i have remarried and im now a stepdad to a 15y/o boy and a 7y/o girl. i do my best to treat them like my own(i have a 10yo son)but i cant.whenever im with them i yell at them i call them stupid,ugly,retarded and any other mean word tht i can think of at tht moment.i feel very bad about this.last month i walked in on my stepson crying and have since seen cuts on his wrist.even though their mom truely makes me happy i have been considering a divorce just for the sake of her children. should i go through with it?
2006-10-26 16:11:04 · 25 answers · asked by Simply Me 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you can not be serious. if you are, go now. just go. what kind of dumb *** woman would stay with you if you treat her kids that way? the both of you should be smacked across the back of the head.
2006-10-26 16:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
You should talk to a social worker about this. It is really easy for your dad to get full custody over you but nearly impossible for him to do so with christopher. Get a social worker to try and talk to your stepdad. I completely understand how you don't want to leave him alone. I think some professional help should be included into this matter. What your stepdad is going is really bad, he should not be yelling at children and certainly not touching them. Talk to your dad about it and someone who knows how to deal with all of this. Call the children help line.
2016-05-21 23:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't divorce their mom but let her know your concerns and talk to the kids. You owe them an apology. Children, even at the age of 15, have a tendency to personalize everything whether it was their fault or not. Adjusting to a new family member is already difficult enough without being put down. You say you can't stop yourself but the truth is you WON'T stop yourself. You wouldn't tell your boss he was stupid would you? You wouldn't tell a police officer giving you a speeding ticket that he was ugly and retarded would you? You have a choice and you have to choose not to speak to them in a derogatory manner. They may be children but they still deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Family counseling would really serve you all well by teaching you how to communicate and going to counseling will keep you all in neutral territory.
2006-10-26 16:19:39 · answer #3 · answered by 'tisJustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you divorce her, her children will only blame themselves. If I were you, I would get some counseling. It doesn't mean that you are evil if you love your biological child more than your stepchildren, but you should learn some techniques so that you don't lash out at them or treat them unfairly.
Also, the 15 year old needs help. Forget about whether or not it's your fault and get him into therapy. He might be cutting himself because he's depressed for an entirely different reason (school comes to mind) or he might be cutting himself so that he can fit into the emo cliche at school. Whatever the reason, that kind of behavior needs to stop because it's lifethreatening.
2006-10-26 16:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by pritti_dayzee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN! Those poor kids! Have you even tried to treat them as your own? Have you tried to put yourself in one of their shoes? To see there step-dad yelling at them, dissing them to their face, saying that the are stupid and ugly? How would you feel if someone called you that? If you truly love your wife, then you will change your ways for the sake of her children. Have you tried anger-management classes? Consider this. Also, as children, they think that all adults are right and tell the truth, even if the adult doesn't mean it. Why do you think the boy is cutting himself? It's you, you're the reason. If you want to be the cause of ruining your step-son's future, then don't change your ways.
2006-10-26 16:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by Meme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need help ***HOLE!! How can you do that to children in their adolescent years!! Right now they are developing how they feel about themselves, it doesn't help that their parents are divorced but then you come in like you are some gift to God and put them down in any way you can think of. To take the innocence of a child is a deadly sin, you're going to hell! By the way if your wife knows she's just as bad, if i was her I would have someone beat the S***T out of you not to mention leave your sorry a** far behind. Good luck sicko!
2006-10-26 17:58:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are horrible and someday you will be ashamed of your behavior. They will remember and I hope they remind you someday. You should divorce. If your wife is condoning this behavior she also needs help. If your stepson is cutting himself that is a sheer cry for help. Its only a matter of time before someone comes to investigate I hope and do you want a charge of child abuse on your police record even if it is dropped you will carry it all your life. Leave.
2006-10-26 17:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by lona b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you really need to consider professional help. If you are treating your step children this bad, why don't you do it to your own son? There has to be a logical reason. How can you even be in the same house seeing that a young boy cuts himself because of how you treat him? Maybe you should check yourself into a mental hospital.
2006-10-26 16:15:54 · answer #8 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Wow....those poor children...the poor mother and poor you. I personally think that you really had no clue what you were getting yourself into when you married a woman with two kids. And I think it's been a very big wake up call for you. Hence the reason for the abuse. And yes this is child abuse and not something to be trifled with. Luckily you yourself notice this and are questioning your own behavior towards your spouse's children. You really need to get help. And personally if you don't believe in divorce you need to seperate or move out NOW before your verbal abuse becomes physical. Already it is affecting the mental stability of the oldest child. Yes your abuse of him needs to be addressed immediatly. He will need to have his own form of counciling. Your wife will too. For her not to notice the behavior of yours towards her children is scarey in itself. She needs to learn about herself and how to properly protect her children. All in all your situation looks like it is on the verge of totally exploding out of control if it hasn't already. Get out and Get help. NOW!
2006-10-26 16:24:34 · answer #9 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what my Parents got divorced
over this.
My stepmom always yelled at me
but she would hit me to
she wouldnt let me have any freedom.
Just make sure you let them live
their life.
Because knowing the fact that
if you werent their they would be
able to do so many things
an experiance other stuff.
I think they would rather perfer you gone.
I think your a good Stepdad
just dont yell at them much
punish them with love.
2006-10-26 16:21:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not try family therapy? contact your local health and human services department they will help you get the ball rolling. from your statements it sounds like you have some anger issues as well as some jealousy issues (do you think the kids are taking away the attention you should be getting from your wife?)
this is not something that you can fix on your own, you need the help of a professional. your comments to the kids are considered verbal abuse....and believe me verbal abuse can be just as destructive to a child as physical abuse. think of your wife as well....if you truly love her like you say you do, what do you think this is doing to her?...she is being ripped apart inside...she loves her kids, but at the same time she loves you.
2006-10-27 03:55:11 · answer #11 · answered by julie's_GSD_kirby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋