Being pick on at school?

Question

My son just started six grade and its in middle school he's adhd and is adjusting o.k. under the circumstances now he's telling me that 7TH Graders are starting to laugh and call him names and sometimes it hurts his feeling he's a sweet and caring child what do i tell him.

Answer 1

High School and middle school are rough times. Older kids will ALWAYS pick on the younger ones. While this shouldn't be used as an excuse--sometimes it stirs up more problems (with the current kids picking on him AND possibly more) with the kids. The best thing my mom would tell me was later in life, they will get theirs. She always reminded me no matter how great high school is--there will be people out there to make it harder and that those people weren't worth my time. Surprisingly her words of wisdom were really helpful. I never picked on anyone and rarely got picked on but I had a few "not so nice" friends. Tell him to keep his chin up and possibly he could eat at a different spot or just steer clear of those other kids. Best of luck--I know it's rough on BOTH of you. Everything will turn out when he's a successful business man or in the "real world" in a few years!

Answer 2

I think this subject makes me more upset than any other. I was picked on as a child and it was devastating to me. It started around 6 grade for me. Now my oldest son is 9 and he has Aspergers Syndrome, which gives him some characteristics of being ADHD and the kids tease him and call him names too. It just makes me so mad. I try to tell him to just ignore them and walk away. I know that it still hurts though and will only get worse because he is only in the 4th grade. I have considered homeschool for him because I remember how I felt. Just keep asking your son everyday how things went and go up to the school if you have to. Talk to the counselor or principal. You dont want things to get out of hand and have him depressed, etc..My mom did that for me, and went up to the school and the name calling basically stopped thank goodness. BUt I kept it to myself most of the time, until I finally broke down one day because I just couldnt take it anymore. They get brutal. I just talk to my son about it everyday to make sure nothing extreme is going on. Unfortunatley there iis not much you can do except to go to the school if it gets any worse.

Answer 3

These next few years (especially the middle school years) can be particularly hard for those kids who don't "fit in". My daughter has had the same problems... It is important to find out what they are saying... Why is your son being picked on? .... In my daughter's case it is because she is more interested in learning than fitting in... She has been called a lesbian because her first priority is not trying to get a boyfriend (she is currently in 8th grade). She has been called a geek and nerd because she would rather read than gossip.

What I do (I am a stay-at-home dad) is to encourage her individuality... Explain to him that kids at this age can be very cruel... If he is a good student (good grades) then explain to him that these kids who pick on him now will be the same ones that will be asking him for a job in the future. Encourage him to defend his individuality. Talk to him... Try to get out of him exactly what the others said... Perhaps give him some good come-back lines should the situation come up again.

The most important thing is to instill upon him that this behavior from others probably will not stop so it is up to him to either accept that kids will be cruel or compromise who he truly is and change to please others. I hope that he chooses the former.

If, on the other hand, it comes to the point that others do more than just say things..i.e. throw things at him or touch him in anyway then go straight to the principal and school resource officer... Also support your son if he gets suspended if he fights back... My son had a problem in middle school as well... One time two boys started hitting him.... because he defended himself and fought back, he got suspended. That is the rule... When I talked to the Principal I asked him what he would do if two kids started hitting you... He said that he would have done the same as what my son did... but the rules are the rules... I told my son that if the situation ever came up again then he has my permission to take the kid out! He had a brown belt in TaeKwonDo at the time... A few weeks later one of the same kids shoved him while on the bus... He took him out! The kid never reported it and never again picked on my son.

To sum it up... Keep the lines of communication open with your son... Don't dismiss what he is saying because what may seem petty to you is very real to him... Encourage his individuality.... And instill upon him that although it may seem like a life time to him but that things will get better in High School and even more better in College.

Good Luck to both of you!

Answer 4

omg i feel for you...I have a boy who is almost 7 and he's a high functioning autistic. he has adhd and he stutters when he gets excited. Over the summer he was playing t-ball and I noticed the kids were starting to see him as being different from them. As a parent it's very hard I know, and everyday I wonder what it will be like for him once he gets to middle school. All I can think is to teach him how to fight because the bullies will always pick on the weaker kids unless they stand up for themselves. Try enrolling your son in a karate class or something.

Answer 5

I would not mess around. I also have a child with ADHD. Go directly to the school and demand something to be done. Most schools have an Anti-Bullying policy. This would clearly fall into that category. We, as parents of kids with ADHD, are the only ones who truely understand how sensitive our kids are to this kind of abuse. As for what to tell him, I would tell him those boys are just showing how immature and ignorant they are. Remind him also why he should never do those types of things to other kids because he knows how it makes a person feel. Best of luck to you and your son.

Answer 6

The 7th graders are picking on him because he's younger. Thats what they find funny. It has nothing to do with ADHD because you cannot look at someone and tell they have ADHD. It's just a part of life and maybe you should find the kids and tell their parents to tell them to leave your child alone

Answer 7

Tell him this.
Life is not always fair. There are good people in the world who will do more kindness for you than you ever thought possible, and there are bad people in the world who will hurt you for no reason or for the most stupid reason.
The important thing is that your family loves you and G-d loves you and that will help you face the unfairness in the world. Try to always find the good people and stay close to them and you can help each other. Keep out of the way of the bad kids. Never fight them unless you absolutely cannot find any other way, and if you do fight them, fight hard as you can to win fast and get away.

Answer 8

He needs to ignore them and walk away. If it's really affecting him, he should talk to a teacher, or you should, and they will put a stop to it. It may just be part of the junior high pecking order, I know at my school, we eight graders laugh at the sixth graders, but we all know it's all in good fun, completely good-natured.

Answer 9

That it is a part of life. I went to middle school and there are bullies there. If your child doesn't like it, talk to a counselor.

Answer 10

Man i would beat dat boii thas pickin on my babe! Naw!! Gurl u need to talk to a teacher! Or have him change Schools! Good luck!