i am a mom of two boys. a five and a one year old boy.i have never left them alone and gone off. since i am a stay at home mom , i spend much time with them as possible. the problem is that i have got a wedding invitation fro india and i would love to go there for 4 days. india has always been a dream for me. but i am too scared to leave them with my hubby. he hasnot ever taken care of the kids and i know he will freak out. what to do? please help me? if i go what are the precautions that i should take?what should i do before i go? should i not go at all?
2006-10-26 18:36:29 · 13 answers · asked by atahsina 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First of all, your husband might surprise you and do a fine job with the kids. Things might not be done the same way you'd do it, but they'd get done.
Second, is there anyone who can stay with the boys during the day? Or day and night, like your mom, a sister, a friend, or other relative? It might help them to have a familiar face around and not disrupt the family routines that much.
As to how to make the separation easier, you can make short videotapes of yourself for them, but keep in mind this might also make them miss you more. You can leave audiotapes of yourself (same concerns) or pictures for them. Of course, you can always call them, too, once a day.
This would also be a good time to get out a globe and calendar and show them where you are and when you're leaving/coming home. You can start to prepare them early, and of course they're not going to get all of it, especially the one year old, but the five year old may be able to grasp the concepts of another place and counting the days.
It sounds like an awesome trip, and though it's hard to leave your babies, you need time away and they need to learn that you can leave and come back and they're okay. Have fun.
2006-10-26 18:45:49 · answer #1 · answered by TeacherLady 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go and enjoy yourself and when you get back your husband will appreciate you more. I recently had my 5th child by c-section and my husband stayed home for the first time to look after the children by himself. He had dinner prepared in the freezer all the washing and ironing up to date and put away. So all he had to do was take the 2 older ones to school and look after the 2 younger ones during the day. By day 2 he asked me to come home and I said no because our son was born small he had to stay in special care for a few days. I been back at home now for 4 weeks and he has been helping me so much and has realised that my job is no as easy as it seems. I'm not saying he didn't help out before because he did but he helps out a lot more now. Your husband will be fine with the kids by himself just prepare meals in the freezer and make sure he knows where the clothes are kept and go to india and enjoy yourself its only for 4 days.
2006-10-26 21:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont really think you are being fair to either the children or the father in not ever leaving them alone with him for any time period; he needs to know how to be a parent also ;
have you given any thought as to what would happen if your were sick & had to be in hospital?
there is certainly nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum- but you also need interests for yourself away from the family for you to continue to grow as a person & for when your children are in school.
why are you afraid to leave them with your husband?? if he has never looked after them ; then how do you know he will freak out??
he had something to do with the birth of the children so he should be also participating in their care.
before you go off to the wedding start leaving your husband & children home together for say an hour at a time - building up to a day - if you have that amount of time before you go
believe me - the boys may be a bit unsettled at first but it will become a game for them & you will probably miss them more than they miss you.
your husband may need to arrange to take time off work to stay home with them if you cant arrange something for them during the work days
do make sure that your husband is aware of any boundaries the children have; their routine- nap times; bed times;meals- write it all down if necessary
you owe it to yourself to have this time for you.- then once you come back you can work on maybe getting a relative to look after the children occassionally so that you & your husband can have some time out together- it is important that you start to do this now in order to maintain your relationship
the whole family will benefit from you going away so enjoy it
2006-10-26 19:03:59 · answer #3 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is only 4 days your husband should be able to handle them and if not are his or your parents near enough to call for help. you can also leave a list of thing he should do and use with your kids like medicine and when to put them to bed you know just directions on how to do what you do all the time but you really should start leaving you kids for a couple of hour so they get use to the fact that mommy will have to leave sometimes and they can't always be with you but they know you will come back it will make it a lot easier when you go and it will show them that daddy can do the same things as mommy. good luck
2006-10-26 18:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by krazy4_coke2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to the wedding and take a break from the kids. Just leave the numbers where you can be reached, and check in a few times while you are gone. Leave checklists for him or if all else fails he can call his mom or your mom to get help! Nobody will let anything bad happen to your little ones. If he doesn't lose them, they don't break a bone, and he remembers to feed and change them.. the rest is natural. I think he can handle it.
2006-10-26 18:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by masterdvrsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't go without giving him a few test runs first to see how he does! Leave the kids alone with him as much as possible, even go stay the night at your parents house or somewhere & see how it goes. The kids are probably going to cry for you a LOT! This way you'll be close by & can come home & show them that you are not abandoning them.
2006-10-26 18:40:49 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My heart says Mom You need time for you too!
However I would also have all my ducks in a row....a few trial runs and also seek outside help. Do you have relatives that live near by.
You say Freak out....meaning?
For you to truly enjoy yourself while being away do a few trail runs and make lists of how and when...they really help me.
and
when you get back....or starting now....get a babysitter you are only hurting yourself by not having time for you and letting your children learn social skills at the same time.
Good luck
2006-10-26 19:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the Wedding>>> They can bond while you are gone ~ besides if you r with them all the time they need some time with Dad to see how a man does it.
2006-10-26 18:45:58 · answer #8 · answered by Me 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask his mother to come and stay for a time while you go to India. She would probably love it.
2006-10-26 18:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO TO THE WEDDING. THAT IS THEIR DAD. LET HIM TAKE CARE OF THEM WHILE YOU ARE AWAY. DO YOU KNOW HOW NICE IT WOULD BE TO GET AWAY FOR FOUR DAYS. A FIVE YEAR OLD AND A ONE YEAR OLD CAN KEEP YOU VERY BUSY. JUST FILL HIM IN ON ALL OF THEIR HABITS AND THEIR LIKES AND DISLIKES. LET HIM KNOW IF THEY ARE ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING. ITS ABOUT TIME HE START KEEPING THE KIDS SOMETIMES. YOU ARE JUST NERVOUS TO LEAVE THE CHILDREN FOR A FEW DAYS. HOPE YOU MAKE IT TO THE WEDDING.
2006-10-26 18:43:30 · answer #10 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋