u kidding? have sex with him so soon??? and met online also?????
bet you he's using you for sex only... you've ruined your chances by sleeping with him too soon!!!
2006-10-27 02:38:21 · answer #10 · answered by wat_more_can_i_say? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋