My girlfriend and I have had a long history. We've been going out for a year and a half but lately, things haven't exactly been the best. I know it was wrong, but we both told each other we'd be together forever but she's suddenly saying she's not sure; people change. She's been getting more distant too...I've made mistakes, however none that should ever suggest my love towards her has ever dimmed or that I've cheated on her...I love her to death and I've given up pretty much a social life to try and make her happy...She's changing..and I'm afraid I may not be in the new picture.
2006-10-26 17:44:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We are not the ones you should be asking!!! Ask her to tell you what is going on,, but tell her no answer is the wrong answer.. Or right for that fact!
2006-10-26 17:47:43 · answer #1 · answered by kitkatish1962 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year and a half is right about the time that you would see if both of you are fit for each other for the rest of your lives. If she had been good before, and is now inconsistent, most likely she no longer feels love. I know that you are thinking that's stupid, because she's still with you, but I'm talking about the emotion of love, not the logical part of it. If you use your logic, you'd believe that she still loves you, and it's just that you two need to talk this over, that's all. When it comes to emotions, it's something you feel (you either feel it strongly, somewhat, or you lose it completely). Right now, she may be in the "somewhat" range (because of her inconsistency), and there may still be a way to turn this thing around. I'm wondering what kind of mistakes you made? Do you know how to correct it? Are you willing to do so? These are the questions you ask before you decide to correct your mistakes. Everytime you make a mistake, look deep down and see if it is really a mistake. Then apologize right away if it is... Never wait a day later, and call her on the phone or something and tell her that you are sorry and that you love her. You say that you've sacrificed everything for her already? By the time you make it to marriage, you'll have nothing left! Maybe you should've been wiser, and saved those resources for later. If you still have something left that you haven't done for her, told her, etc., save those. Be more conservative from now on. There's also a secret that most women know, and use against a man (sometimes for good, sometimes for bad). It's called mental challenge. It keeps the man on his toes, and it's effect is so strong that it lets her use him at times while she looks for another man. Just try using this technique once, without doing too much to see how it goes. It does two things as far as I know. It lets you test how much "love" there is left in her for you, and also, it can spice up the relationship to make what was once boring more interesting for her. But mental challenge doesn't mean cheating on her. You didn't cheat, and that's good.
2006-10-26 18:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by DN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to take a stab here and suggest that since you believe that you have given up so much for this girl, maybe you have given up too much. Maybe you have made this girl your whole life. Maybe you are smothering her. She may be worried that she is going to have to take care of you rather than be an equal partner. Perhaps you have communicated to her that she owes you because you have dedicated yourself to her in a way that she is either not willing or is not capable of reciprocating. It's time to have a heart-to-heart talk. When you do, just listen. Let her spill her guts. Don't be defensive. In fact, if you say anything at all, just repeat what you heard her say to make sure that you got it right. Then, give each other some time and space to think about it all. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't. But, from what you describe, it's not going anywhere right now anyway. Good luck.
2006-10-26 17:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to come forward and confront her. ask her where your relationship is headed. The only thing you can do is love her and hope that she can love you back. Remember that things take time. I'm sure that things will turn out alright for you two in the end.
2006-10-26 17:52:36 · answer #4 · answered by Holdielocks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? Back off and give her a little space. It may suck for you, but the old saying goes, if you love something set it free. If it comes back, you know the rest.
2006-10-26 17:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in order for it to be true love you both have to love each other if you dont have that its not love and theres a better person out there for you love is paitent love is kind love is never boastfull or puffed up love is GOD and GOD is good sounds like shes no good to me and you need a better girlfriend she wants to cheat and probley allredy is cause if she had love she wouldnt treat you badly
2006-10-26 17:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by polkahaunis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋