I've been in a 'fwb' situation with a guy for about 4 years. We get all hot and heavy for awhile, but then cool off...and the cycle continues. (We got together a couple weeks ago after not seeing each other for over a year.) The first night we hook-up after being apart he always starts talking about having babies and us getting married, and I start thinking about the 'maybes'. But the next time we talk he says he can't remember saying anything. I feel stupid because I really want all that from him, and I know I'm never going to get it. We've known each other for 15 years and he really is the man of my dreams.
Is there a way to separate sex and my feelings for him?
2006-10-26 15:49:03 · 11 answers · asked by raynejacien 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And I don't sleep around. He is actually the only guy I have slept with in the past 2 years. Once last year, once this year.
2006-10-26 16:00:29 · update #1
Wait a minute...in one sentence you said he's the man of your dreams, but in a previous sentence you said he basically lied by saying he never said something that you're sure he said. So the man of your dreams is a liar?
You sound confused, and I think your emotions for him are leading you blind. If a close friend of yours was in this situation, and she came to you for advice, what would you say to her? And be honest, b/c it sounds like though you obviously really like him and want a commitment w/ him, he doesn't, and is really only saying it when things heat up.
My advice to you (b/c it seems you're asking for some), is to stop looking at the maybes, since you seem to be the only one thinking about them. If the maybes will turn into definites, then they'll either have to take a lot of time w/ this fellow before they change, or they'll have to be with somebody else who wants the same, and doesn't play you for a fool each time things get heavy.
2006-10-26 16:03:57 · answer #1 · answered by Turmoyl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) don't get love confused with passion.. Passion without commitment is way o.k. however, love without commitment is not.
2) obviously you are there whenever he decides he wants to see you... and then he tells you what you want to hear.. You clearly see the pattern. Is he really Mr. Right? or just the one guy you can't tame?
3) Sorry to say this my dear but you are being played. Been there. You need to decide what it is you want and if it's marriage and babies move on because the two of you are not on that page. If you just want to wait around for this guy to come see you next time that's o.k. too. Do it with passion, not love.
2006-10-26 23:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, leave him alone. You will never have a relationship with a FWB it never work, because all they want you for is the sex. So you need to move on and stop giving it up to him. Maybe if you don't give it up he might just want you for who you are.
2006-10-26 22:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by NEET29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, I'm afraid not. Once the feelings develop it's impossible to separate them.
2006-10-26 22:51:04 · answer #4 · answered by Deleted 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't and shouldn't. You are far too worthy of love to not want that. Now, go and claim that love and end the "benefits" you have with this guy.
2006-10-26 22:51:53 · answer #5 · answered by Green Arrow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you stop sleeping around. Second, you get married. Third, you don't worry about it.
2006-10-26 22:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man of your dreams would 'never' use you that way
2006-10-26 22:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont seperate them dont give him the sex if he doesnt have feelings for you why do people have to make them two different things dont screw make love keep them as one good luck
2006-10-26 22:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by felix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please...pssh.
Stop having sex with this guy who is using you. Open your eyes.
2006-10-26 22:51:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only if you can become a man
2006-10-26 22:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by Rick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋