My daughter is 2 1/2. She is precocious, stubborn, frustrating, difficult, adorable...how do i keep peace?

Question

My daughter right from the start......I knew she was going to be trouble. She had to everything herself. EVERYTHING! Ughhh. We "argue" all the time. There arent any tantrums and I dont give in (here in the "problem"). She does cry easily when I dont give in but the "crying chair" is quite effective. She eats well, sleeps even better. She is very happy and incredibly strong. She did "sit ups" at 4 months when I held her legs. She can pump the swing herself. Rock hard abs. I should be so lucky! I just dont know how to effectively communicate with her so that we are both happy. She listens to everone else but me. I had to put her in daycare full time just so we didnt fight. Is this crazy or what?? I am a stay home mom with my baby in daycare until 5PM. I try and start my day with a positive attitude but within minutes of her waking up its "me do iiiiiiiiittttt!!!!!" She cant sit and play by herself.

Ideas, anyone????!!!!!

Answer 1

she is obviously very independent and confident. i don't think there is any point to arguing with her, it's futile and generally it's a lose/lose situation. you need to be very firm and clear about what you expect from her. i think the best way to go would be to leave the room when the tantrum starts, when she has quietened, ask her again. she is at the age where she understands what you are asking of her, but she is defying you because she knows if she keeps up with the screaming and tantrum throwing, eventually, things will go her way. try and stay calm, don't yell back, let her know that if the behaviour continues, that there will be a punishment.....e.g remove a privilege, it must be something you can bargain with

Answer 2

Sweetheart, this is her personality. A lot of it will always be her. You are the mommy, there is no need to argue and fight with a 2 year old. If there is good reason for her to be able to do something herself, give her the time to do it, but if the answer is plain and simple NO, then that's it. You don't need to argue. Take her to daycare only a few hours a day, she is yours to raise and you need to put some more time into doing it before she is a teenager and the fighting really starts. She sounds just amazing, and I know toddlers are hard, but you will never learn the little tricks if you send her with someone else for 10 hours a day.

Answer 3

Do we have the same child??? My daughter will be 3 next month... and it just seems to get worse! I work full time, but opposite schedule than my husband so she is always with one of us. She argues with both of us, but I seem to have better luck with her. I DO NOT believe in hitting, AT ALL. It will not help the situation. If a parent physically abuses a child, that child completely loses trust of that parent...then all hell breaks loose, and the child is psychologically damaged. I have never hit her, but I was abused as a child...not fun.
Honestly the best tactic is to *NEVER* lose you cool. Keep your voice calm at all times. If things are going awry, instead of raising my voice and threatening punishments, I say something like this, "Oh, Indi, it's too bad you're giving up your dessert like this. I know how much you like pie." in a very calm, soothing voice. Or, "Indi, I know that you are such a good listener, why have you been having so much trouble lately? Is there anything I can do to help?" It's really important not to engage in an argument. Also not to make blaming statements or questions, like, "What's wrong with you?" or "What's the matter?" ( Another good tactic, when things have gotten so far out of hand that there's no turning back ...dun dun dun...is starting over. Sometimes if her temper is so out of control that there is no end in sight, I simply ask if she wants to start over. This means we forget it ever happened. My mom did this with me when I was little, I loved it. It gives the child a second chance, and you a fresh start. It certainly shouldn't be overused (I use it a couple times a month), but is very helpful.
Unlike your daughter, mine does have tantrums. The way I try to handle things doesn't prevent these tantrums, or bad behavior. It does make them very short lived. If there's no one to argue with, how can they continue arguing? Your daughter's strong personality and independence is exactly what you want in a little girl, and will be great attributes later. I do try to let Indira do everything that she can do, herself. It may take a little longer at first, but she's gotten really good at so many things. Hope this helps, good luck!

Answer 4

First make sure that any medical problems are resolved.
then, this is the hard part, lay down the law, you are the parent
and what you ask for the child to do, goes. as far as " she listens
to everyone else but me" have you ever heard of a "Sunday face"
that's when you can be as ornery as a stubborn mule through
the week, but on Sunday be angelic as any an angel. and this is why they call this the terrible twos, the child has just realized that she is a person, and feels that they have to have a say about what goes on in her life. you need to reign her in, you are the boss. you have to look after her for for the next 16 years, if not more. always keep a good attitude, you will realize that
you will be doing the child a favor.

Answer 5

just keep calm and give 5 mins to yourself, when she takes her nap take a bath forget about the dirty dishes, just take time to yourself. My 2 yr old says no to everything, and I know it's just a phase. He shoves things in my face, but I try to keep cool, just calm down and think before you react.

Answer 6

ok for starters there should be no "crying chair" there should be boot to butt. She know that you will cave and that she's in charge. She's going through the stage where she is trying to push the limits and do what she wants but you need to be the parent and when you say no mean no, if she pushes that spank her!