I am Bipolar and seeing a counselor but my husband has had enough of the bullshit....?

Question

I want to throw my hands up and be done because I make him so unhappy. I am trying to deal with my own emotional rollercoaters and try to keep his feelings in mind as well. I have 4 children that I am trying to keep happy along with him. I have disrespected him in a lot of ways. (NOT SLEEPING AROUND) It seems as though he is now my protector instead of my husband. This is driving me crazy. We are on the verge of divorce after 10 years of marriage and I can't imagine being without him. I am 36 and he is 47. We live in TX and it takes 60 days for a divorce to be final. I told him to draw up the papers because I thought we should get a divorce because he is so unhappy. I have been fighting this for months now. I don't know how to handle this situation anymore. Desperate in Texas. KIm.

Answer 1

With bipolar a counselor probably can not help as much as a psychiatrist. A person with bipolar needs medication. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

I understand your desperation, but doing something rash at this point will only leave you both with lots of pieces to pick up.

Consider the following:

1.Have your husband contact the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill's Texas chapter ( http://www.namitexas.org/ ). This organization offers support groups and guidance for family members who are coping with the mental illness of a family member.

2. Sign a release of information for your therapist to talk with your husband, or if possible, bring him to your next session.

3. Be certain that you are accurately reporting your symptoms and problems to your psychiatrist. You may benefit from spending a brief time in the hospital to medically stabalize your symptoms. It is almost certain that you will emerge less frantic or overwhelmed.

4. Bipolar disorder is highly treatable but there are often complicating factors. If you have substance abuse or personality difficulties, these should be addressed in treatment also. It may be that a different kind of therapy (such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy or DBT) would help you keep your emotions better managed.

Best of luck to you. I hope that you can find a way to bring matters back to a calmer state soon.

Answer 3

I'm very sorry for your situation. I too have had problems in spousal relationships and with my child because of my bipolar. If it's not the depression it's the irritability and impatience that makes me hard to tolerate when I'm sick. Whether your marriage survives or not, you still have to live with yourself and that means fighting for stability with your illness at all costs. Medication, counselling, a support group can all make a big difference. I think it's important for your family to know that they are not responsible for fixing you. Equally important is letting them know that you need their understanding and support, and spell out how they can support you. Has your husband had much contact with your psychiatrist? He needs to have a handle on your illness and your doctor's plan in treating you. Perhaps that will make him feel somewhat empowered. His anger may be the result of feeling helpless to help you. When I'm ill my daughter's behaviour deteriorates a lot (she's 8). She gets angry, defiant, and has a lot of emotional outbursts. At those times I try to find things to do with her that require virtually no energy, like a game of 'I spy', or holding up flash cards for her to practice words and math. She doesn't return to normal though until I'm well again. It hurts a lot to see her have to go through that. I'm a single parent so I don't have anyone else to spell me off. I just hope she will have a good perspective of all of this when she's grown up, and hopefully your kids will too.

I pasted in a couple books that I found on Amazon.com. They are both highly recommended for families.


The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know by David J. Miklowitz (Paperback - Jan 24, 2002)
Buy new: $19.95 $13.57 In Stock
Used & new from $12.21


Bipolar Disorder: A Guide for Patients and Families by Francis Mark Mondimore (Paperback - May 15, 1999)
Used & new from $1.60

Answer 4

Heyyyy, cool down, ma'am.

Lemme see now, I don't really get the bi-polar. Do you mean bi.....?

Well, for a start, the fact that you know that you've erred [though, God help me, I don't know how] is a good beginning. Besides the fact you feel remorse is going one more step in the right direction.
Your plea for help shows that you want to amend , which is even better.

No husband wants to break up a marriage,especially with 4 kids who'll be traumatized.

So, why don't you both have a real heart-to-heart talk? Sort things out.

He sounds like a great guy, because you say he's now your "Protector"

And don't let people who criticize your age difference and stuff bother you. They're probably venting their own frustrations.

Trust in the Lord, our God; for He shall provide the resolution.

All the best.

Answer 5

You sound like a good person in a bad place. Be safe in a safe place until you are emotionally well again. Step out of life and go to a hospital. The kids only need one parent for now. Good luck and remember that thousands have done the same before you.

Answer 6

You did not mention if you were taking medication to stabilize your mood swings? For the family those mood swings, become demanding times and burnout.

Get yourself into counseling, individual and marital/family. And take with the Psychiatrist about medication to stablize your mood swings.

Divorce is not always the answer but imagine living with "you" and how you would react having to deal with whatever your problems are.

If he has been there for ten years, I would hope with some encouragement and open communcation through counseling the two of you could resolve issues.

Answer 7

Well right now you need to think of yourself and your children.... He is a big boy and can handle himself.... My husband is also older than me... by 12 years... we don't have kids but I do have bipolar... i found it best that you worry about what you need to and let the rest go that you can not change. Just keep seeing your counseler and if you are on meds don't quit taking them.
Good luck and remember you are not alone.

Answer 8

mabey if u meet a man who is sweet to u no matter what you wont be depressed and need pills

Answer 9

i think you need to go to marriage counselor and talk to him about you unhappens

Answer 10

.


WOMEN WHO MARRY A MAN 10 YEARS THEIR SENIOR ARE BONE HEADED!!!

I GUESS YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR MEDS!!!!


START SLEEPING AROUND, YOU MAY FIND SOMEONE WORTH YOUR WHILE!!!!!!!!!!



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