Seriously, does the pain ever stop?

Question

Fallen in love for the first time- with my best friend. Head over heals. He doesn't love me- but he wants to remain best friends. I ache every day. I love him so much. Is there any point in hoping that his feelings might change? If not, will this crippling pain ever go away? Go on, lay the truth on me...

Answer 1

Here's the formula to love: Both parties have to have a mutual feeling for each other or else it's not going to work. If he's told you where you stand and where he stands with you, than let it be. Because you're gonna look like you're a stalker or you're obsessed, and guys definetly don't like that. I been there done that like when I was in junior high, and I liked this boy so much that I switched my schedule around and my parents didn't even know I did it. And I didn't even tell him I liked him and nothing ever happened. It was a prolonged crush! But he pissed me off one day and then it fizzled out. But you're never experience true love unless the person loves you back the way you love them. You need to occupy your mind to take your thoughts off of him. Exercise, go out with your friends, Date other people!! YOu never know, maybe when he sees you dating someone else, feelings might change! But honey, if it's meant to be, the heavens will make it happen. And besides, you wouldn't want anyone to go out with you when you're the one head over heels and he isn't, because it's going to eventually make you miserable with resentment. If you can't handle a friendship with someone you really want to be with than don't be friends, because that's going to get in the way with you being friends. It's easier to be friends with an ex than some one you want to be with and you can't be with them. His feelings might change but if they do he will let you know. Don't throw yourself at him anymore, just let it ride and if he ain't with the program, ride on to another cowboy. I know that sounds bad but love hurts, but understanding heals.

Answer 2

feelings sometimes change. But that is a two way street. Your feelings might change too. Right now it hurts. And words don't fix aches in the heart. Even words from total strangers online. But tomorrow is another day. And ....you are going to get up, wash your face, brush your teeth. And think again about him. The ache stays a long, long time. You go over what you should have said, what you could have done to make it work the right way. If you were blonde or dark haired, that would have been the turning point for him. If you were taller, shorter, thinner, fuller, funnier, more serious. None of that really would have fixed this one. It will hurt for a long long time. But one morning, you will wake up, and the pain is less. And then a few days from then, less yet. Until one day, you don't even think about hurting over him. It happens gradually. Too gradually really, but it does happen. And it will get better. Don't wallow too much. The world is pretty nice most times. Take a nice walk in the afternoon. Smile a little bit. It gets easier to smile.

Answer 3

There isn't exactly a switch you can turn off and on, no. The pain won't go away unless you let it go. It sounds weird, but it's true. You can't worry about what will happen, if anything, so enjoy the time you have together and see what happens. For what it's worth, love usually finds us when and where we least expect it and have most often found a good girl to date when I was chasing someone else.

Answer 4

no the pain wont stop
especially since he was you first love
plus you had to have alot of things in common other wise you wont have been best friends.
i was the same i fell for my best friend, he was my first love; the only difference is that he loved me as well
and now he wants to be friends
but i cant find my self to going back to that place because i loved him, and still love him very much
i think it is true that you never really get over your first love
and the taught that you had a history before you had fallen for him only makes it worse.

i'm hoping that you'll be able to deal with the pain and the issue

Answer 5

I am 55 and felt like putting a gun to my head when I was in your situation.Time does heal all wounds.Thats a promise.Keep hoping that he might change but move on immediatley looking for love and most importantly companionship.Any time yu need to talk I am here for you.
Chalrie

Answer 6

Ouch, well just continue to be his friend. If he's already expressed to you that he'd like to remain that way respect it. You'll definitely get over the pain. It takes time girl. Read some books or get help if you're way too overwhelmed. Don't spend so much time with him right now...

Answer 7

Hi hon, sorry its happened to you but for me it hasn't but it helps to think of all the negative in the relationship and let the good things go and it helps a little but for me its helped but my last thought this side of the grave will be of him and i can't change that I can only move on and hold my head high. Too many other fish in the sea. Move on!

Answer 8

The truth is...

I’m sure that this question been asked and answered like 500 times already? Why do we have to endure reading these repetitive recycled moronic questions? Is there some contest going on to see how many times the Answers community can ask the same idiotic question?

Answer 9

Ms;
feelings are a strange thing. In time you will beable to deal with it better. Do not spend your time wasteing for him to come around. Be friends but, move on. The more time you spend thinking about this the more it will upset you.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

Yes. as with all things, this too shall pass. don't hold your breath hoping for this guy to change his mind. if you do not feel that you can remain friends with him, make new ones. it hurts now, but, it will get easier.