Today, five years ago my lil brother died ( he was only in his 30's) and it still hurts like hell! I've been the strong one in the family, but to be honest, i'm tired. I feel like screaming my heart out but why can't I.
2006-10-26 14:00:25 · 11 answers · asked by Juanita 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my mother died a little over a year ago and being the oldest sister i always (and still do) feel like i have a responsibility now to be strong for everyone else by not showing how much it hurts, and by being there if they need a shoulder to cry on or motherly advice that my mother can no longer give.
i wouldnt even tel people how i was feeling about it, i felt no one needed to know because they have their own problems.
now i realise everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and talking about it really helps even if u burst out into tears, when i visit the cemetery my fiance gives me time to my self to talk with her and everytime i end up crying but i always feel better because i get my feelings off my chest.
talk with your family about the good times u had with him laugh about it and cry about it you will feel better, the more u keep inside the angrier you get with your self. u might have your own memories u want to keep to your self which is fine but im sure your family want to know your ok and you should talk to them.
remember your brothers life not his death u will only have bad memories otherwise.
when my aunt came over late that night my mother died i knew something was wrong right away and at first i was so mad at my mum for dying because i was 4 months pregnant with my first baby i needed her there to help me. but i fi keep remembering that day i only get upset.
just know your brother wants you to be happy and he wants u to look after yourself........
my mother was only 42 so s he was too young also..
you can always im me if u need someone to talk to!
2006-10-26 14:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find some time totally by yourself, and scream your heart out. Cry your eyes out. Punch pillows, kick the ground, do whatever you have to do to release. You will feel so much better, you need to release the built up emotions inside of you. I totally understand teh situation you are going thorough, as I have been there myself, believe me, you are only one person, and you can only withstand so much stress, especially when you are staying strong for the other family members, you are essentially carrying their stress too. You might also want to consider either counseling, or believe it or not, what I found to be most helpful, is massage. Schedule yourself for a massage. They can be pricey, but if that is an issue, look for a massage school that has a student clinic, it will be considerably cheaper. You would be amazed at the release that massage can give you if you allow it to. Good luck God Bless. Your little brother is there by your side. He is helping you be strong.
2006-10-26 14:11:35 · answer #2 · answered by heather_b_cody 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The time will come for you to stop feeling as if you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You're carrying grief for yourself and everyone else, protecting them from the pain you still feel? You don't have to be the strong one in the family all the time. Everyone needs a good cry, release the control you try to grasp, there is nothing your brother would want more for you than for you to move on and be happy. Which is what we want for all those we love.
2006-10-26 14:19:34 · answer #3 · answered by DB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been the strong one in the family, but you are holding your emotions constantly and it does not help in the healing process. When you loose a family member, you feel like you lost a part of your body and it hurts, it hurts so bad, that only letting out your emotions and letting time go by...will help in the healing process. You should focus on the good times you spent together. Hope this helps, went thru it myself.
2006-10-26 14:13:15 · answer #4 · answered by Big&Tall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born and a time to die.
For God had appointed to each one of us a time to die. We are just pilgrims on earth for our real destiny is in heaven.
My eldest brother died at the age of 54 two years ago. Since we are a firm believer in Christ, we believed that he is in good hands because he is with the Lord, Parting is such a sweet sorrow but I am always reminded that God had already prepared a place of rest for my brother and it is well for his soul.
My prayer for you is that as you release your fears and tears to God, God will make a way for you to understand that to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord. Rest assured that your brother is resting in peace with the Lord. God Bless.
2006-10-26 15:09:34 · answer #5 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
losing someone is something you never get over but you should try to celebrate some how he was 30 there must have been something that was special about him that he like to do for others ....if not make it a day to do something to help others in his memory...volunteer,donate his favorite childhood book to a school,plan a party to celebrate life ..in general ..if he had favorite team go to the game etc...another thing to help get over some pain is each year write him a letter ...i have a friend who donated a flower garden to her son and every year she brings his fav soda and a card and leaves it there for him ...its her way of dealing she writes him a card whenever shes blue and for his bday etc..us friends go later in the week and make sure everything is taken care of her mourning has turned her flower garden in to a memorial park where his friends have put benches statues etc in his memory..i know it hurts but do something in his memory something that would make him proud and then it at least makes that pain a bit more worthwhile good luck GOD BLESS
2006-10-26 14:15:00 · answer #6 · answered by Alli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I grew to alter into very sick 15 years in the past with bacterial meningitis. It replaced my existence forever. i became in a coma for 6 days and that they pronounced i does no longer make it...nicely, I did :D yet I had to income to stroll returned. and that i lost my listening to yet can hear with a listening to gadget. there became no cognitive recommendations injury. yet, communicate some existence changing journey. i became a listening to individual for 25 yrs, then it became in simple terms long previous. yet i will nevertheless hear music and individuals talking and stuff, it in simple terms would not sound like my genuine listening to did. I walk like popular returned, and my speech became no longer impaired by the listening to loss. So i'm in simple terms grateful to be alive. To all of you, i'm so sorry to your losses :(
2016-10-16 11:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a way to deal with it been there girl let him rest you need to start living and find some one to talk to lol
2006-10-26 14:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by Dianna S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
phiscologically you're the strong one so you are like i can't do that to my familly
2006-10-26 14:03:18 · answer #9 · answered by HalieeBoBaliee. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my prayers for your brother's soul and my prayers for you to have strength..God Bless
2006-10-26 14:04:20 · answer #10 · answered by michelle ann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋