my daughter's dad has never been around and is in and out of prison - mostly in. his mom and family call ocassionally and send gifts,etc. but we're not super close and i flat out don't trust some people in the family - now that we've moved closer they want more to do w/ my daughter and i'm not sure what to do - i would never put my daughter in a bad position - i just don't know what to say to them. i have no problem taking her to see them but i don't want to leave her and they want her to stay weekends, etc. i need advice!
2006-10-26 18:28:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your daughter is your primary concern, not the feeling of others. Look out for her best interest, and perhaps in time, these people will gain your trust, but it takes time. If they don't understand, explain it. You are not trying to keep your daughter from family, just from people who have yet to prove themselves. Do not do anything you are uncomfortable with. Mother's intuition is best.
2006-10-26 18:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by bigwheeler19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this situation before and it is very difficult to deal with; either you become a "snob" and don't talk to them or you may be putting your child at risk by exposing her to adult behavior that would not approve of.
I can say this much: The type of family you describe is typically very caring and loving of family members, but your child may pick up some bad habits and influences from them. I suggest that if you cannot completely ignore them, then limit the amount of visits. About staying the weekend, tell them you are too attached to your daughter and you cannot be away from her. They should understand you as a mother. If you do that, then you can never let your daughter spend the weekend with anyone anywhere, because if they find out....
2006-10-27 01:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you are her mother, you have the final say so about your daughter and you are telling them they can see her but you will not allow her to spend weekends with them. You have your reasons and you know what is best for your daughter. If they get mad, too bad. Your daughter's safety and well being comes first.
2006-10-27 01:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you know what you have to do...number one be careful and keep your daughter safe.
You're thinking in the best interest of your daughter. If they offer to watch her say things like>>>oh that is very kind of you however we have a routine or we prefer for her to be with us, she likes to be in her own surrounding, sometimes she wakes at night and needs me to fall back asleep, oh I don't think I could go a night with out her I know I wouldnt get any sleep at all.
Visits with you are okay. I have a relative that loves children however when she watches them they always, I mean always get hurt (she doesn't really watch them) I started doing saying things like this and/ or involving her in play dates>>would you like to go to the park with us, school field trips, birthday parties, fun things where she could interact with my children however I was there to supervise.
Hoping your husband is supporting you and your concerns.
Trust your heart.
2006-10-27 02:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the childs mother and guardian ... if you're not comfortable letting her stay ... then she doesn't stay .... simple as that
It's not as if you won't let them see her .... you didn't say how long ago you moved or how old she is ... but given time ... you may come to trust them more and things will settle ... just tell them that you're not ready to allow sleepovers just yet ... they have to be patient and earn your trust
2006-10-27 01:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first priority is your daughter's safety. All you need to tell her dad's family is that she is not available and leave it at that. Even though they are related to your daughter, you don't owe them any explanation. If they keep asking and you keep declining, pretty soon they'll stop asking.
2006-10-27 01:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by mpicky2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them Oh I am sorry I just don't believe its OK for little ones to stay over night. Just call me over protective.
2006-10-27 01:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by dianehaggart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your childs safety is first...if you don't trust them, then do NOT let her stay
2006-10-27 01:47:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only let the ones you really trust keep her
2006-10-27 01:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋