Lately it has been hell with my relationship. He stays out til 4-5am 3-4x's a week lately. According to him all of his buddies miss him and he's just hanging out. He's like the#1 barber in our city and he does literally have thousands of friends, I have witnessed SOME of the times where they have asked him to go out. He takes care of my two sons which arent his, as if they were his own and he has a daughter which I love and she loves me to death, he pays his portion of the bills and makes up for my half lots of times when I dont have it, and wiil do anything I ask. I love him with all my heart but to me it seems like he's putting my wishes on the backburner so he can hang out or be with another woman he always has his phone on vibrate, to me that means you dont want me to hear who is calling.He says he really enjoys hanging out and will not stop doing so for me. I did not ask him to stop i just said stop coming in so late. is that so much 2 ask 4 or am i being a *****. HELP ME!!!!
2006-10-26 17:58:50 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi queen, I'll try my best to help. This relationship seems pretty messy as far as I can see. If you want to stay with this man, just know that most likely, he doesn't feel (much) emotional love for you, since you know he's cheating. It's the best to end this, and move on if you can. Being a little insecure does not make you a *****, but this action should've called your need for love, and he would've noticed if he was really paying attention to you. Emotional love is something that you feel or you don't. Symptoms of being in love includes: 1) high will to pay attention towards the person they are in love with, 2) high desire to gain/give affection from/to the person they are in love with. Please decide whether you leave or not, but I recommend it. I wouldn't want you to stay just so you can "use" him either... it's not right.
2006-10-26 18:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by DN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you arent believing he's out with his buddies unless he is bisexual.Has he ever offered to let you hang out with him?I have a feeling you answered your own question there might be another woman involved.As a guy I do like to hang out with my Buddies but if there is a good woman at home she comes first.Paying the bills doesnt make a great person just means he wants to make sure he has a place to come home too in case the other woman thing doesnt work out and he knows that will keep you happy but he isnt caring about your feelings by going out all the time.I would give him a choice his buddies or you.If he really loves you like you love him he will make the right choice.Good luck.
2006-10-26 18:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Steve S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the bahviour is new - i would be slightly suspicious. You have done the right hing by saying he can still go out etc but to be home at a reasonable hour - that was not wrong of you to say......but if he says he wont stop doing this - i would explain to him that this is not acceptable.....or....you should go out with him sometimes to see what goes on. Overall i think he should respect & understand where you're coming from....your not being an asshole. Ask him how he would feel if it was you out till all hours of the morning & see what he has to say. If in the end he refuses to comprimise....piss him off.....there are men out there who don't try to pull this type of thing....a realationship is built on trust & respect & i don't think he's giving you much of a reason to do either. Good luck.
2006-10-26 18:35:29 · answer #3 · answered by bellajezz 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My anchor is the spirit of business. Some good days plenty of questionable ones. Look at the things that make you happiest, focus on and do those things, make YOU whats happening, the kids are where its at having fun. He will be interested in why everything seems to be going on at home everyone happy and all. He probably want to stay home and get some happy.
2006-10-26 18:10:55 · answer #4 · answered by double clutch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get real if I had a girl friend doing that her *** would be gone the first time. You sound real nieve to think he is staying out all that time and being faithful. There are 2 things you can do leave immediatly unless your ugly and nobody else would want you or stay there and pray you don't catch aids.
2006-10-26 18:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by hank 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say considering all the positives you mentioned that you should just let him get it out of his system. The more you nag the more he will do it. Use a little reverse sociology and tell him maybe you are right honey just don't wake me when you come in or something like that. He will realize sooner or later what he has and value you more then you will want.
2006-10-26 18:05:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I keep my phone on vibrate because it's rude and annoying to have a ringer go off all of hte time.
You can't stay with someone just because your kids like him. You're not happy in the relationship and the kids are going to learn from what they see. I'm surprised his buddies miss him seeing that he spends all of his time with them. You've already had "the talk" about this one. You deserve to be with someone who WANTS to be with you.
Leave him.
2006-10-26 18:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by beccamt2006 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I struggle with putting other's feeling before my own quite often, but I'm perfectly able to advise others in this area. If this really, truly bothers you then you should confront them on it. If they're unreceptive to your requests then you should walk. With that said, you also need to be prepared for the pain that you will undoubtedly feel from the loss.
2006-10-26 18:05:30 · answer #8 · answered by Deleted 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really cared about you he would care that this is bothering you, and since he is being deffensive for no reason that can mean there is something to hide. Do what is right for you, not what you think will make other people happy.
2006-10-26 18:03:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
where theres smoke there is a fire. You do need to see for yourself if he is cheating on you. I would sit in dark shadows and watch. Sounds like you should be concerned. I know how men are to much not to be suspecious.
2006-10-26 18:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋