My best friend has been in a relationship with this girl for about a year and a half now. She has also been a good friend of mine for nearly as long. Today when he went to work, she and I went on a walk which turned into a 3 hour conversation. She has started to act differently around me lately; more "friendly" flirting in combo with more open conversation about things like their relationship and the past. I have also started to feel something for her, but what am I suppost to do? He is going in the marines next october, and she and I will be going to the same college. Some suggestions would be much appreciated. - Matt
2006-10-26 19:00:07 · 20 answers · asked by Matt W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Boy, that's a tough one. Sounds like she may be having feelings for both of you. This is your call. Regardless of whether your best friend is joining the Marines, you probably should give her some distance. If she asks why, be the bigger person and tell her it's because you don't want to hurt THEIR relationship. She'll either thank you or get defensive and say that she wants to be a good friend to you or more. Either way, you put the ball in her court. This sort of thing happened to me once (I was the girl) and my boyfriend's friend started to separate himself from me in order not to hurt the relationship. That was all it took and I totally fell for him. Who knows why?! I also have a friend who married for ex-boyfriend's best friend, so a lot can happen. For now, space would be best. Things will work themselves out. Good luck!
2006-10-26 19:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by WonderingWanderer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch thats a tough situation.
I think you should let the cards fall where they may. Don;t do anything out of place, same usual routine, and see what she does. Maybe she was just feeling neglected and wanted some attention from you. Maybe it is more. Wait and see what her intentions are.
It depends what kind of person you are. How good a best friend is he? Will he be around when you are 65? If you don't feel you can betray him then when she makes a move you need to be direct and upfront about that. If you do want to explore anything with her, do not be the guy with someone elses girl. If you do this it'll come n bite you in the ***.
If she ends it first,and you think the relationship with her has the potential to be something worthwhile, enjoy. You;d hate to live your whole life wondering what might have been.
2006-10-27 02:06:09 · answer #2 · answered by BlondeBarbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your a good honest friend, tell her the truth that you're starting to get feelings for her and let her know you'd rather stay apart than cause problems, and let your friend know that as well.
If you say nothing, and just stop being around her, you may dwell on the idea of (what if we could have been together). Maybe you may act on it years later. It's happened to poeple before. Better to get it out in the open to get that closure you need.
If you tell her, tell her when you are alone with her so there are no distractions of anyone else, and so the message is clear to her. If she has feelings for you, and decides to tell you, you will have to work that disscussion out with her. Inevidably, you will have to choose between her and your friend, you most likely won'thave both.
Or you can take the coward way out and try to mess with her behind your friends back, and cause a world of trouble for everyone, and risk loosing both the girl and your friend.
Or, you could just pretend you don't have feelings for her and act as if nothing is wrong, and don't cross the lines. Poeple tend to like it better when you hide the truth. I personally go the honest route no matter how difficult it may be to make sure everything is said and dealt with.
2006-10-27 02:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very dangerous grounds Matt, so thread carefully. Firstly I would say just continue being friends with her. You realise that you are developing feelings for her so maybe you should try to control them at this early stage. I think you know that you want those warm feelings & so you are giving in to them. Then all you can do is wait until the 2 of them break up befor you can make your move with her. Unless ofcourse you feel that his friendship is not as important as you being with her. I think you see that him going away is some kind of opportunity to be with her? If thats the case than you may as well cheat with her now. Think about this situation carefully because you dont want to end up as a third wheel. Good luck
2006-10-27 02:07:10 · answer #4 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't betray your friend. Imagine how you would feel if he did the same thing to you. If she's all into 'emotionally connecting' with you and talking about her relationship, back out! Your 'feeling' is just the result of the connection with her. Go find someone else. And by the way, tell your friend about what his girlfriend is doing. He'll appreciate the fact that you are coming to him about it.
2006-10-27 02:04:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you know for sure she likes you that way.Some girls flirt with a lot of people and not mean no harm. If you have feelings for her think about if the shoe was on the other foot. Would your best friend do you that way? Good Luck!!
2006-10-27 02:10:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two need to draw the damn line.. Now what kind of friend are you and my goodness what kind of girlfriend is she? If she is hitting on you and going through the motions believe me..She WILL DO THE SAME TO YOU !!! Your friendship is worth more than a confused flirting fluzzie like her....If she doesn't cut it out and you can't seemed to control yourself then you need to add some distance between you two to avoid anything you'll regret !!
2006-10-27 02:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by chubbie dumplins 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you initiate a relationship with her, just assume you will destroy your friendship. If you can accept that - go ahead. But unless you feel that this could be the love of your life, it will hardly be worth it. Are you under 25 years old? If so, I would say definitely it is not worth it!
2006-10-27 02:03:53 · answer #8 · answered by Star 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a great idea to go steal your friend's girlfriend. You should divert your attention to other girls. You may as well try SinglesNet Dating where you'll meet people who may have the same problem as yours. Here's the site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.php
2006-10-27 02:17:04 · answer #9 · answered by cicily W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you value your friendship with you friend then walk away. you are oversteping the line in the fact that if you do this or carry on you are not much of a freind
2006-10-27 02:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by devsmash 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋