Why is it that once l've been diagnosed with depression, Doctors and friends don't want to help.?

Question

I've been diagnosed by my Psychiatrist that l have Borderline Personality Disorder, l told my GP and he said it a hard condition to treat, all he says is keep taking antidepressants and thats it. I dont need medication l need help, l need someone to talk to. Family cant stand me , friends avoid me like to plague and l feel lost and alone. I feel like l'm going to have a breakdown and l just want to cry all the time. I hate feeling this way, l never imagined this would be my life, alone and depressed. I hate myself for letting my life spiral out of control and now l don't know how to get back on tracks. My faith in everything is gone. I can't trust people because l think they talk badly about me. I do everything for others and when they no longer need me they simply ignore me like l'm yesterdays trash. I do have feelings and they get hurt by others more often. I'm an adult and should know better but l'm afraid. What can l do?

Answer 1

Seek help from a professional. Something like this is a very big and serious issue and it would be an unfair expectation to expect your family and friends to know how to help you if you don't know how to help you. Seeking help from a professional who specializes in this will help you find the tools to be able to deal with the issues you struggle with and be able to become more in control of your own life. From there, you will find the confidence in yourself to rebuild your life and to keep your relationships with others at a healthy level.

Answer 2

Hi!
You are not alone and you have found someone to talk to. I know exactly what you are feeling and I have been dignosed with Bipolar and PTSD - I think I may have personality disorder - but not sure.

First of all, People are afraid of mental illness thanks to the media and all of the negative connotations associated with mental illness. Once I was diagnosed I felt a sense of relief and contacted everyone I could think of to let them know my diagnosis - they ran hid and did everything to avoid me.

They still call when they are desperate and need something, but cannot be found when needed. I have lost my career, family and most friends now. I take my meds and go to the doctor on a regular basis.

For some reason people now believe my feelings and moods are only due to my meds and that they are not real, So, when I am sad, I hear "You'll be fine your meds must be messed up" or "Maybe you need new meds" - I hate it!!! I think people are afraid because they cannot see it like other illnesses so maybe it really does not exist. Some people simply think it is a weakness.

Then there are those who have always known me to be strong and simply assume this too will pass.

I have learned that it's best to keep this type of illness to yourself and tell only to those who need to know. Talk to your doctor about support groups and go! When you are feeling extremely vulnerable request extra visits with the doctor. Also remember that a lot of people out there are screwed up and don't know it too. You were sensitive enought to realize there was something wrong and you cared enough to do something about it. Lots of people run to drugs, alcohol, and other addictions to alleviate their problems - you didn't which shows you are also a responsible person!

I have to wonder what woudl happen if tomorrow I called everyone and told them that I was misdiagnosed and in fact have an illness which mimicks mental illness - would be interetsing to see the outcome.
I am here if you need to talk and good luck!

Answer 3

BPD is a personality disorder. It is very difficult to treat. BPD is not something you are born with, like depression, or diabetes. Personality disorders are usually caused by a trauma, or a perceived trauma. Something that happened to you, or felt happened to you. Like abuse, or abandonment. Look it up online. there are many forums, and websites. this is probably not what you want to hear, but the only person that can really help you is you. It takes a lot of hard work, and positive self-talk. Try and find a support group, or a therapist that specializes in BPD. The best thing you can do for yourself is improve your self-esteem. Take some classes, or get in shape, or what-ever it takes to make you feel good about you, just for you. I know you can over come. It is difficult, but you can do it if you really want to.
Good luck.

Answer 4

I wish i knew what to say. The best advice i can give is to live life to its fullest. I get awful depressed alot. The most i can do is realize that life is just entirely too short to feel so bad all the time. If you feel your loneliness is serious enough that it hurts you and everyone around you, you should make the effort to go out of your way to find out what it is that makes you happy. Go places that make you feel comfortable and do something exciting that you have never dared to do before. This may only be a temporary solution, but I assume it is better than losing all the assets in your life: friends, family, and confidence.

I sincerely hope things get better for you!

Answer 5

It's interesting how when you're down or out, you find out who are your real friends. I've been there, done that.

Don't totally discount your meds, but I agree, you do need someone to talk with. I would try the meds, but also get a good counselor. Look for other friends. You will find them if you look.

Be aware that often, people have other things to talk about than just us. And there are good people out there whom you can trust. And remember, paranoia is an aspect of mental illness. Please continue or alter your treatment in accordance with what you and your doctor determine. You may find that switching doctors is what you need. Take charge of your own recovery, but don't forget to listen to what your doctors and other health care personnel say. Keep an open mind.

Another thing I would look for is a support group for people with your kind(s) of affliction. You are NOT alone. There are many of us like you. If you like, you can send me an i.m. via this system, if you have further questions, or you would like just someone with whom to talk.

Answer 6

I feel for you and I know too well what you are going through. Quite frankly it sucks. I am 46 years old and last year I was diagnosed with Biplolar. I hate having a mental illness besides not understanding it much my self. It is the stigma that goes with it. I have had friends give the flick since I was diagnosed.
Even the mental system has floors in it, I have had about 5 different doctors and only one has helped me. He has since left and I am now stuck with a fool who does not care and has no idea what he is talking about.
If you need to talk to someone and want more help, please write to me. I will try and help you, if you would like me too. I have contacts that you can get in touch with on the net.

Take care, sweetie

Kim

Answer 7

My dear, I feel for you. But you need to take matters into your own hands, seek another doctor. We always think our doctor knows all, but they don't. You need to see a psychiatrist since your own physician doesn't know how to treat you properly.
What you need is talk, talk, talk and someone who will listen unbiased. In the meantime, try to do some relaxation exercises and think good thoughts, which won't be easy. You need to take an antidepressant and if that one doesn't help you need another kind. That's the way it is, I work in a pharmacy and know not all medications that are good for one are good for the other, its with all pills like that, whether they are for blood pressure or cholesterol or depression. Please talk to your doctor soon, very soon. I know i went through it and came out of it ok, because my doctor relented and let me have my wish to see someone else.
I think he just wanted me out of his hair and caved. You are the one who knows her body and head/mind best, therefore insist on it. And to the ones that use you and give no thanks----think about this"good riddance", those are not friends, they're auqaintances.
Real friends don't let a friend down. You're more worth than they are, tell youself this. If they treat you this way, then don't socialize with them, because it's their loss and your gain. YOU'RE WORTH MORE"

Good Luck, best wishes and I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 8

Its good that you are on meds. But as far as trying to get back on track...You need a therapist that specializes in your disorder.
Therapy combines with meds is the best way for you to get a handle on things. Meds alone aren't enough. Your family and friend aren't equipped to help you with this. See a professional.
A psychiatrist is for diagnosis and medication. A therapist is for emotional support and helping you get to the bottom of things.
See a therapist along with you psychiatrist. Actually...Call your psychiatrist and ask for a recommendation for a therapist.
Good luck..there is light at the end of the tunnel...sometime you just have to walk in the dark for awhile.

Answer 9

There are treatments out there for bordline personality disorder.

DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) is one by Marsha Linehan.

Transference based psychotherapy is another...by Otto Kernberg or James Masterson.

Mentalization based therapy by Peter Fonagy.

Also, trauma based treatments such as EMDR, somatic experiencing and gestalt therapy have been helpful in treating trauma that underlies this disorder.

One of the best books I have read on the subject was "Search for the real self" by James Masterson.

Best of luck to you. Hang in there, you CAN get through this.

Answer 10

no one is talking smak about you. You sound like a good person and all you need to do is maybe get active in some program. Try Yoga or another physical activity to get you ou and meet people. Never ever look on your life and say I could have done better at this or I should have done that. You're you and you should be proud of that.