TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
2006-10-26 14:02:06 · 11 answers · asked by nikkismiles7 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
KEEP READING.......
TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't ***
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pyjamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV
Of the times we did get together:
2006-10-26 14:04:11 · update #1
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
2006-10-26 14:04:40 · update #2
why doesnt she just leave him?
2006-10-26 22:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by nickname4anne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was funny, definatly made me laugh
2006-10-26 14:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by Donovan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA KINDA funny lol
2006-10-26 14:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by kary_rox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when r u gonna put the rest of the joke??
2006-10-26 14:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Poor poor couple!!!! Good joke....it made me laugh....silly silly you.....lol
2006-10-26 14:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by })i({ J and D's Momma })i({ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alrighty then.
2006-10-26 14:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by music 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha thats great
2006-10-26 14:32:13 · answer #7 · answered by He_sEnT_Me-mY-AnGeL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tis a sad couple...but interesting...
2006-10-26 14:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by Rich 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol
2006-10-26 14:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Heather S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HEHEHEHEHE THAT WAS FUNNY!!!
2006-10-26 14:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by funnyfun92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋